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Need Advice? Ask the Panel *

post #1 of 62
Thread Starter 
This is the thread where you come to ask for serious advice on career/life/finances/anything general that you may not feel warrants its own thread. Hopefully this will be a place where earnest people can get good advice.

NOTE: This thread will be patrolled vigorously by FLMM and I for trolling, inanity, and asshattery. Offending posts will be deleted, subject to our fancy. FLMM and I are judge, jury, and executioner. There will be no appeals. We are moderators, and will moderate elsewhere in this forum with the light touch and in accordance with the general rules of the forum that you are accustomed to, but in this thread, we will be much quicker to delete and there is nothing you can do about it.

Thanks, let's hope this works.

* This thread has been brought to you by Piobaire.
post #2 of 62
Thanks for the footnote. fistbump.gif
post #3 of 62
I have airline miles expiring soon. my choices are:

- flying to the united states for a couple of weeks in november and spend time with a couple of siblings and their husbands. probably spend a lot of time drinking. or,

- go on an extended weekend trip with the wife and kids somewhere in asia (most likely child-friendly hong kong or singapore), although we've already booked our new year in some beach resort in some isolated island.

help me, wise panel.
post #4 of 62
Thread Starter 
The answer to your question, Mr. Acid, is how badly do you want/need some guy time by yourself, and how much grief from your wife are you willing to endure to get it?

A couple of weeks is a long time to be away from family, and probably would not be for me, but every family dynamic is different.

Also... expiring airline miles?
post #5 of 62
Thread Starter 
Does anyone know any good resources for understanding, diagnosing, and dealing with family members who seem to be showing signs of a personality disorder?
post #6 of 62
Quote:
Originally Posted by acidboy View Post

I have airline miles expiring soon. my choices are:
- flying to the united states for a couple of weeks in november and spend time with a couple of siblings and their husbands. probably spend a lot of time drinking. or,
- go on an extended weekend trip with the wife and kids somewhere in asia (most likely child-friendly hong kong or singapore), although we've already booked our new year in some beach resort in some isolated island.
help me, wise panel.

If said trip to the states involves Houston, then I would vote the former. We will smoke cow and pig and drink beer.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Douglas View Post

Does anyone know any good resources for understanding, diagnosing, and dealing with family members who seem to be showing signs of a personality disorder?

EEEEEE that's a tricky one. The good news is that there are a ton of resources out there - books in particular, therapists, psychiatrists, et al. The bad news is: there are a ton of resources out there and some of them compete for validity which is not especially tricky since there is massive overlap of symptoms. The worse news: the people closest to the family member can expect to do a ton of reading and make lots of phone calls and expect lots of aggravation (the reason being, the immediate family sees ALL the behaviors and isn't swayed by the 'disordered' patient and his/her side of the story). Getting a good diagnosis can take years.
post #7 of 62
BTW: thank you Piobaire * for this excellent thread.

* and you too, Douglas.
post #8 of 62
Quote:
Originally Posted by Douglas View Post

Does anyone know any good resources for understanding, diagnosing, and dealing with family members who seem to be showing signs of a personality disorder?

if you want to contact me personally, i know someone who is truly excellent. im not sure if this is exactly her field, but she can surely give you the recourses you need, and point you in the right direction.

also, great thread. props to you and pweebers.
post #9 of 62
Quote:
Originally Posted by Douglas View Post

Does anyone know any good resources for understanding, diagnosing, and dealing with family members who seem to be showing signs of a personality disorder?

Really depends in WHICH personality disorder. If you could narrow it down it would make things easier.
post #10 of 62
Acid, I would pick the kid friendly vacation. While I am not a pappa (that I know/admit to!) I often hear that this period passes too quickly for those that enjoy being parents. You can always go drinking with adults but there's a far more limited time to spend with your kids when they are still kids.

Douglas, I think the best thing you can do on the 'Net is try and get enough info to confirm there is a problem. Dr. Internet is known for being a bad diagnostician though so I'd just try to confirm some sort of problem exists and think about getting IRL help.
post #11 of 62
Acid -

my vacation in singapore was fantastic. if you feel like doing that, I'd go for it. we planned it out pretty well, so if you want ideas I'd be happy to help. my kids really loved it, as did my wife. I had fun too

if you feel like some time to yoursefl, come on over to the states. november is a tough month, but I could probably come down for a weekend in houston, or you could come to chicago
post #12 of 62
Quote:
Originally Posted by Douglas View Post

The answer to your question, Mr. Acid, is how badly do you want/need some guy time by yourself, and how much grief from your wife are you willing to endure to get it?
A couple of weeks is a long time to be away from family, and probably would not be for me, but every family dynamic is different.
Also... expiring airline miles?

wife and I are fine with each other taking extended vacations once in a while. its not an issue with us, thank god.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Piobaire View Post

Acid, I would pick the kid friendly vacation. While I am not a pappa (that I know/admit to!) I often hear that this period passes too quickly for those that enjoy being parents. You can always go drinking with adults but there's a far more limited time to spend with your kids when they are still kids.
.

yeah, I guess what I'm really trying to do is justify a solo vacation... then again, school has started here, and the only time we can take a family vacation is around christmas season, and from what I know, we're booked to spend new years in some beach in palawan. and I'm really excited for that.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Thomas View Post

If said trip to the states involves Houston, then I would vote the former. We will smoke cow and pig and drink beer.
Quote:
Originally Posted by globetrotter View Post

Acid -
my vacation in singapore was fantastic. if you feel like doing that, I'd go for it. we planned it out pretty well, so if you want ideas I'd be happy to help. my kids really loved it, as did my wife. I had fun too
if you feel like some time to yoursefl, come on over to the states. november is a tough month, but I could probably come down for a weekend in houston, or you could come to chicago

z- coincidentally, me and the wife are planning a singapore trip with the kids, but its probably be in march when the school year ends here. we've got friends and wife's got family there so it should be a blast for the kids... and I'll probably ask you your itinerary again.

t- hmmmm.... if I do go, I'll be staying a few days in little rock, so it could happen.... and z coming down.... icon_gu_b_slayer[1].gif
post #13 of 62
Thread Starter 
Dear Panel,

How come nobody seems to want to aks you any questions?
post #14 of 62
i actually have an answer to this. it also explains why the serious happy/pissed off thread did not take off.

maybe i will construct a thought out explanation later, but either way it is too bad.
post #15 of 62
Thread Starter 
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