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The 27 Year Old Virgin - Page 39

post #571 of 666
She would have to be a 10 and have good personality though.
post #572 of 666
Thread Starter 

So I went to visit my parents for Christmas and they are now pushing me to get an arranged marriage.

 

And I can tell you there is absolutely NO WAY IN HELL I will ever get an arranged marriage. Fuck that, I'd rater be a 40 year old virgin than get an arranged marriage to some random bitch in India. I'll commit suicide before that happens.

 

Damn, I really fucking hate Indian culture.

post #573 of 666
^ What if she was a 10 and had a good personality?
post #574 of 666
Quote:
Originally Posted by amathew View Post

 some random bitch in India

 

 

Don't call girls bitches...may be a good start; also be who you want to be and behave with manners...most of all go talk to some girls.

post #575 of 666
Quote:
Originally Posted by amathew View Post

So I went to visit my parents for Christmas and they are now pushing me to get an arranged marriage.

And I can tell you there is absolutely NO WAY IN HELL I will ever get an arranged marriage. Fuck that, I'd rater be a 40 year old virgin than get an arranged marriage to some random bitch in India. I'll commit suicide before that happens.

Damn, I really fucking hate Indian culture.

Shit, I think that it's awesome you have that option. I mean some guys will die virgins and probably wish they had that option. And why does she have to be from India. Can't you get an aranged marriage to an American indian chick?
post #576 of 666
Okay, so let's recap. OP has still not been deflowered and feels like his social skills aren't up to par. He's 27 and from what we've seen doing nothing about it. But the thought of getting married (which may not happen in his current state mind you) is repulsive to him, but would fix all of his problems (intimacy issues stem from lack of social experience I assume. Living with a woman for an extended period of time would probably change that. Not to mention the sex).

Anyone else see the problem with this? I'm not trying to vilify OP's life decisions, as they are exactly that, his, but what exactly is OP's grand master plan for your life? Does he ever want to be in a relationship, maybe get married and have kid(s)? Or is that simply something he doesn't find appealing in life? Just want a couple flings and then do your own thing?

Just like anything else in life, this is something you may need to work towards, plan towards, and do what you can to be better at. Do your homework, practice, and eventually you'll either meet someone at a bar that's trying to get plowed or someone that you'll actually want to spend real time with.
post #577 of 666
Quote:
Originally Posted by amathew View Post

So I went to visit my parents for Christmas and they are now pushing me to get an arranged marriage.

And I can tell you there is absolutely NO WAY IN HELL I will ever get an arranged marriage. Fuck that, I'd rater be a 40 year old virgin than get an arranged marriage to some random bitch in India. I'll commit suicide before that happens.

Damn, I really fucking hate Indian culture.

wow you're stupid. how do you feel about dying a virgin? that's what's going to happen at this rate, no joke.
post #578 of 666
Everyone calm the fuck down. Dude doesn't want to have an arranged marriage -- that's perfectly sane, reasonable, and rational of a response from someone who comes from a culture where arranged marriages are still acceptable, despite his being a virgin at age 27.

To be perfectly honest, OP, you're not going to get any motivation to change your life from this thread. You need a major life event stressor that kicks your ass into gear. It's going to suck, but that's exactly what you need at this point in your life.

This thread is not that catalyst and you're only getting hateful, useless responses at this point.

Don't even bother checking in on it or giving updates. Do your own thing.
post #579 of 666
Quote:
Originally Posted by amathew View Post

So I went to visit my parents for Christmas and they are now pushing me to get an arranged marriage.

And I can tell you there is absolutely NO WAY IN HELL I will ever get an arranged marriage. Fuck that, I'd rater be a 40 year old virgin than get an arranged marriage to some random bitch in India. I'll commit suicide before that happens.

Damn, I really fucking hate Indian culture.


For some reason you remind me of Raj from Big Bang Theory. smile.gif
post #580 of 666
Quote:
Originally Posted by GreenFrog View Post

Everyone calm the fuck down. Dude doesn't want to have an arranged marriage -- that's perfectly sane, reasonable, and rational of a response from someone who comes from a culture where arranged marriages are still acceptable, despite his being a virgin at age 27.
To be perfectly honest, OP, you're not going to get any motivation to change your life from this thread. You need a major life event stressor that kicks your ass into gear. It's going to suck, but that's exactly what you need at this point in your life.
This thread is not that catalyst and you're only getting hateful, useless responses at this point.
Don't even bother checking in on it or giving updates. Do your own thing.

There are many levels of arranged marriage. In many modern versions, the parents introduce the two and see if they are remotely into each other. Seeing as to how amathew's runner-up option to that is turning on pornhub, breaking out the lotion and tissues, all the while going "I'm too busy and smart to meet women in places many women congregate (social groups, clubs, bars, lounges, art functions, parks, ... the rest of the world), fuck this I need to get rich so the bitches love me", he really should have no qualms about being introduced. Lord knows he won't be meeting any girls that would actually talk to him, much less be sexually interested in him, with what he's currently doing.

also lol @ last line. His "own thing" has failed at forming even base relationships in the last 28 years.
post #581 of 666
Like I said.. he needs to do his own thing until shit hits the fan somehow and he realizes he HAS to change.

That major point of realization could come in 3 weeks/months/years.. whenever. It seems like for the most part, his life is 'stable' right now, it's just that he's lacking some social relationships and the spice of life. But I wouldn't be surprised to see that he's actually comfortable right now. This is why he doesn't seek out that change, because it's not really all that painful for him.

He'll know when it's time to sack the fuck up and do something.
post #582 of 666
I can understand not being into a strict arranged marriage but I would want to know the details of how it would work. I am surprised at the level of distate, however, and I'm beginning to wonder if the op actually likes women. I don't mean that in a snarky, maybe he's gay way. I just haven't seen any indication here that the op has any sort of affinity, much less affection, for the opposite sex (or anyone else for that matter). At best I'm detecting indifference, at worst misogyny.
post #583 of 666
I don't know how it works now, but my parents are Indian, like they were born and raised and married there before they came to the US, and they had an arranged marriage. Had kids late, so maybe it isn't the "typical" example, but after 30+ years though they seem like every other married couple. I think they were married for like 10 or so years before I was born (I'm the younger child, my older sibling is 21 months older than me), but always seemed like a normal relationship to me.

I bet it's pretty awkward at first though; imagine living with someone you barely know for conceivably the rest of your life. Not just from a sexual matter, but like it's basically living with a stranger before you actually get to know them, which will take years like any other relationship. Seems logistically strange to be sharing a checking account (and a mortgage) with someone you met months before.
post #584 of 666
Quote:
Originally Posted by jrd617 View Post

^ What if she was a 10 and had a good personality?

Here's the sick thing: I bet a girl from India who shows up for an arranged marriage (to an Indian-American) would be really high quality, all things in spades, probably leagues above any woman amathew could meet in America and have a chance to talk to. That's how those things tend to work tbh. She'd forgive amathew a lot of the small shortcomings while being more than he could ever ask for if he ever did get off his ass and try to play the dating game in America. It's a pretty good idea, but the problem is, amathew isn't ready for marriage. You can't just get mail order girlfriends either, so that's not gonna work out....
post #585 of 666
jeebus I just read this ENTIRE thread...

I don't even know what to say here. OP, it sounds like there is a lot of advice being given and you're always coming up with reasons why it isn't good. Assuming you're not trolling, something about your mental/emotional process is off IMO. I'll offer some advice but I suspect it's not going to stick unfortunately, and that in and of itself is a point you should really be looking at. Why is it that a lot of people have offered you a range of ideas and none of it has seemed to make any difference to the way you understand your situation or caused you to take action?

my 2 cents... yes, do actually read the Game or look into some PUA stuff. I don't mean wear a pink hat and go crazy but for people with low social competence, this stuff is really helpful and every time I've even just skimmed some of that stuff it's really helped me to just start talking to people (not just women) and have a couple of ideas of things to say or do or know if I'm on the right track etc.

the other big thing I'd suggest is forget about getting laid for now. It's like step 10 and you're not at step 2. Start by becoming someone people are going to want to hang out with. Go do social activities and build a friend network, particularly with guys. Being around socially competent guys will help buffer your incompetence as if they accept you/back you then you can be a little bad and they'll cover for you since you'll be in the overall positive flow forward they're creating. I've found that being around guys who know what they're doing, whether natural or learned (ie PUA), you'll just naturally start to see what DOES work instead of trying to figure it out yourself and continually messing up. Be around competent people and it'll both rub off on you and you'll also just get the halo effect benefits.

The other thing is to stop talking to women with the purpose in mind of building some intimate relationship with them. Start talking to people for the hell of it, start conversations that you know aren't going anywhere and even intentionally cut them off and walk away knowing you could have taken it somewhere. There's too much pressure to try and talk to someone and then try make her your girlfriend or have sex with her. Talk to a girl because it's fun and don't have any intention of it going anywhere. Set yourself random goals like buying her a drink, or dancing with her or just talking to a pretty girl because you want to, etc. Come home from a gathering happy that you gave her a high five and a wink when you said good night instead of disappointed that you didn't bring her home and have sex with her.
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