First of all, InHocSignio, I think you bring up a number of great points. I think VLSI remedied the problem of the personal info and made a good decision to edit it, though I still found it funny. I would encourage anyone to vent frustrations that they have with a seller, whether it's an established retail business or on ebay. I also feel that sellers should be able to warn others about terrible buyers which is essentially what VLSI did in this case.
Many of us are dealing with razor thin margins and are sincerely trying our best to accurately describe, measure and take care of buyers. I think most people that contribute here wouldn't hesitate to go into their own pocket to remedy a bad situation that they helped create in regards to a buyer dispute. I know that I would. It's just that buyers like VSLI's bring down the entire system. He knew the rules that ebay and paypal have in place and appeared to know the best way to lean on a seller. That's not right and I will openly say that I wouldn't want that particular person buying anything from me, not that it would have been likely.
Brian brings up a good point. VLSI, through his posting in this thread, has proven that he's a good seller that he is honest in his transactions. Of course you're free to boycott him for any reason that you see fit.
Like I said, I think your points were valid and well-stated. They were so well-stated, in fact, that he made an apology and edited his posts to reflect it. I hope you would bring things like that up in the future as well.
Bottom line most of you sellers work your balls off for every listing. That hard work should, in an ideal sense, work out to a mutually beneficial transaction where the seller gets rewarded for his hard work and the buyer gets the item he wanted.
I do not blame VLSI for venting his frustration. Nothing is worse than seeing 1 hour hard labor (listing shirt, taking pics and careful measurements etc...) get flushed down the toilet by some whiney crybaby buyer who did not bother to check measurements. I am 100% on VLSI's side here. It is not like he screwed up or had an honest misunderstanding with his buyer. The buyer was a selfish and inconsiderate asshole who refused to take responsibility or man up to his mistake.
In reality, the buyer should have had the courtesy to ask the seller if he may return the shirt for a partial refund. Partial refund means covering the seller's eBay expenses and the seller postage costs (where buyer has to also pay for return postage).
I have done this before to a seller when I made a slight error. I emailed the seller explaining my mistake, highlighting I expected nothing from the seller given he covered his end, but I would in the event of a return cover all his expenses deemed out of pocket. I ended up getting around an 85% full refund and seller was quite happy to do this. Seller relisted and sold the item a week later for a little more than when I won the auction. I still deal with this seller today and he is more than happy to do "off eBay record" transactions. When I proposed the return he immediately said he thought I was an awesome buyer and he would be more than happy to proceed.
Bottom line, Sellers have to treat Buyers well, and Buyers have to treat Sellers well. The eBay world would be a much better place if this was observed.
Instead we have sellers shitting bricks with every transaction and a non zero percentage of buyers looking to exploit any loophole they can. At least 90% of buyers are fine, shame about the 5 - 10% of aholes out there.
As an aside, besides for the razor thin margins, we often sell things at a huge loss too (and then pay a huge final value fee to boot). Carry on.