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The 27 Year Old Virgin - Page 24

post #346 of 662
Thread Starter 
Quote:
Originally Posted by CalTex View Post


how do you answer the "why are you single" question?
I usually say, "oh well I am focused on my carrer and I would not consider it fair to become involved with someone that I could not make a priority and give them the time they deserve ATM." Usually I get, AWWWs from the girls in attendance.

I think I have family that thinks I am gay because of how I dress plain.gif

 

To my cousins, I usually tell them that I'm not involved in a serious relationship at the moment. It's partially true, but I use this line because I don't want the world to know I'm a complete social retard, though most know that I am very socially inept.

 

To the adults, who expect me to get an arranged marriage, I tell them that I'm not seeing anyone. This is true, but I would tell them this line even if I was seeing someone.

 

So far, our extended family has had 4 male cousins who've married white women, and now the single ones get a lot of the heat about not engaging in inter-racial relationships and why we should marry only other Indians. I heard it over and over this weekend about how I needed to find an Indian woman. 

 

 

 

This was the first time most people in the family had seen me since I really go into men's fashion, and no one questioned my sexuality. Of course, one of my female cousins asked me if I knew anything about female fashion (which I don't), and I was telling her how I will occasionally pick up an issue of Vogue to check out what's going on in that world, and I noticed some weird glances and smirks toward me from others who were standing nearby. It doesn't matter to me. I read the Sept fall fashion issue of Vogue (all 900+ pages of it) and I'm still 100% straight. 


Edited by amathew - 8/27/12 at 4:30pm
post #347 of 662
As a former "later in life" virgin myself (lost it recently, also in my mid-20s) - let me give you the best, most concrete advice you're going to get.

Stop watching porn.

I'll make the assumption that you, like 99% of males our age consume a fair amount of internet pornography. It's essentially a cheap high with the side effect of sharply increasing social anxiety and completely draining your body of that "killer instinct" a man needs to fuck, procreate or whatever you want to call it. Frequent internet porn + masturbation is a deadly combination.

I'm not a religious nutjob or moralist either. I simply couldn't figure out why I was still a virgin, saw the TED talk on pornography addiction, and looked myself in the mirror. Stopped watching porn and got laid less than 2 months later.
post #348 of 662
Quote:
Originally Posted by CalTex View Post

how do you answer the "why are you single" question?
I usually say, "oh well I am focused on my carrer and I would not consider it fair to become involved with someone that I could not make a priority and give them the time they deserve ATM." Usually I get, AWWWs from the girls in attendance.
I think I have family that thinks I am gay because of how I dress plain.gif

The curse of a SF member.
post #349 of 662
Quote:
Originally Posted by JG000 View Post

As a former "later in life" virgin myself (lost it recently, also in my mid-20s) - let me give you the best, most concrete advice you're going to get.
Stop watching porn.
I'll make the assumption that you, like 99% of males our age consume a fair amount of internet pornography. It's essentially a cheap high with the side effect of sharply increasing social anxiety and completely draining your body of that "killer instinct" a man needs to fuck, procreate or whatever you want to call it. Frequent internet porn + masturbation is a deadly combination.
I'm not a religious nutjob or moralist either. I simply couldn't figure out why I was still a virgin, saw the TED talk on pornography addiction, and looked myself in the mirror. Stopped watching porn and got laid less than 2 months later.

How did that help you meet a girl and get laid? I'm not addicted to porn by any means, but like most guys in their 20s who aren't getting laid very frequently, porn has helped me stay sane. I'm pretty sure I'd go on a blue ball rampage without the occasional fap session.
post #350 of 662
Quote:
Originally Posted by Texastyle View Post

How did that help you meet a girl and get laid? I'm not addicted to porn by any means, but like most guys in their 20s who aren't getting laid very frequently, porn has helped me stay sane. I'm pretty sure I'd go on a blue ball rampage without the occasional fap session.

Masturbation isn't the major issue for me. It's porn.

Long story short: There was no reason for me to want to have sex when I had thousands of beautiful naked women at my finger tips. Sure I fantasized about meeting women and having sex; but every night I ended up back in my comfort zone with a laptop full of Brazzers videos. This hurt me in more ways than one, being a virgin I had no idea what sex really was - only what pornography had "taught me". A later-in-life virgin living in the hypersexual world of porn lead to immense social and sexual anxiety.

So when I quit porn (again, I did not stop masturbating all together - "the occasional fap session" is fine) - over time I became much more comfortable with my body, confident, disciplined and most importantly, willing to talk to women because I had no visual stimulation to fall back on.

If you already have an active sex life porn probably won't affect you that much. However, a later-in-life virgin such as OP (and formerly myself) should greatly examine their porn viewing habits ASAP. Websites such as yourbrainonporn.com explain it in much further detail, I just gave you the cliff note's version.
post #351 of 662
Someone needs to write their dissertation on this thread. :S
post #352 of 662
a man can balance his porn and masturbation with the accompanying amount of sex with human females. Porn addiction is only as much an excuse as 'addiction' to weed or other cop-out emotional props. Denial is sweet when serving it up to others, but that first taste on your own is very bitter.
post #353 of 662
Quote:
Originally Posted by impolyt_one View Post

a man can balance his porn and masturbation with the accompanying amount of sex with human females. Porn addiction is only as much an excuse as 'addiction' to weed or other cop-out emotional props.

Easier said than done. And when the balance isn't there, it becomes an issue.

Quite frankly, these type of situations are far more complicated than you are making them out to be. Read the literature on YourBrainonPorn.com or watch the TED talks. Frequent porn + masturbation actually rewires the brain (namely the dopamine receptors therein) away from natural, healthy sex. At the same time it increases depression, social anxiety, mood swings and erectile dysfunction symptoms. Both scientific and anecdotal evidence have proved this.

Let me clarify it's not just regular pornography, but rather the explosion of internet porn that's caused this phenomenon. Take it from somebody who has experienced it firsthand (no pun intended).
post #354 of 662
OP, are you 27 yet? When you are, please change the title of this thread. Thanks.
post #355 of 662
Quote:
Originally Posted by JG000 View Post

Long story short: There was no reason for me to want to have sex when I had thousands of beautiful naked women at my finger tips. .

this made me lol
post #356 of 662
Quote:
Originally Posted by JG000 View Post

Easier said than done. And when the balance isn't there, it becomes an issue.
Quite frankly, these type of situations are far more complicated than you are making them out to be. Read the literature on YourBrainonPorn.com or watch the TED talks. Frequent porn + masturbation actually rewires the brain (namely the dopamine receptors therein) away from natural, healthy sex. At the same time it increases depression, social anxiety, mood swings and erectile dysfunction symptoms. Both scientific and anecdotal evidence have proved this.
Let me clarify it's not just regular pornography, but rather the explosion of internet porn that's caused this phenomenon. Take it from somebody who has experienced it firsthand (no pun intended).

yeah, and if you just fuck a bitch or two, you will not be relying on scientific evidence to state your claim otherwise. There are some things you step up to in life, and one of these things does not require your own dick in your hand as an excuse.
post #357 of 662

Yeah, using a TED talk and a site with a stated agenda as evidence is dubious at best.  Especially since OP's problem is very clearly that he's nervous around people and hasn't made a lot of friendships.  

post #358 of 662
I am surprised there hasn't been any rape jokes in this thread.
post #359 of 662
Thread Starter 
Quote:
Originally Posted by patrickBOOTH View Post

OP, are you 27 yet? When you are, please change the title of this thread. Thanks.

 

2 more months...

post #360 of 662
Time to get cracking. I see by your handle that you like black chicks, too bad you're in Colorado one of the whitest states out there because there are lots of lonely black chicks due to black men dating white women, not being professionals, going to jail, etc.
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