Things that are pissing you off. - Page 2611

would you like me to email him a punch in the penis hole?

I just recently got home from the office, where I have been reading job applications for many hours. They all look pretty much the same, so it gets boring pretty quickly.

Of course the applicants have to sell themselves, but really you should not describe your skills as "superior." That's just overdoing it.

Business/ psych majors studying in the library week before finals and having full on conversations about their damn numbers! Leave seats for the bio majors who need to study!!

garage door broke a torsion spring and then threw a roller into Only God Knows Where. Now I'm weighing the cost/benefit of doing it myself versus paying someone to handle it. grr.

I immediately toss resumes that have prominent lists such as:

**Problem Solver
**Skilled in MS Office
**Team Player
**Able to Multi-Task

Anyone that figures this needs to be said is not worthy of an interview.

Works well in groups or alone.

I agree with on all of those except one; MS Office.

I worked hard to learn office; the fact I can code in VBA, develop complex modelling systems, build multi-system mailmerges, appropriately format 1,000 page documents for print is something that actually adds value to my work. Just because most people thing "proficient" means "typing quickly, and in BOLD" doesn't mean my skills are no longer worth having.

So say that and it will mean something. Otherwise, I think you're bragging about using spell check. And even then, only say that if you're applying for a job where that's relevant. I mean, if you're applying for a senior management position please don't list skills for tasks you should have your secretary or underling do.

What are you hiring for? Adjunct?

I say MS Office Suite to be classy and French, but really I am lying because I don't know how to use Access.

I think MS Office is important if it is an older person. I work with people in their 50's that know less than I did when I was in 8th grade.

Yeah, I had someone who insisted that anything relevant be added because of database search criteria. I thought to add walking and chewing gum but then again I don't chew gum these days.

- although, related but not similar: what's your reaction when you see 'ethical' on a resume?

That would catch my eye. Not sure which way I'd go there. Would certainly read the rest of the resume.

No, it's a tenure-track job.

We have our own cliches in academic job applications. Everybody is doing work that "fills a gap in the literature." As regards teaching, everyone runs a "student-centered classroom." (I don't even know what that's supposed to mean.) They have "lively discussions" in class that "challenge students' preconceptions." And they are all keen to assure me that they use the Socratic method. (Somehow it has become taboo to actually lecture in university courses. That's what I do, though, and frankly, I want to hire colleagues that do too.)

It's incredible how terrible old people are with Office. Especially Excel.

I have a breakout at the very end of my resume that lists the software I have experience with, including Office. It's literally the last section of my resume.

Perhaps it's just the nature of my job (I need to show I can use Excel, in particular, and that I have a background with ERP), but I can't imagine not including that information. I'm surprised to hear that some people find it to be a bad thing to include.

i really am getting sick. i wanna go home and curl up in bed.