Wedding Attire Budget: Buy versus Rent

Greetings,

I'm writing to inquire of your sage counsel for where best to spend my limited budget for my upcoming wedding.  The following spreadsheet is the starting point for the budget, but everything is certainly up for discussion.

Thanks all for the warm welcome, helpful replies and kind words. Let me address the few direct questions above and provide an update on the negotiations behind the scenes with regard to budget.

I believe it would be selfish of me to outspend or even equalize the bride.  She has been gracious and concise in her budget and I feel I must do the same.  She came up with the line item budget above and I feel it is a reasonable starting point and fairly represents what will end up spending in this category.

That said, I did build in 50% of the wedding band budget (or $1250) for myself. 

Given this boost to the budget, and imagining a small token ring for myself, brings the total for my attire to $1675.

I've presented my fiancee an elegant and classic engagement ring*.  She will be perfectly thrilled with what I can get for the other half of the ring budget, I'm sure.

As an aside, I built a regular $50 per month into my own personal budget for fashion.  Over six months, that adds an additional $300, or a grand total of $1975.

Those numbers should give you a feel, both initially on the ultra-low side, and now updated and expanded to the high side.  

There were also a few other points I'd like to comment on, and thank the poster for as well.

Awkward timing.  Yes, of course.  This timing issue is what brought me to the morning suit as an option in the first place.  In my case, I feel that either a black tie option or morning dress are the most appropriate choices.  Here's why.  The gown, as I'm told, is formal.  Again, I give my fiancee the deference she deserves and let her set the formality.  The ceremony will be outdoors in a formal garden while the reception will be indoors in an elegant drawing room.  Dinner will be plated and served by staff.  Champagne will be served.  There will be live music and the event will feature an open art gallery.  That puts us in the ultraformal to formal range as far as I understand.  I'm afraid white tie would seem far too pretentious to my guests and frankly it would be a difficult ensemble for me to pull off.  The guests have likely never seen white tie in real life. The party will end at 9PM.  

Wedding party and guests.  My best man is my brother, he hardly will have any expectation or ability to wear his own attire.  So true with the father of the groom.  The second groomsman is a toss up in that regard, I could ask, he is my fiancee's brother.  He has a military background and I suspect I can count on him the most of the three.  He asked if we were going with tuxedos when I asked him to be a groomsman and my answer was yes.  As for the other guests, I suspect a good portion of them would outdress the groomsman on any given Sunday. I toyed with the idea of a black tie event as invited outright. I'm sure I would find little support from my bride so I never brought it up.  I could probably convince a few of my friends to go black tie.  A sort of honor guard. Also, perhaps, some of my mother's friends.  These guests would only be in photographs for the evening portion of the event.  During the day, they will likely be reviewing fine art and sipping cocktails.  Fully appropriate black-tie activities even during the pre-6AM timeframe.  The ladies are another toss up.

So I believe the formality, venue, guest list and time of day likely brings us back to morning dress or black tie.  If I've misconstrued that element please do sound off.

I'm open to the idea of an attire change at 6PM.  It would require more coordination but would feel great.  I'm having the majority of my pictures taken before 6PM which allows me to use the morning suit in garden setting and amongst fine architecture, art and nature. The photos later in the evening would be more of the guests, the overall party, entertainment, and some dancing.  It would certainly be difficult for me to don a second outfit for dinner.  Not to mention, more expensive.  The dinner jacket pre-6PM seems somehow more gauche to me.  I could do it but it not without sacrificing some pleasant surprise for those who know me best. A "tux" is very much the normal expectation among all those I've polled in person thus far.

So, that should be enough new information to spark some more input, especially given I've increased the budget and crystallized my thinking on morning dress.

Your sage counsel is always appreciated.

* Note regarding the engagement ring.  If anyone needs help in this regard, I'm your huckleberry.  It's the least I could do for the help I've already received here.

Quote:

Originally Posted by unbelragazzo 

Thanks for the additional info. It does sound like your guests, ceremony, and venue call for additional formality. Certainly if some come in black tie, you shouldn't be in a lounge suit (as an aside, you can make it "black tie optional" which basically gives those who can the go-ahead to wear black tie, and lets others know to wear at least a suit and tie).
I do think it will be quite odd to sit down for dinner in morning dress, especially if others are in black tie. I realize you'll get pictures taken before and during the ceremony, and they'll get pictures taken later, but they'll also be at the ceremony. Presumably those wearing black tie will be wearing it for both ceremony and later events. To me wearing a tuxedo to the ceremony seems like by far the lesser of two evils. I assume the 4pm time for the ceremony is set in stone?

Thanks for your follow up.  I appreciate your take on this costume conundrum.

No, in fact, the ceremony time is not yet fixed.  Four PM was suggested by the venue coordinator.  I think that time lends itself well to allowing guests time to arrive without feeling rushed while still providing a good platform for a "late" evening party.  We face one other limitation on the timing as regards the music.  Because the venue is in a residential neighborhood, they have a "no amplified music after 10PM rule."  That to me signals the end of the evening, at least as far as that venue goes.  In my younger days that policy would have been a deal breaker.  Now, I'll take it as an excuse to move the party to more comfortable digs and winnow down the older crowd.  

Quote:

Originally Posted by comrade 


4 PM Outdoors in Monterey CA?
The Wedding Party may suffer from Hypothermia.
My daughter was married at about the same time on May 25th
in Carmel CA several years ago. The ceremony was overlooking the
ocean. Around 3:30PM the fog rolled in. The Bride and her Maids of Honor
froze in their bare shoulders, etc. The Party afterwards (inside) was a blast.
Note: I do not believe Morning Dress is appropriate after sundown.
That may be the reason why it's called Morning Dress. In November at 4 PM
Morning Dress would be a faux pas, incorrect. etc. If you like the look,
set the ceremony much earlier. It would indeed be sad if you are going
out on a limb to put the Wedding Party in Morning Dress when you
violate it's very purpose, not that anyone would know, except for Style
Forum members like like me whose brains are cluttered with such trivia.

Thanks for raising these issues. I certainly consulted the weather and fog possibilities as soon as we started looking for locations.

As you know, the area in question is well known for its microclimates.  

I'm told by several locals that fog is not an issue in November.  Fog is more a summer phenomenon along the coast.  

For November, temperatures range from an average low of 47F to an average high of 63F.  October is about 5 degrees warmer.

Sundown for that particular day would be at 6:08PM according to my research.

All seems okay to me and my midwestern sense of comfortable temperatures. Since moving to the area from Chicago ten years ago I've heard more complaining about weather from local Californians than any other group. To me, it's a paradise.  I'm thankful for any variety away from the 70 degrees and sunny we get nearly year round.