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The 27 Year Old Virgin - Page 40

post #586 of 633
12/26/12 at 7:51am
Quote:
Originally Posted by manchambo View Post

I can understand not being into a strict arranged marriage but I would want to know the details of how it would work. I am surprised at the level of distate, however, and I'm beginning to wonder if the op actually likes women.
I think it's more a judgement on what he thinks about Indian culture than a judgement on women.
Quote:
I don't mean that in a snarky, maybe he's gay way. I just haven't seen any indication here that the op has any sort of affinity, much less affection, for the opposite sex (or anyone else for that matter). At best I'm detecting indifference, at worst misogyny.

There's a strand of that independent of the arranged marriage thing. I think it's a defense mechanism.
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post #587 of 633
12/26/12 at 11:41am
Quote:
Originally Posted by GreenFrog View Post

Like I said.. he needs to do his own thing until shit hits the fan somehow and he realizes he HAS to change.
That major point of realization could come in 3 weeks/months/years.. whenever. It seems like for the most part, his life is 'stable' right now, it's just that he's lacking some social relationships and the spice of life. But I wouldn't be surprised to see that he's actually comfortable right now. This is why he doesn't seek out that change, because it's not really all that painful for him.
He'll know when it's time to sack the fuck up and do something.

I agree that change is only going to happen when he sacks up. I think where we're at discords is that this thread seemed to be him sacking up, at least when he started it. It takes a lot of balls to admit to yourself "I'm a virgin at 27 and have no idea how the fuck to talk to people, let alone women." Of course, it quickly fell to shit afterwards. So commitment to his pursuit of wanting relationships is what he's missing, and unfortunately that's nothing ANY of us can help him with. All we can do is, once he's committed, give him advice on what to do.
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post #588 of 633
12/26/12 at 3:36pm
Quote:
Originally Posted by deadly7 View Post


I agree that change is only going to happen when he sacks up. I think where we're at discords is that this thread seemed to be him sacking up, at least when he started it. It takes a lot of balls to admit to yourself "I'm a virgin at 27 and have no idea how the fuck to talk to people, let alone women." Of course, it quickly fell to shit afterwards. So commitment to his pursuit of wanting relationships is what he's missing, and unfortunately that's nothing ANY of us can help him with. All we can do is, once he's committed, give him advice on what to do.

This * 1000. Come on, OP. Man the fuck up.

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post #589 of 633
12/27/12 at 1:35pm
It's become increasingly clear to me that Amathew is saving himself for Blake Lively. It's the only logical assumption at this point.
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post #590 of 633
12/27/12 at 2:02pm
OP, I'll give you the STD.
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post #591 of 633
12/27/12 at 10:17pm
Quote:
Originally Posted by Master-Classter View Post

jeebus I just read this ENTIRE thread...
I don't even know what to say here. OP, it sounds like there is a lot of advice being given and you're always coming up with reasons why it isn't good. Assuming you're not trolling, something about your mental/emotional process is off IMO. I'll offer some advice but I suspect it's not going to stick unfortunately, and that in and of itself is a point you should really be looking at. Why is it that a lot of people have offered you a range of ideas and none of it has seemed to make any difference to the way you understand your situation or caused you to take action?
my 2 cents... yes, do actually read the Game or look into some PUA stuff. I don't mean wear a pink hat and go crazy but for people with low social competence, this stuff is really helpful and every time I've even just skimmed some of that stuff it's really helped me to just start talking to people (not just women) and have a couple of ideas of things to say or do or know if I'm on the right track etc.
the other big thing I'd suggest is forget about getting laid for now. It's like step 10 and you're not at step 2. Start by becoming someone people are going to want to hang out with. Go do social activities and build a friend network, particularly with guys. Being around socially competent guys will help buffer your incompetence as if they accept you/back you then you can be a little bad and they'll cover for you since you'll be in the overall positive flow forward they're creating. I've found that being around guys who know what they're doing, whether natural or learned (ie PUA), you'll just naturally start to see what DOES work instead of trying to figure it out yourself and continually messing up. Be around competent people and it'll both rub off on you and you'll also just get the halo effect benefits.
The other thing is to stop talking to women with the purpose in mind of building some intimate relationship with them. Start talking to people for the hell of it, start conversations that you know aren't going anywhere and even intentionally cut them off and walk away knowing you could have taken it somewhere. There's too much pressure to try and talk to someone and then try make her your girlfriend or have sex with her. Talk to a girl because it's fun and don't have any intention of it going anywhere. Set yourself random goals like buying her a drink, or dancing with her or just talking to a pretty girl because you want to, etc. Come home from a gathering happy that you gave her a high five and a wink when you said good night instead of disappointed that you didn't bring her home and have sex with her.
I agree with pretty much everything you just said, but it was a spectacular waste of keystrokes. He's not listening. He just wants advice he can say "isn't suitable in his case" so that he can justify the situation to himself on the grounds that at least he sought advice. Or he's trolling (pretty well).
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post #592 of 633
12/27/12 at 10:27pm
Quote:
Originally Posted by Master-Classter View Post

Warning: Spoiler! (Click to show)
jeebus I just read this ENTIRE thread...
I don't even know what to say here. OP, it sounds like there is a lot of advice being given and you're always coming up with reasons why it isn't good. Assuming you're not trolling, something about your mental/emotional process is off IMO. I'll offer some advice but I suspect it's not going to stick unfortunately, and that in and of itself is a point you should really be looking at. Why is it that a lot of people have offered you a range of ideas and none of it has seemed to make any difference to the way you understand your situation or caused you to take action?
my 2 cents... yes, do actually read the Game or look into some PUA stuff. I don't mean wear a pink hat and go crazy but for people with low social competence, this stuff is really helpful and every time I've even just skimmed some of that stuff it's really helped me to just start talking to people (not just women) and have a couple of ideas of things to say or do or know if I'm on the right track etc.
the other big thing I'd suggest is forget about getting laid for now. It's like step 10 and you're not at step 2. Start by becoming someone people are going to want to hang out with. Go do social activities and build a friend network, particularly with guys. Being around socially competent guys will help buffer your incompetence as if they accept you/back you then you can be a little bad and they'll cover for you since you'll be in the overall positive flow forward they're creating. I've found that being around guys who know what they're doing, whether natural or learned (ie PUA), you'll just naturally start to see what DOES work instead of trying to figure it out yourself and continually messing up. Be around competent people and it'll both rub off on you and you'll also just get the halo effect benefits.
The other thing is to stop talking to women with the purpose in mind of building some intimate relationship with them. Start talking to people for the hell of it, start conversations that you know aren't going anywhere and even intentionally cut them off and walk away knowing you could have taken it somewhere. There's too much pressure to try and talk to someone and then try make her your girlfriend or have sex with her. Talk to a girl because it's fun and don't have any intention of it going anywhere. Set yourself random goals like buying her a drink, or dancing with her or just talking to a pretty girl because you want to, etc. Come home from a gathering happy that you gave her a high five and a wink when you said good night instead of disappointed that you didn't bring her home and have sex with her
.
Jesus, you read all 40 pages THEN wrote this? I couldn't even finish reading this without watching a episode of the trailer park boys on youtube.
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post #593 of 633
12/28/12 at 6:10am
Go for the arranged marriage.
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post #594 of 633
12/29/12 at 8:32pm
on my computer is was only 10 pages... and I've got time on my hands.
Warning: Spoiler! (Click to show)
actually I don't expect much from the OP, I wrote a comment for the sake of future members who might stumble upon this thread and actually find some of it useful.
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post #595 of 633
12/30/12 at 4:47am

This thread is fucking quality. Impolyt one was quality the entire time and I'm consdering hiring him as life coach.

 

Anyone berating people for being frustrated at someone who wants change without changing is a little silly.

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post #596 of 633
1/2/13 at 12:04am
Quote:
Originally Posted by SkinnyGoomba View Post

Go for the arranged marriage.

+1
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post #597 of 633
1/6/13 at 5:16pm

I didn't read this whole thread, it's long as hell.  It's been a year now, is he still a virgin?
 

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post #598 of 633
1/6/13 at 5:30pm
Yes.
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post #599 of 633
1/6/13 at 6:24pm

If he is desperate, why not just go to some clubs and ask 10 women for their numbers?
 

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post #600 of 633
1/7/13 at 10:53am
Quote:
Originally Posted by LooksGood View Post

If he is desperate, why not just go to some clubs and ask 10 women for their numbers?
 

Because he cannot talk to women, and he refuses to go out there and do anything about it. He is quite the keyboard warrior though.

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