Dating- should the guy always pay for everything? - Page 4

Yet another perfect cross-reference for the "Hookers" thread.

i would say this is a bit of wisdom that i am pleasantly surprised came from you vanity! are you sure you wrote this and not someone else?

Interesting. Here's my bit ... about and ex I had for nearly 4 years.

This ex-girlfriend of mine was mean as shit. Seems it's in the family. Her sister in North Tyneside doesn't work (claims she's got a bad back but goes to the gym) and has money hidden in the house so she can claim welfare and my ex's daughter has never had a boyfriend in 9 years ... as she's too mean to buy make up and new clothes !. The daughter landed a £20K job in April and asked my ex if she had any old business suits for free as she was too tight & mean to buy new clothes .... she works with her mother's ex colleagues so they'll soon cotton on she's wearing 2nd hand hand-me-downs that they saw her mother wearing at work 5 years ago !!!.

Anyway, re: paying ... my ex wouldn't spend a penny if we went out. Her first trick used to be that she would take a purse with only around £3 in and her lame excuse would be "I've only got £3 in my pursue darling". This pissed me off. Pathetic !. How can you have a "relationship" based on this ?. More like a sponsorship. I used to pay for all drinks, food, buses, taxis ... she wouldn't even offer to by a round of 2 drinks ... soooo mean, despite knowing how much the cost of a night out was and being on a salary of £25K herself.

When I confonted her she said her husband always paid 100% ... so why did she leave her husband then ?. She bums money off him (she recently borrowed £5K interest-free, had him pay for alterations in her house and for her car to be fixed. She even allowed her 80 y.o. dad to pay a £60 speed ticket and he's a pensioner. When I asked her how she could do this, her reply was "well all the rest of the family have had money off him I'm gonna get mine". She visits friends to get free meals & drinks but never invites them to her house and she makes her personal call using the works phone (paid for by the UK tax payer by the way.).

Her final one was - when I confronted her about paying for drinks occasionally - was to accuse me of being a "male chauvenist pig" for having the affrontery to suggest even such a thing !!!.

What a twat she was ...

What kind of douche are you to date such a "twat"? Or did you suddenly realize her flaws after you became exclusive?

Eh, I'll pay for the first few dates of a potentially budding relationship. After that, I expect some sort of effort to be reciprocated. Whether it be going half, "you pay this time, I pay next" arrangement, or just covering the tip, I don't want to date a freeloader. I ease into this, as well as my more natural sardonic self, pretty early on. I don't care to predicate things on too much of a lie.

I thought I would make a comment on the fact she was Swedish. Honestly the culture regarding paying for ones date here is very liberal. I would say the standard is going dutch except in the very initial phase of dating. Swedish women are highly emancipated and it is real warning sign, even on the first date, if she doesn't offer to pay for at least a round of drinks, dessert or the taxi. I think the main problem here is her being 18 and used to being looked after by her parents.