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The 27 Year Old Virgin - Page 2

post #16 of 666
Quote:
Originally Posted by cptjeff View Post

Actually, I might recommend this. The first time is rarely magical. True, you can only do it once, but at this point, just get it over with. Have one somewhat awkward relationship behind you, but have something to build on. Give yourself a little self confidence.

this or start the dating or trying to date, but in the mean while get a hooker, this is going to sound douche but something is weird about a virgin at that age, that is probably why you are giving off the creeper vibe.
post #17 of 666
Quote:
Originally Posted by amathew View Post

Hey folks, I am new to the forum. I am 26 years old Indian American male who recently finished grad school, started a job as a statistician at a start-up, and got interested in fashion. I have never dated in my life. never kissed a girl. and never asked someone of their opposite sex for their number. I wouldn't say that I'm socially inept since I am capable of interacting with people, it's just that I don't attract women. On several occasions, I've heard women say that I was unattractive and have been called a creeper. Over the past few weeks, I've been feeling really lonely and want to change. It's not that I want to have random sex with lots of women, I just want to meet a few good women and do a little dating. Can anyone provide some suggestions?

 

Things I've changed over the past few months =

- Updated my wardrobe.

 

Things I need to work on =

- I need to not look angry all the time

- I need to start hanging out at places where I can meet women. These days, my day consists of waking up at 4am, hitting the gym, going to work, going home and doing various things at home. I work with almost all men and just don't have any "normal" situations during the day where I interact with women.

- I need to work on self confidence. I used to be obese and have the same self image I did then even though I now have an athletic physique.

 

So if you have any suggestions or helpful advice, let me know?

I know our society tends to glorify sex and crucify anyone who chooses to abstain from or has not yet had it, but you can't let that bother you. Saying you want to meet a women because your lonely is one thing. Just wanting to get laid is another.  If you don't just want sex why include the fact that your a virgin in the thread title. Why does that mean anything? Who gives a damn if your a virgin? Do you think losing your virginity will quench your thirst for companionship? It won't..... I'm a virgin as well and am choosing to remain one until I tie the knot. I'm sure that will get alot of laughs, but I could care less. Don't worry about social norms or expectations. Live free from all that. It makes life so much more enjoyable.

 

On another note I can relate to you a lot. Especially with the confidence and "looking angry" bit. I was very overweight when I was young, and like you, ended up getting in shape. My confidence did not follow suit however and I became incredibly uneasy around anyone. I was a complete hermit during my high school years. Too be honest I still struggle with it at times, but not nearly as bad as I used too. The only way to get over it is to force yourself into uncomfortable situations. Act like an idiot, do stupid shit, loosen up... I forced myself to take a drama class at school, fell in love with it, and now I am pursuing an acting career. That did it for me. Changed my life. 

 

The looking angry bit is tough. I would always have people give me shit over looking like I wanted to kill myself or someone else 24/7. I still hear it quite a bit lol. I always thought it was my personality, in which case that's fine. I came to realize though it was just a defense mechanism I had created. It kept people away from me and made me feel safe (not having to talk to anyone). Once I got over my social fears and confidence issues, that seemed to resolve itself.

 

Just some thoughts. Hopefully some of it helps.  

post #18 of 666
PM conne
post #19 of 666
Thread Starter 

I guess I should clarify and/or respond to some of the posts

Quote:
Originally Posted by Superfluous Man View Post

He's got a handful of photos in his profile, nothing too grotesque but being of Indian ethnicity makes thing a little more difficult in my opinion.
The problem is it's really, really tough to develop a social network out of college.

 

It's odd, but I've found being Indian not that big of a hindrance. Because most American think of Indians as either nerdy doctors or convenience store owners, anyone who doesn't fit that stereotype seems to be intriguing to women. Plus, I'm in an area with few indians, so some women might be interested when they see someone who isn't a non-stereotypical indian.

 

Tell me about it. I graduated college and moved to another city (denver). It's tough. It doesn't help that I work at a tech company with almost all nerdy guys.

 

 

 

Quote:
Originally Posted by Pennglock View Post

In the meantime, why not try out the online dating sites? You might not find your soul-mate, but you'll get some practice projecting the best you to the opposite sex.
In general, just try to stay busy doing something outside your home most nights of the week and good things will follow.

 

I've tried online dating and found that most of the women on the free dating sites like POF and OKC were crazy. I didn't get many responses when I messaged women, but the ones I talked to weren't all that great. I've heard that paid sites are better, but I really don't want to pay for online dating.

post #20 of 666
Quote:
Originally Posted by 1234 View Post

I know our society tends to glorify sex and crucify anyone who chooses to abstain from or has not yet had it, but you can't let that bother you. Saying you want to meet a women because your lonely is one thing. Just wanting to get laid is another.  If you don't just want sex why include the fact that your a virgin in the thread title. Why does that mean anything? Who gives a damn if your a virgin? Do you think losing your virginity will quench your thirst for companionship? It won't..... I'm a virgin as well and am choosing to remain one until I tie the knot. I'm sure that will get alot of laughs, but I could care less. Don't worry about social norms or expectations. Live free from all that. It makes life so much more enjoyable.

 
are you not just changing one social norm for another one be it slightly an archaic one.
and even when that was the supposed ideal social norm, it was not the practical social norm.
post #21 of 666
Join Meetup.com and go to events. Don't go to meet chicks, go to meet people and learn how to socialize with the opposite sex. Many women even if they don't find you attractive if they are around you enough will come to see your best parts and that is the most natural way to meet women. There are lots of fun things to do in those groups like: kickball, going to shows, cookouts, you name it. But you have to put effort into it. As you've found in your career choice you aren't going to be around enough women to "just let it happen", you're going to have to work at it.
post #22 of 666
I second focusing on widening your social network. You will meet more people and by extension more women. Make friends and learn how to talk to them without any attempts to ask them out. You widen your social network (maybe make some female friends) and you will have more opportunities to meet women.
post #23 of 666
lurker[1].gif
post #24 of 666
buy a huge sack of coke and put yourself in a party situation. Since you're in Denver and the Nuggets season is over you're home free. Attractive women will flock to you and you will use this as if you were bartering for the last resources on earth.
post #25 of 666
Quote:
Originally Posted by impolyt_one View Post

buy a huge sack of coke and put yourself in a party situation. Since you're in Denver and the Nuggets season is over you're home free. Attractive women will flock to you and you will use this as if you were bartering for the last resources on earth.

or just try men.....
post #26 of 666
without putting too fine a point on it, you won't meet a ton of hot chicks on styleforum...smile.gif
post #27 of 666
Three words: Lower. Your. Standards.
post #28 of 666
Quote:
Originally Posted by de Seingalt View Post

without putting too fine a point on it, you won't meet a ton of hot chicks on styleforum...smile.gif

Apparently you haven't seen Brad-T inlove.gif
post #29 of 666
Quote:
Originally Posted by impolyt_one View Post

buy a huge sack of coke and put yourself in a party situation. Since you're in Denver and the Nuggets season is over you're home free. Attractive women will flock to you and you will use this as if you were bartering for the last resources on earth.
pretty sure-fire recipe, maybe the surest of all in the thread.
post #30 of 666
Quote:
Originally Posted by Trompe le Monde View Post

pretty sure-fire recipe, maybe the surest of all in the thread.

still a 3 way with 2 hookers would be cheaper
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