The "things you can't believe you just saw" thread... - Page 31

I'm 29 & I always talk to kids. I'm just being nice.

 

Sounds suspicious.

Do you happen to have asperger's syndrome?

It seems like nobody was ever told 'Come here right now before I drag you by the hair/neck!'. I'm sure it happened to me a few times when I was young but I can't remember any specific instances. It doesn't even really hurt in case y'all didn't know.

On that subject, softie parenting is what made my flight nearly unbearable for me and the majority of the passengers. One child (who at first I thought was a baby whose parents forgot his pacifier but later realized it was a 5-year old kid) cried as loud as possible for several hours. His parents' shushing noises only made the disturbance worse.
Edited by why - 1/10/13 at 10:05am

Dragged maybe not, being lifted by the hair hurts like a .....


Its common courtesy, to reply when spoken to and it doesn't really matter if it's a 5 year old or an 80 year old.

Who says he didn't know the kid?

Are you purposely being obtuse?

And I have no idea what your first sentence is referring to.

I was referring to the guy who was talking to some kid in the metro.

Do you have children?


I'm one for trying to give other people a break when my twins are playing up but it is sometimes very hard to control...

I always try to minimize the impact of my little angels on others but when a child has lost it ,no hair pulling will make things better..

Last week ,my boy was running everywhere on the train and I had no choice to walk him up and down the aisles to calm him down/keep him quiet..

Some people might have found out that behaviour irritating and unacceptable ..

Below a certain age, there is really nothing you can do to keep a crying kid quiet. Certainly not yelling or discipline. That is just part of what comes with children being physically and emotionally not yet mature. The only thing you can do is remove them from the situation, which is not really an option on a plane or train (other than walking the aisles).

Corporal punishment works, but nobody does that anymore because if you do it you're an evil child-beating scumbag. Makes me wonder how people could generally be well-adjusted and well-behaved before the 1990s given all the screwed-up children parents and teachers must have been producing. Certainly now it's better, what with Gen-Y kids being so orderly and disciplined and all.

The thing is, the emotionally and intellectually-immature children are precisely the ones who are most disciplined by corporal punishment. Usually it only takes one time for the kid to realize 'hey, that's not a good idea and has consequences'. After that a certain look or tone is enough to get the child to realize enough is enough.

I remember fighting with my brother once at my uncle's house and thought since my parents were in the other room talking to my uncle I could get away with it. My aunt came in the room with a ruler and set us straight.

I don't have any comment but I thought of this:

i am comfortable with and am used to seeing physical punishment. four generations of my family have been raised with clear expectations of what swiftly happens if you show disrespect or push your elders too far. your little ruler example is what i used to get if i was a bit slow to do something i was supposed to. showing disrespect brought something 10 times worse (and honestly, was deserved and lessons were unforgettably learned)

with that context set, i am saying that i saw something that shocked even me. and it was clearly done without any regard to teaching the child a lesson (how could a toddler know what she did wrong in this particular situation? she didn't even wander off that far). the kid was in no danger (my engine was off and my wife was making little waves at the girl - there was no way i was running her over for fuck's sake). i believe that the mother simply snapped. hopefully it was a one-time moment of weakness that will never happen again - like i said when i finally pulled out i made eye contact with her and she did look shamefaced

again, i agree wholeheartedly that people shouldn't meddle in other people's parenting as a general rule. but what you seem to be implying here is that anything goes and one should never say anything. so where would you draw the line?

To all of you who believe that corporal punishment works, as an educational tool, I can tell you that you are completely wrong.

 

Yes, physically hurting othger individuals gets them to do what you want, but then you raise your kid based on fear of punishment and not with a respect for rules(those two are very different). 

If you want a child to follow your rules, then teach them to it and reinforce good behaviour with praise, and punish bad behaviour with words or them not being able to do something they like. Obviously, somtimes even those methods don't work, and then you just have to deal with the fact that you have "crazy" kid on your hands. Get the kid out of the situation,. or just live through it. It's painful, but that's part of being a parent. 

I work as a teacher, and a few clases have very young kids. Sometimes they have a fit or miss their parents(all very natural stuff). Without fail the Teachers assistents will stand in frot of them, yelling at them to stop crying. Does it ever work? No, not really. However, if I take the kid in my arms and talk to him/her calmly for about 30 seconds, the fit is usually over and the class can resume. 

 

Ifyour kid has sepparation angsiety, then that is something you have to deal with BEFORE you let the kid alone with the parent it doesn't want to be with. In fact, no matter what the issue, there is a non violent solution to it. Granted, there are a few extreme cases where violence is justified, but other than that, I firmly believe that if you ahve to use violence to raise your child, you failed as a parent. Just because it's easier to slap a child silent, does not mean we should do it. The problem is that many parents today don't take the time(and/or have the knowledge) to actually experiment and research and find out wehat works in their case.

 

On a related note, if violence is such a great educationl tool, why not use it on adults as well? Your staff isn't learning the new protocol fast enough? Give them 5 with the ruler. A subordinate mouthes off to you in front of everyone? Take out the belt, they'll definitively learn this way. 

 

As for the question how we had well behaved kids before the 30's, there are 2 answers. First of all, it's over 80 years ago so no one is actually alive to tell us how it really was(from an adults perspective) so I think MANY are seeing this through rose colored glasses, and secondly, kids where scared. Fear, combined with the need to conform are powerful motivators not to act out of line.

 

You can raise your kid any way you want, but if you abuse your kid, then I will tell you off, because that has nothing to do with parenting. That's abuse and not tolerable.  

You're a moron.

I don't think anything goes, but witnessing an isolated incident like the one you described isn't enough to take action and won't solve anything anyway. If the parent felt what he/she did was over the line they'll feel bad and likely won't do it in the future. If they don't, they'll probably just ignore you -- at the very least. And in general it's not a good idea to question a parent's authority in front of the child.

Plus, as I said, being dragged by the hair doesn't really hurt, especially if it's long hair.
Edited by why - 1/11/13 at 3:28am