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Things that are pissing you off. - Page 3949

post #59221 of 70113
Quote:
Originally Posted by lawyerdad View Post

Now you tell me. I got married at 27, which probably explains everything.

A lot worse things can happen to you at 27. Just ask Bruce or Brandon Lee, Jim Morrison, Kurt Cobain....
post #59222 of 70113
Quote:
Originally Posted by MrG View Post

I got married at 24, and my wife was 23. We're happily married, and we've had the benefit of growing together, rather than apart. That said, we've talked a lot about how we'll advise our children when they get older, and the conclusion is currently, "wait until you're at least on the other side of 25."

We know our planned advice sounds funny, since it's obviously not what we did, but, based upon what we've seen among our friends who got married before 25, we'd be remiss if we told our kids we think it's a good idea. Offhand, I can think of half a dozen couples I know who got married pre-25, and only two (including us) are still together. The stats bear out our anecdotal observations, too, since getting married before 25 is one of the factors that's often cited as a "risk factor" for divorce.

I'm currently in the 28-35 range, and thus so are many of my friends, but it does seem to be the sweet spot so far.

That all being the case, I really can't argue that it's wise to get married young(ish). Some folks will make it work, but the odds just don't favor it at all.

I was 27 and my wife was 25, working so far. It's been a little tense with some career stuff, but I don't think I'd have been any happier not being married for these five years. It certainly made this particular relationship more likely to survive going through the stuff we did.

I see some of my friends hitting 30 and being single and really wracking themselves over it (the women, mostly). The level of angst and self-doubt they're going through is a whole lot worse than any questions my married friends have about slightly compromising their careers for their relationships.

I think everybody's life has a different meter to it, the numbers only mean so much. Nothing magic happens at 25 or 30. I always tell people that they should be out on their own for awhile, have some kind of career established, and get a good idea that their core values aren't likely to be changing. Nothing kills a relationship worse than one partner flipping their decision on religion or kids. Nobody is really there before their early 20s, some not until well past 30.
post #59223 of 70113
Quote:
Originally Posted by Neo_Version 7 View Post

I'm probably going to end up getting an arranged marriage.

I'm sure your parents will find you a nice, wealthy older man and that you will grow to love him in time and bear him many children.
post #59224 of 70113
Quote:
Originally Posted by Connemara View Post

Neo and I can become roommates. Eccentric old spinsters are awesome.

Quote:
Originally Posted by imatlas View Post

You can be one of those sweet old lesbian couples who think they have everyone fooled.



hai conne & neo!
post #59225 of 70113
this cold weather is pissing me off mad.gif
post #59226 of 70113
Quote:
Originally Posted by jet View Post

this cold weather is pissing me off mad.gif

A month ago it was too warm.
Edited by Find Finn - 2/4/14 at 1:57am
post #59227 of 70113
Quote:
Originally Posted by Find Finn View Post

I month ago it was too warm.

It is never too warm for me in winter.
post #59228 of 70113
Quote:
Originally Posted by lasbar View Post


It is never too warm for me in winter.

It's only too warm here, if you are wearing too much clothes.
post #59229 of 70113
Quote:
Originally Posted by Gibonius View Post

I was 27 and my wife was 25, working so far. It's been a little tense with some career stuff, but I don't think I'd have been any happier not being married for these five years. It certainly made this particular relationship more likely to survive going through the stuff we did.

I see some of my friends hitting 30 and being single and really wracking themselves over it (the women, mostly). The level of angst and self-doubt they're going through is a whole lot worse than any questions my married friends have about slightly compromising their careers for their relationships.

I think everybody's life has a different meter to it, the numbers only mean so much. Nothing magic happens at 25 or 30. I always tell people that they should be out on their own for awhile, have some kind of career established, and get a good idea that their core values aren't likely to be changing. Nothing kills a relationship worse than one partner flipping their decision on religion or kids. Nobody is really there before their early 20s, some not until well past 30.

Yeah, the biggest challenge we've encountered so far was moving to Athens for grad school, which was effectively the same as a career move. That got really bumpy for awhile, but it was, I think, good for us in the long run.

I haven't seen much of the worry as people turn 30, though a lot of my friends got married (or were in a very serious relationship) just before 30, so it makes sense it wouldn't have happened with my friends.

I agree that there's nothing magic about a given age, but it's a useful proxy, since it's so hard to define "ready." I honestly don't know that we were ready, but we shared the belief that once you do it, marriage is permanent aside from a pretty narrow set of deal breakers. I think truly buying into that idea got us through a lot of the stuff that destroyed friends' marriages. Well, that and the fact that neither one of us turned out to be a complete asshat (which was the killer in at least one or two cases).
post #59230 of 70113
MrG, your wife doesn't mind when you engage in dat infidelity at SF meat-ups?
post #59231 of 70113
MrG has the right of it there. Thirty is not a magical age but rather just a proxy for an average time most people have completed certain life tasks. If you all remember when I made my first comment I specified "professional" people too. Having grown up where I did I realize other classes of people usually complete these life tasks at an earlier age. I quoted a Springsteen song recently and that sums up life for many people too.
post #59232 of 70113
I am 41 not married yet, heck I ain't even got a Valentimes. But I am kicking ass at life tasks!
post #59233 of 70113
Quote:
Originally Posted by L'Incandescent View Post

I am 41 not married yet, heck I ain't even got a Valentimes. But I am kicking ass at life tasks!

I don't have a Valentimes either.





shog[1].gif
post #59234 of 70113
Quote:
Originally Posted by GreenFrog View Post

MrG, your wife doesn't mind when you engage in dat infidelity at SF meat-ups?

I'm not Stitch, GF. Don't talk to me as if I am.
post #59235 of 70113

^Classic suppression of latent homosexuality.

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