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Is Marriage Worth it? - Page 5

post #61 of 98
Quote:
Originally Posted by Thomas View Post

he might be. Remember that women as a group are not monolithic in terms of relationships. If you have a woman who's very self-centered and willful and demanding - that's one instance were you either stand up for yourself or be miserable.

i know people married to that type of woman. i could never do it.
Quote:
Also note: Mommy instinct is NOT universal. Remember this.

truth. so happy my wife is a good mommy, and wants to raise the kids. its far from a given, especially in todays world where many women are very career or self centered. the instinct to want to be mommy has staunch competition these days. to each their own.
post #62 of 98
Any SFers sign a prenup before getting hitched? I need a good lawyer in case I decide to pop the question in the near future.
post #63 of 98
Quote:
Originally Posted by in stitches View Post

i know people married to that type of woman. i could never do it.
truth. so happy my wife is a good mommy, and wants to raise the kids. its far from a given, especially in todays world where many women are very career or self centered. the instinct to want to be mommy has staunch competition these days. to each their own.

Funny, a friend from work many years ago met The One and settled down. She gave up the career to be a full-time mommy, and from all I can discern she's fulfilled. I was a bit surprised to hear that, but I'm happy for her.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Neo_Version 7 View Post

Any SFers sign a prenup before getting hitched? I need a good lawyer in case I decide to pop the question in the near future.

Shit no. We didn't have anything that was was worth trying to protect. Interesting arguments for/against prenups, though.
post #64 of 98
^ In this day and age, if the thought of a prenup doesn't even cross your mind, you're doomed. If this was pre-90s, I wouldn't blame you but women these days are way too vindictive.
post #65 of 98
Quote:
Originally Posted by Thomas View Post

Funny, a friend from work many years ago met The One and settled down. She gave up the career to be a full-time mommy, and from all I can discern she's fulfilled. I was a bit surprised to hear that, but I'm happy for her.

thats is quite cool. glad he makes enough dough that she doesnt have to work at all. the stitch wife would love to be full time mommy, but we cant make it on my salary alone. frown.gif
Quote:
Shit no. We didn't have anything that was was worth trying to protect.

+1
post #66 of 98
Quote:
Originally Posted by Neo_Version 7 View Post

^ In this day and age, if the thought of a prenup doesn't even cross your mind, you're doomed. If this was pre-90s, I wouldn't blame you but women these days are way too vindictive.

Not quite. iirc, a pre-nup is about protecting the assets you bring to the marriage. Whatever y'all earn during the marriage belongs to both of you and is split in some form or fashion, depending on what you negotiate.

Now, if you're looking for a non-vindictive woman, I know someone - she's a bit older, believes in Karma, has mad tattoos, and is letting her ex-hubs get away with a lot in her divorce.
post #67 of 98
Quote:
Originally Posted by Thomas View Post

Whatever y'all earn during the marriage belongs to both of you and is split in some form or fashion, depending on what you negotiate.

LOL. That will never happen. I will make sure of it.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Thomas View Post

Now, if you're looking for a non-vindictive woman, I know someone - she's a bit older, believes in Karma, has mad tattoos, and is letting her ex-hubs get away with a lot in her divorce.

Please to introduce me to her.
post #68 of 98
Quote:
Originally Posted by in stitches View Post

he may be serious, but he is also wrong. treating a woman like shit is a great way to get cheated on or have your dick cut off.

Quote:
Originally Posted by Thomas View Post

he might be. Remember that women as a group are not monolithic in terms of relationships. If you have a woman who's very self-centered and willful and demanding - that's one instance were you either stand up for yourself or be miserable.
Also note: Mommy instinct is NOT universal. Remember this.

Who said anything about treating a woman like shit?

My point was that the (i) romantic hetero idea of the "one" and (ii) that fawning over some girl you just met and treating her like she is Life's ultimate prize no matter what she does to you is all BS.
Relationships where I treated a woman as this platonic ideal to be worshipped above all else, failed miserably and some included fire. This platonic ideal of a woman implys that you sacrifice everything for a good woman. I sacrificed my goals and my wants out of life -- looking for the one.

After getting my heartbroke enough times after pouring every part of me into a relationship, I realized that a relationship is a partnership. Just as in business, a partnership will not last where one party carries all the weight and sacrifices for the other. Some partnerships are better than others, but there is never just one partner available.
post #69 of 98
Quote:
Originally Posted by Neo_Version 7 View Post

LOL. That will never happen. I will make sure of it.

you dont plan on making any money?
Quote:
Originally Posted by zarathustra View Post

Who said anything about treating a woman like shit?
My point was that the (i) romantic hetero idea of the "one" and (ii) that fawning over some girl you just met and treating her like she is Life's ultimate prize no matter what she does to you is all BS.
Relationships where I treated a woman as this platonic ideal to be worshipped above all else, failed miserably and some included fire. This platonic ideal of a woman implys that you sacrifice everything for a good woman. I sacrificed my goals and my wants out of life -- looking for the one.
After getting my heartbroke enough times after pouring every part of me into a relationship, I realized that a relationship is a partnership. Just as in business, a partnership will not last where one party carries all the weight and sacrifices for the other. Some partnerships are better than others, but there is never just one partner available.

ah, i misunderstood you. yes, there needs to be a fair give and take no question.
post #70 of 98
Quote:
Originally Posted by in stitches View Post

you dont plan on making any money?
ah, i misunderstood you. yes, there needs to be a fair give and take no question.

I also think that before you come to this self discovery, there needs to be a plethora of meaningful one night relationships, which often involve judgment altering substances.
post #71 of 98
Quote:
Originally Posted by zarathustra View Post

I also think that before you come to this self discovery, there needs to be a plethora of meaningful one night relationships, which often involve judgment altering substances.

laugh.gif thats not going to work for me. ill trust you on it.
post #72 of 98
Quote:
Originally Posted by Piobaire View Post

You guys are making some mistakes. First, no such thing as "the one." There are at least 100 million women each of us could be happy and contented with. Really, you just have to find one of many good women and put in the effort.

Listen to this man (on this point)
post #73 of 98
Quote:
Originally Posted by Thomas View Post

Not quite. iirc, a pre-nup is about protecting the assets you bring to the marriage. Whatever y'all earn during the marriage belongs to both of you and is split in some form or fashion, depending on what you negotiate.

You can agree in a pre-nup that whatever each spouse earns during the marriage will be that spouse's separate property. In CA, each spouse must be represented by separate counsel for something like this to be valid.

Of course, the courts may still award spousal support, depending on the relative income of the parties.
post #74 of 98
Quote:
Originally Posted by FLMountainMan View Post

Married men live longer, earn more money, and report overall more happiness than single men. I'm getting married in six weeks, so I'm a little biased, but I did wait until 35 to get married. I would never get married before 25, and probably not before age 30. Ages 28-32 were my prime ass-getting years. Just absolutely ridiculous amounts of hot ass.
I can't imagine anything sadder than some single old man wasting away alone.

That's true...but that's for guys who stay married (approx 50% of all marriages)

I wonder what are the equivalent stats for guys who got married then divorced?
post #75 of 98
I see a pre-nup/co-hab as insurance on the relationship.

Not only for the assets going in to a marriage, but to save on court fees if the worst did happen.
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