Things That Are Bothering You, Got You All Hibbeldy-Jibbeldy, or just downright pissed, RIGHT NOW!

Piobaire said:

GreenFrog said:

yjeezle said:

what kind of stress?

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God it's so ******* complicated I don't even know how to describe the situation on here. It would require my having to write a novel to describe the entire situation.

I think I need to talk to a therapist or something because this is eating away at me like a motherfucker and there is literally no one in my group I can talk to to seek advice. I'm at a dead end.

I'm going to go get drunk at the airport while I wait for my ******* red-eye flight.

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GF, again, welcome to adulthood. It doesn't stop unitl you retire or get low stress job...which usually comes with low pay. What you need to do is learn to compartmentalize things. When I made my move into my first c-suite level position I don't think I slept for a month and my guts got bound up like river of cement. Having a big job comes with big problems. You just have to learn to keep things distinct and learn to turn work off. I'm not saying it's easy, that it doesn't take some practice, and that you'll ever be 100% successful at it but I can tell you I can go home after a ****** 12 hour day and have a nice quiet chat with my wife vs. what I know some people do which is to take out their work stress on loved ones. Not good.

I always use the AA serenity prayer as a way to express this to new manangers or people having problems coping:

Grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, Courage to change the things I can, and the wisdom to know the difference.

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It really works.

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i'm not that much older than you but i know what you're going through... i experienced it myself... i try to kick back now and kinda relax a little bit...

i used to be a real workaholic last year, but i learned to shut everything off once i got home (in the past few months)... it'll happen sooner or later...

**** man... i think i'm in love with those chicks who pour you drinks at the bar.. (not the bartender)... we had visitors from a foreign land these past few weeks... and everyday has been drink after drink (on the company dime of course)... and now my "partner"(female) has thoroughly seduced me...

also, my dept. head blocked my transfer into the "consulting" division of my company, citing not enough manpower... (this year we've had 34 voluntary resignations)

Still same professor.

I explained that had I written the paper she'd told me to before I signed up for the course, I would have been fine.

I said that two weeks to write a paper this in depth (especially after I spent the first week writing a paper on a topic she turned down) was too short a time, and that with my work schedule being at 55 hours and my other finals, there was no way I could get it done by noon tomorrow, especially as I have to finish cleaning out my car so they can scrap it.

Her response? "give me what you have"

I tell her I have quotes and bullet notes, and a vague ephemeral concept more than a thesis, that looks like gibberish to anyone but me.

Her response? Well I don't feel comfortable just handing out extensions.

******* ****.

Professors usually hate it when you suggest that other stuff is more important than their class. Basic assumption is that your job is to not overschedule yourself, it's not their job to adapt to your schedule. It's not necessarily fair, but life is like that, as it seems you keep finding out

Kind of bitchy to turn down your topic given that short a deadline though...



Gibonius said:

Professors usually hate it when you suggest that other stuff is more important than their class. Basic assumption is that your job is to not overschedule yourself, it's not their job to adapt to your schedule. It's not necessarily fair, but life is like that, as it seems you keep finding out
...

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+1

As I read your post, Liam, my first thought was, "ouch. You never, never imply to a professor that you've got something better to do than their coursework. That's gonna cost him."

It's a Friday, and we're expecting 15-25mm of rain.
Damn.



Gibonius said:

Professors usually hate it when you suggest that other stuff is more important than their class. Basic assumption is that your job is to not overschedule yourself, it's not their job to adapt to your schedule. It's not necessarily fair, but life is like that, as it seems you keep finding out

Kind of bitchy to turn down your topic given that short a deadline though...

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Yeah, I know what you mean and in general I don't handle things like that. Thing is, we go back three years and are TAKING classes together for two. This course was on the topic of her thesis and book, but there wasn't enough interest to hit quota. A friend and I only signed up to help her out, with the explicit agreement that we would not be writing this paper, and in my case, that this class came second.
It has been far more work than she indicated, my semester became a lot more complicated due to situations I could not have foreseen, and I had to pick up the hours at work against my will.
No so happy about the lack of sympathy given all that.



MrG said:

+1
As I read your post, Liam, my first thought was, "ouch. You never, never imply to a professor that you've got something better to do than their coursework. That's gonna cost him."

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Gibonius said:

Professors usually hate it when you suggest that other stuff is more important than their class. Basic assumption is that your job is to not overschedule yourself, it's not their job to adapt to your schedule. It's not necessarily fair, but life is like that, as it seems you keep finding out
Kind of bitchy to turn down your topic given that short a deadline though...

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MrG said:

+1
As I read your post, Liam, my first thought was, "ouch. You never, never imply to a professor that you've got something better to do than their coursework. That's gonna cost him."

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i also found this to be the case. wasnt able to get an extension when my daughter was born. PIA.

I cant figure out what I want to eat for breakfast.



CalTex said:

I cant figure out what I want to eat for breakfast.

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Eggs Rothko with candied bacon



or grits w/cheese two eggs, and candied bacon



Piobaire said:

When it's your signature on their paycheque people usually smile and nod no matter what you say to them. Funny how that works.

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And it doesn't bother you that you are signing cheques for a bunch of weasels and yes men?



LawrenceMD said:

Eggs Rothko with candied bacon

or grits w/cheese two eggs, and candied bacon

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that looks delish. aside form the bacon of course.



well, that looks delish too, just not kosher.



MrG said:

+1
As I read your post, Liam, my first thought was, "ouch. You never, never imply to a professor that you've got something better to do than their coursework. That's gonna cost him."

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+1 - I was working full time most of my university career, as well as attending a technical college part time, and I made the same mistake many times "I really need an extention because I have a business trip to Asia" isn't something that a 25 year old philosophy prof can really identify with.

good luck - I suggest sucking up, a lot of these people respond well to sucking up.

Fang66 said:

Piobaire said:

When it's your signature on their paycheque people usually smile and nod no matter what you say to them. Funny how that works.

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And it doesn't bother you that you are signing cheques for a bunch of weasels and yes men?

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I am enjoying your recent hard on for me.



globetrotter said:

+1 - I was working full time most of my university career, as well as attending a technical college part time, and I made the same mistake many times "I really need an extention because I have a business trip to Asia" isn't something that a 25 year old philosophy prof can really identify with.
good luck - I suggest sucking up, a lot of these people respond well to sucking up.

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+1. i found that showing interest in the class, and asking question after class, generally builds a nice relationship with the professor. once that is well established, and the prof understands you are enthusiastic and interested, requests are received much more positively.

Piobaire said:

I am enjoying your recent hard on for me.

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are you a fran of the hard on in general?

@ All Y'all, I'm the master of sucking up. I had about five former professors who I still stay in touch with offer to write me letters for grad school, I routinely go out to lunch with people who I've not taken a class from in 2-3 years, and I bribe the **** out of all levels of administration (I'm so glad I found out the evil departmental secretary loves toblerone).

With regard to this prof, I took her class (the first time) out of necessity, I needed the credit and it was all that was open. I built up a great rapport, had an interest in the material, made friends with her. She's very fond of me, and understands my situation (I think). I took three more of her classes because she asked me to, enrolled in an independent study she organized, and took this class as a favor to her, personally. She's written letters of recommendation for me, and (not bragging here) one of her colleagues tells me she talks about me non-stop in the department and is convinced I'm some kind of linguistics genius (I'd like to clarify I'm not, I'm just one of the few people who doesn't A) run screaming from her classes and B) actually bothered learning the language instead of paraphrasing other translations).

I kinda figured when my laptop and car died, one of my employees got into a car accident and another got stuck in Egypt a week longer than he was supposed to be there, and then I mangled my labrum (Doc said thats what it was, apparently not rotator which is why I can move, and he said it was either a bad strain or a very minor tear). Turns out she's just crazy, though, and is so convinced I could do it she didn't want to give me an extension because it would somehow be selling myself short per her last email... I'm not sure WTF that even means. Moot point though, she's getting it Wednesday if she gets it at all.