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dress code and culture at work - Page 5

post #61 of 92
Quote:
Originally Posted by globetrotter View Post

I probably would never say anything constructive to you about it, I'd just ridicule you behind your back, which would impact your career and you would'nt know abou tit. so we are helping you out here, and you are getting all pissy about it.
so, you want good advice? get yourself some simple well made off the rack stuff from BB or Jos bank or something similar. button down collars, standard cuffs. blue shirts, gray or khaki pants. maybe good, simple shoes. get a nice timex beater. lose the jewlery. there you go, bob's your uncle.

This is absolutely correct. It's all about messaging and projecting an image that matches people's preconceptions. If there isn't a match people are uncomfortable and that leads to doubts and hostility. At this point in your career you want to be seen as low maintenance and approachable so dress exactly as globetrotter describes. In my work I use clothes a lot to elicit particular responses from people depending on what I need from them and how I need them to act - there is a dog whistle effect with clothes that most people never see.
post #62 of 92
Quote:
Originally Posted by passingtime View Post

At this point in your career you want to be seen as low maintenance and approachable so dress exactly as globetrotter describes. .

this is a good way of putting it - if you are high maintanance, there will always be people who are just waiting for you to fuck up so that they can get rid of you.

look over your posts - you are almost saying that you are doing this lawfirm a favor working for them as an intern, and it seems that you believe that. and you can bet your ass that several people feel that, people who don't have rich parents and who didn't buy an expensive watch until after they had started tp pay off their law school loans.
post #63 of 92
Thread Starter 
Quote:
Originally Posted by globetrotter View Post


this is a good way of putting it - if you are high maintanance, there will always be people who are just waiting for you to fuck up so that they can get rid of you.
look over your posts - you are almost saying that you are doing this lawfirm a favor working for them as an intern, and it seems that you believe that. and you can bet your ass that several people feel that, people who don't have rich parents and who didn't buy an expensive watch until after they had started tp pay off their law school loans.

I'm sorry you got that impression from my posts because that is not how I feel at all.  I know that I'm not an asset to them and they could easily find another pre-law undergraduate who can do the same job as me, if not find someone better then me.  However, during my time here I continue to prove that I get things done quickly and well.  

 

Correct me if I'm wrong, but, the only way to build confidence is by being good at something.  Most people who look for lawyers look for someone who is persuasive, aggressive, and confident.  I have all those qualities, except, I don't have the degree nor do I have the confidence (yet) to be a good attorney.  I continue to do well at the internships and jobs I have in hopes to build up to getting the associate position when I finish law school.  Once I prove to both myself, and my bosses, that I'm good at what I do, I'll have more confidence.

 

I apologize if I've sounded arrogant and if I've sounded like I know everything and that I'm good at everything. 

 

I have another thread I started many months ago, maybe some of you who think I'm an ostentatious idiot with no sense of what the real world is like can look through that thread.  I'm sure you'll all get a different picture of who I am.

post #64 of 92
That was all well said.

Cheers
post #65 of 92
people also look for things like 'self awareness' and 'friendliness.' people also don't like seeing 20 year old college students wearing $15,000 watches, if for no other reason than it shows you're concerned with clothing instead of doing a good job.

let your actions speak instead of your clothing. i sometimes wear expensive clothing to work, but if someone ever asks me where it's from, i say that i got it on sale or it's from macy's. i do this not because i'm ashamed of what i wear, but because telling people that i'm wearing designer pants i spent two weeks tracking down on yoox creates a poor impression. sure in a perfect world nobody would care what you wear, but that's not the world we live in.

what troubles me is both the tone in your posts and the fact that you made this thread (and your other threads) at all. people on this board complain about how the current generation (y? z?) is too concerned with external validation and all feel that they're special flowers, and your threads scream all those thoughts.

you seem to dismiss things like degrees ('i have everything i need to be a lawyer... but the incredibly difficult six years of schooling that lies ahead of me!'), but talk is cheap. having things like degrees, while not a guarantee of a person's ability to perform, at least shows that they were willing to put the time and effort into earning something instead of simply bragging about all the skills and abilities they have.

i tore into you in another thread because you remind me of every other self-important and worthless 20 year old i meet who has about as much sense of self as a cactus, but i'll try to give you a good bit of advice here: spend less time talking about how great you are and how well you do at things, and just do well at things.
post #66 of 92
Quote:
Originally Posted by TauKappaEpsilon View Post

Correct me if I'm wrong, but, the only way to build confidence is by being good at something.  Most people who look for lawyers look for someone who is persuasive, aggressive, and confident.  I have all those qualities, except, I don't have the degree nor do I have the confidence (yet) to be a good attorney.
Ok - I will correct you. smile.gif

Delivery and consistency rate far higher than good alone which will probably get you fired. You are confusing what is required of an intern with what you perceive as being key attributes of a lawyer which is many years in the future at best. At this point standing out for any reason other than your ability to delivery is almost certainly bad, and dressing differently definitely falls into the bad category.
post #67 of 92
well, I just learned a lot vicariously... thanks senior peeps
post #68 of 92
i'm older than you and in a very different position in my life, and i too have an internship. i work at a museum doing boring cataloguing, which is basically typing descriptions of hundreds of similar items into a database. im thrilled that i have the internship because: a. it's paid, which is very rare in the field, and b. it's a killer reference if i ever want to work in the field. most of the people i work with do not have advanced degrees (some of them don't even have a college diploma), are old and are volunteers. do i lord over them the fact that i have a degree and am a funded graduate student? no, i shut the fuck up and listen to their boring stories about their grandchildren and do what's asked of me. i do this because i am intern. it's like that little speech in full metal jacket - 'there are many like me'. i am the lowest cog in the tiny machine that is a regional history museum.
post #69 of 92
final thought: you are 20 (or 21?) and in college. spend less money buying ugly jcrew cotton suits and more money buying weed and beer. spend less time worrying about if your cufflinks are going to offend a partner and more time trying to get laid.
post #70 of 92
Another thought: even though you might be humble and just trying to fit in, you have to remember that a lot of law firm partners are stuck up, self-important assholes. You may just want to "fit in," but a lot of them aren't going to like the idea of someone they see beneath/behind them dressing like they do. So even if you are self-effacing and nice to everyone, they're going to project their own biases and insecurities on you and that's going to be two-plus strikes against you.

Anyway: best of luck! Working at a big law firm can be a really soul-draining experience.
post #71 of 92
Teger brings the hate lol8[1].gif
post #72 of 92
Quote:
Originally Posted by deadly7 View Post

Who really has problems with a simple brushed steel tie bar/clip? Sure, don't break out your 20K diamond-studded gold tie bar or something equally ostentatious, but a simple one is alright.

This was a serious inquiry. Wondering what people think. Where I work nobody gives a shit, and when I wear ties (at work or for fun) I wear tie clips for utility purposes.
post #73 of 92
Bump:
Quote:
Originally Posted by TauKappaEpsilon View Post

I've been buying quality suits from a menswear specialty store since I was 10 years old.  I've always hated black suits.  Even at the age of 13 when I was shopping for my bar mitzvah suit I told our sales person (hes the second generation owner of the store, and I'm the 3rd generation in my family buying suits there) that I would not wear a black suit to my bar mitzvah.  I don't mean to sound odd.  

 


post #74 of 92
They start young thesedays.
post #75 of 92
Quote:
Originally Posted by Teger View Post

Bump:
Quote:
Originally Posted by TauKappaEpsilon View Post

I've been buying quality suits from a menswear specialty store since I was 10 years old.  I've always hated black suits.  Even at the age of 13 when I was shopping for my bar mitzvah suit I told our sales person (hes the second generation owner of the store, and I'm the 3rd generation in my family buying suits there) that I would not wear a black suit to my bar mitzvah.  I don't mean to sound odd.  

 



You can thank me later for this find. wink.gif
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