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Things that are pissing you off. - Page 2850

post #42736 of 67923

Sometimes life gives you rotten lemons. My life is a warm glass of rotten lemonade right now. Tastes like dog shit.

post #42737 of 67923
Quote:
Originally Posted by L'Incandescent View Post

Maybe you could dance the Hoochie Coochie dance with Meguchan?

I do that often, but it's just not the same if she doesn't meet me in St Louis Louie.
post #42738 of 67923
lately i've been watching local morning news and have noticed that there is always a report of a hit and run driver hitting a runner or bicyclist and just taking off to leave them there with serious injuries. i don't know if this is a recent thing or it's always been the case and i just don't watch the local news.

anyway, i would like to propose a new state law that if you are caught after you leave someone bleeding and/or broken by the side of the road, your punishment is that you will be driven out into the desert/swamp/mountains, one of your legs broken, and be left there. if you can make it back to civilization/hospital/home safely, then consider your sentence served. if you cannot, oh wells.
post #42739 of 67923
I've spent the first hour of my day sneezing.
post #42740 of 67923
Quote:
Originally Posted by HRoi View Post

lately i've been watching local morning news and have noticed that there is always a report of a hit and run driver hitting a runner or bicyclist and just taking off to leave them there with serious injuries. i don't know if this is a recent thing or it's always been the case and i just don't watch the local news.

anyway, i would like to propose a new state law that if you are caught after you leave someone bleeding and/or broken by the side of the road, your punishment is that you will be driven out into the desert/swamp/mountains, one of your legs broken, and be left there. if you can make it back to civilization/hospital/home safely, then consider your sentence served. if you cannot, oh wells.

+1. Also, if your claim of excuse is, "I didn't see them" you need to probably stop driving. I've had people pull out in front of me and do other stupid shit and say this. How you miss a vehicle the size of mine, with the daylight LED strip blazing, is beyond me.
post #42741 of 67923
Quote:
Originally Posted by death shot View Post

Sometimes life gives you rotten lemons. My life is a warm glass of rotten lemonade right now. Tastes like dog shit.

When life gives you lemons, don’t make lemonade. Make life take the lemons back! Get mad! I don’t want your damn lemons, what the hell am I supposed to do with these? Demand to see life’s manager! Make life rue the day it thought it could give Cave Johnson lemons! Do you know who I am? I’m the man who’s gonna burn your house down! With the lemons! I’m gonna get my engineers to invent a combustible lemon that burns your house down!
post #42742 of 67923
I like to make my martinis with a bit of lemon peel instead of olives. When life hands me lemons I make martinis.
post #42743 of 67923
Quote:
Originally Posted by death shot View Post

Sometimes life gives you rotten lemons. My life is a warm glass of rotten lemonade right now. Tastes like dog shit.


so life gave you lemons?   hold that f#&*er down,hold life's eyes open squeeze lemon juice in the eyes, and scream "how the f#&k do you like these lemons!!!!!!!!!!!!"ffffuuuu.gifffffuuuu.gif tongue.gif

post #42744 of 67923
Quote:
Originally Posted by harvey_birdman View Post

I like to make my martinis with a bit of lemon peel instead of olives. When life hands me lemons I make martinis.

fistbump.gif

Sadly I am several hours away from my first martini tonight. I have a heavy meeting schedule today.
post #42745 of 67923
Quote:
Originally Posted by harvey_birdman View Post

I like to make my martinis with a bit of lemon peel instead of olives. When life hands me lemons I make martinis.


wow, you are a jedi.  always love your posts.icon_gu_b_slayer[1].gif

post #42746 of 67923
Quote:
Originally Posted by munchausen View Post


When life gives you lemons, don’t make lemonade. Make life take the lemons back! Get mad! I don’t want your damn lemons, what the hell am I supposed to do with these? Demand to see life’s manager! Make life rue the day it thought it could give Cave Johnson lemons! Do you know who I am? I’m the man who’s gonna burn your house down! With the lemons! I’m gonna get my engineers to invent a combustible lemon that burns your house down!

 

Quote:
Originally Posted by size 38R View Post


so life gave you lemons?   hold that f#&*er down,hold life's eyes open squeeze lemon juice in the eyes, and scream "how the f#&k do you like these lemons!!!!!!!!!!!!"ffffuuuu.gifffffuuuu.gif tongue.gif

 

 

 

My father died suddenly two months ago, I have to move back to Baltimore to take care of my Mother. The leasing office isn't taking pity and is charging me a ton of money to break my lease, money I do not have. My mother participates in dog rescue and the house is requires a lot of time and money for renovations. I'm going to make a bomb out of those lemons and stuff it up fate's rancid cooze-hole. I'm going to trigger the explosion while walking away slowly with my back to the action like in the movies. Then I'm going to smoke a bowl and play some Battlefield 3.

post #42747 of 67923
Sorry for your loss
post #42748 of 67923
Quote:
Originally Posted by StephenHero View Post

I've spent the first hour of my day sneezing.

Sneezing is like an orgasm...

You had a full day of them.

More than many women had in all their lives.
post #42749 of 67923
Quote:
Originally Posted by death shot View Post




My father died suddenly two months ago, I have to move back to Baltimore to take care of my Mother. The leasing office isn't taking pity and is charging me a ton of money to break my lease, money I do not have. My mother participates in dog rescue and the house is requires a lot of time and money for renovations. I'm going to make a bomb out of those lemons and stuff it up fate's rancid cooze-hole. I'm going to trigger the explosion while walking away slowly with my back to the action like in the movies. Then I'm going to smoke a bowl and play some Battlefield 3.

Sorry for your loss, but you should be proud of yourself for doing the right thing even though it's difficult
post #42750 of 67923
Quote:
Originally Posted by death shot View Post




My father died suddenly two months ago, I have to move back to Baltimore to take care of my Mother. The leasing office isn't taking pity and is charging me a ton of money to break my lease, money I do not have. My mother participates in dog rescue and the house is requires a lot of time and money for renovations. I'm going to make a bomb out of those lemons and stuff it up fate's rancid cooze-hole. I'm going to trigger the explosion while walking away slowly with my back to the action like in the movies. Then I'm going to smoke a bowl and play some Battlefield 3.


Go talk to a lawyer. Spend $50 for a consultation to see if there's anyway you can break the lease. There's almost always a way. PM me with your local jurisdiction (county and state) and I can give you a referral to your local bar association.
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