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Things that are pissing you off. - Page 3294

post #49396 of 66704
Quote:
Originally Posted by Douglas View Post

Thanks LD, very solid advice. All very useful; some of it I'm actually already working on, but the bolded, for me, is the real wisdom.

I think my parents purposely dropped me off at sketchy family friends and cousins places just to see how other people lived. I was a spoiled child (kind of a miracle/menopausal/mistake baby born 8 years after my older brother) and my parents figured out that leaving me with other families for a day would let me gain perspective. They were just too worn out and older to really discipline me when I was a kid. I did see some sketchy shit though.
Warning: Spoiler! (Click to show)
- one of the families had a physically abusive step dad. ironically the mom was a LAPD officer. the dad never touched me but i learned that sometimes you have to just shut the fuck up and behave around crazy/abusive people as an act of self preservation. the guy was eventually arrested and the mother divorced him.
- another family lived in a really sketchy part of riverside CA. I learned that nice families actually do live in the hood.
- i also stayed with a lot of mixed race families (both very affluent and poor). I learned really early that lots of money does not equal happiness.

now that I think of it... maybe my parents did drop me off to hang out with other families a little too often mad.gifcloud.gif
post #49397 of 66704
Yeesh, Douglas, that's scary. There are few things more unsettling than not feeling secure in your own home/neighborhood. We had some broad-daylight muggings in my neighborhood not too long ago, and it was a really terrible feeling. It makes you paranoid and uncomfortable.

As far as your daughter, FWIW the first thing I thought was what you highlighted in LD's post. There are always going to be bad influences, parents with dissimilar rules, and so forth, but your job as a a parent is to identify them and mitigate it as best you can. It sounds like you're on the right track, and I'll echo Piob's post: The very fact that you're so concerned about it, and doing your best to deal with it fairly and with a cool head, says to me that your kid will be just fine.
Quote:
Originally Posted by in stitches View Post

G - braces are sexy. take good care of your teeth, and i hope you work the issue out. smile.gif

I have this horrible picture in my head of me in a business suit trying to be a grown up with a mouth full of wires. All I know is that, if it does happen, I better be gettin' that Invisalign stuff. I'm not going all metal mouth at this age!

I'm actually fantastic about taking care of the grille. I asked my dentist why this had happened, given I'm so meticulous, and he said there was nothing I could do. It's just the way I healed after the extraction (it's apparently very common if your wisdom teeth were impacted, which mine were).
post #49398 of 66704
Quote:
Originally Posted by MrG View Post

I have this horrible picture in my head of me in a business suit trying to be a grown up with a mouth full of wires. All I know is that, if it does happen, I better be gettin' that Invisalign stuff. I'm not going all metal mouth at this age!
I'm actually fantastic about taking care of the grille. I asked my dentist why this had happened, given I'm so meticulous, and he said there was nothing I could do. It's just the way I healed after the extraction (it's apparently very common if your wisdom teeth were impacted, which mine were).

louis litt did it, so can you!

---

douglas, that is horrible. has the block considered paying for a full time patrol man for a few weeks?
post #49399 of 66704
A good family dog and an aluminum baseball bat go a long way toward home security
post #49400 of 66704
Quote:
Originally Posted by in stitches View Post



also, LD made some good points too, and he is a smart dude.
Thanks, d00d. Of course, it's the sort of thing that's easy to say in the abstract but harder to walk the walk.
Quote:
Originally Posted by SkinnyGoomba View Post

Were you guys ready when you had kids or did you just sort of go with the momentum so to speak?
Yeah, pretty much what everybody else said. Not to suggest jumping into it blindly - for some people not having kids is obviously the right choice. But at least for me, if I'd waited until I was 100% positive I was "ready" to be a parent, I'd still just be LawyerGuy rather than the father of a really cool 12-year old.
post #49401 of 66704
Douglas


1. We have the 'different rules for different families' with our kids. I basically say that we have higher expectations than other families but also better expectations of rewards. And my kids seem to get it. But it can be very frustrating.

2. Boy, I feel for you in this. You don't want to be shooting a kid. You feel like a sitting duck. And, frankly, you might not want to be facing 4 inner city 17 year olds with a baseball bat in your hands.

Have you thought about better doors? Steel door are pretty much burglar proof.

The idea of hiring a guard for a short term might be worth it. These aren't criminal masterminds, if one gets cought the problem might be over.

It seems to me that their cant be that much manufacturing in that hellhole you live in. Can't you call the mayor and ask for some extra support? A couple of anti crime guys for a few days could solve the problem

Good luck.
post #49402 of 66704
Quote:
Originally Posted by SkinnyGoomba View Post

Were you guys ready when you had kids or did you just sort of go with the momentum so to speak?

There is no such thing as "ready."

My attitude was, "I'm as ready as I'll ever be, so let's just not prevent it."

For me, there were a few things I had to have done before it was feasible, primarily finishing grad school and finding a job. Once those things happened, and given the missus and I had pretty well decided it was going to happen at some point, it just didn't really make sense to keep actively putting it off.
post #49403 of 66704
Quote:
Originally Posted by lawyerdad View Post

Thanks, d00d. Of course, it's the sort of thing that's easy to say in the abstract but harder to walk the walk.

truth.
Quote:
Originally Posted by MrG View Post

There is no such thing as "ready."


truth.
post #49404 of 66704
Quote:
Originally Posted by englade321 View Post

A good family dog and an aluminum baseball bat go a long way toward home security

And a scary wife..
post #49405 of 66704
Thanks for the insight/advice fellas.

Douglas, i live in a pretty good neighborhood and I'm still pretty overboard on security and plans to continue to improve it. I'd rather prevent someone from breaking in, then deal with them after they do or deal with the aftermath. It's worth doing some research on upgrades to your house to better secure it.

My brother lived outside of philly for a while, everyone has those bilco doors, which is a nice easy spot for a thief to enter. We helped him install a steel frame door at the bottom of the steps with a commercial lock and poured a concrete surround over steel reinforcements. It was pretty good after that.

I would be very nervous to attempt to use a baseball bat for home defense, especially if groups are attacking you.
post #49406 of 66704
The whole neighborhood, which is about 800 homes, does hire a private security company to patrol 7 days a week, but it is only one car and they are only on from about 10pm til 6am, or something like that. It's just too big an area, and not enough patrol. It's not a gated community or anything, just a neighborhood (albeit one with deed restrictions) in the city. The patrol is paid for through a voluntary security fee. I gather there is only about 50% participation in the voluntary fee. Many houses pay it, many do not. (We do.)

We could hire more security, but for how long? Put a guard there for a month, they'll be back later.

Our house is a historic home, so just tossing bigger doors on there is going to be problematic for a variety of reasons. Fortunately, one of the historic elements is that almost all the first floor doors and windows are protected by steel bars. A few of the doors are a little bit more pregnable, and some of them have double deadbolts (a security feature I added) but they're only as strong as the wooden frames built in 1928 when security was not so much of an issue. There are three ground floor doors that are all glass divided light doors all the way to the floor. They do have iron rods running between the lights, but I think a pair of bolt cutters would go through them pretty quickly. Not sure if you'd be able to kick your way through them. I'm most concerned with the basement door, where I do have some flexibility in barricading it - and I will, but the door frame looks pretty flimsy, and since it's a walkout, you're pretty well concealed down there, and behind the house to boot.

I'm alarmed up; we set it every night and every time we leave - even just for a jog. But it's unnerving.

As for calling the mayor, LOL. The better solution is to do what everyone else does - move out of the city and into the surrounding counties, where your tax dollars would actually contribute to something you could use, like schools that aren't turning out house thieves. But I don't want to get all political here. I'm a stalwart, and without stalwarts, this city would plummet even faster than it already has.
post #49407 of 66704
Oh, and, as for kids - ours was an oops, before we were married, so, no, not planned.

She's still been the best thing that ever happened to me.
post #49408 of 66704
I would be very nervous to attempt to use a baseball bat for home defense, especially if groups are attacking you.[/quote]

I would only use a bat to discourage and then only if forced into a corner or to protect family members from harm . Using guns to protect your possessions is stupid imo
post #49409 of 66704
The thing about all of the doors and stuff...is that you still have windows.

Older homes have smaller windows, and double-hung windows leave less room for entry through a single pane, but any sort of large window or glass sliding patio door is an easy entrance. Will make too much noise to do it if people are home, but not so much that it can't be done on a quiet street with well-spaced houses.

edit: nevermind, you posted the thing about bars on the windows while I was typing this.
Edited by otc - 7/25/13 at 11:15am
post #49410 of 66704
Quote:
Originally Posted by Douglas View Post

The whole neighborhood, which is about 800 homes, does hire a private security company to patrol 7 days a week, but it is only one car and they are only on from about 10pm til 6am, or something like that. It's just too big an area, and not enough patrol. It's not a gated community or anything, just a neighborhood (albeit one with deed restrictions) in the city. The patrol is paid for through a voluntary security fee. I gather there is only about 50% participation in the voluntary fee. Many houses pay it, many do not. (We do.)

We could hire more security, but for how long? Put a guard there for a month, they'll be back later.

Our house is a historic home, so just tossing bigger doors on there is going to be problematic for a variety of reasons. Fortunately, one of the historic elements is that almost all the first floor doors and windows are protected by steel bars. A few of the doors are a little bit more pregnable, and some of them have double deadbolts (a security feature I added) but they're only as strong as the wooden frames built in 1928 when security was not so much of an issue. There are three ground floor doors that are all glass divided light doors all the way to the floor. They do have iron rods running between the lights, but I think a pair of bolt cutters would go through them pretty quickly. Not sure if you'd be able to kick your way through them. I'm most concerned with the basement door, where I do have some flexibility in barricading it - and I will, but the door frame looks pretty flimsy, and since it's a walkout, you're pretty well concealed down there, and behind the house to boot.

I'm alarmed up; we set it every night and every time we leave - even just for a jog. But it's unnerving.

As for calling the mayor, LOL. The better solution is to do what everyone else does - move out of the city and into the surrounding counties, where your tax dollars would actually contribute to something you could use, like schools that aren't turning out house thieves. But I don't want to get all political here. I'm a stalwart, and without stalwarts, this city would plummet even faster than it already has.
I admire your attitude were it more prevalent our cities would be much better places
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