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Things That Are Bothering You, Got You All Hibbeldy-Jibbeldy, or just downright pissed, RIGHT NOW! - Page 5647

post #84691 of 85734
I'm just telling her to decline the offer. It's too risky.
post #84692 of 85734
Quote:
Originally Posted by Biscotti View Post

Right now I am very, very angry. I helped my girlfriend get a very desirable job, and my father went out on a limb to recommend her. It's about as good as you can get for a fresh out of school engineer.

She messages me today that she did a few bumps of cocaine mid-August--now she's probably going to fail her drug test that she is scheduled to take early October.

I don't know what to do. There is just too great a possibility she'll test positive, and this may negatively impact my dad's reputation. No? Yes? I think the only option is for her to turn down the offer and move on.

I just don't get why she just now told me or why she did a few bumps at that time. I told her way back in April that the company does hair test drug screens.

What does SF think?

I don't really know the ins and outs of the tests, but if it's likely she'll fail it it's probably best that she not take it at all. I'm sure she can come up with an excuse that minimizes the relationship blowback for your dad.




Pun not intended.
post #84693 of 85734
Quote:
Originally Posted by Biscotti View Post

Right now I am very, very angry. I helped my girlfriend get a very desirable job, and my father went out on a limb to recommend her. It's about as good as you can get for a fresh out of school engineer.

She messages me today that she did a few bumps of cocaine mid-August--now she's probably going to fail her drug test that she is scheduled to take early October.

I don't know what to do. There is just too great a possibility she'll test positive, and this may negatively impact my dad's reputation. No? Yes? I think the only option is for her to turn down the offer and move on.

I just don't get why she just now told me or why she did a few bumps at that time. I told her way back in April that the company does hair test drug screens.

What does SF think?

Sounds like a fool or an addict. Sorry.
post #84694 of 85734
Quote:
Originally Posted by Biscotti View Post

I'm just telling her to decline the offer. It's too risky.
Right move. This could wreck your dad
post #84695 of 85734
She's not an addict. It was a dumb decision on a night she celebrated finishing school and passing all her exams. Unfortunately, that one dumb decision was made at the worst time to make such a decision.
post #84696 of 85734
....
post #84697 of 85734
Quote:
Originally Posted by Biscotti View Post

She's not an addict. It was a dumb decision on a night she celebrated finishing school and passing all her exams. Unfortunately, that one dumb decision was made at the worst time to make such a decision.

I don't think there is much risk to your dad's reputation.  It would be embarrassing, though and might hurt future recommendations.  Not sure how long you have been together for but I would put coke in my deal breaker category for a serious relationship.  

post #84698 of 85734

I was the  welding supervisor for my company back when drug testing  was starting to become more common . One day my boss calls me into the office to send me to a project that I knew was piss testing anyone who came on the site. I knew my chances of passing were @50/50. I tried to beg off as diplomatically as possible while my boss just sat there perplexed. When he realized what I was talking about he just laughed ,called me a "fucking old hippie " and told me he would send someone else. From then on he always asked if I would be ok but it never happened again. If I knew something was coming up I would just abstain before hand . Any choice is better than having to deal with failing the test its not like you have to study or anything

post #84699 of 85734
What a shit sandwich of a day. Good lord.
post #84700 of 85734
Quote:
Originally Posted by Markboots View Post

I don't think there is much risk to your dad's reputation.  It would be embarrassing, though and might hurt future recommendations.  Not sure how long you have been together for but I would put coke in my deal breaker category for a serious relationship.  

We've been together over a year, and I think this was her second time ever in her life doing coke. If it was a monthly occurrence, yeah, I probably wouldn't date her, either. But, I have no problem with occasional experimentation with illicit substances--I've had my fair share of fun times. However, there is a time for experimentation, and that time really isn't at the start of looking for employment.

Oh well, and I disagree about reputation damage, it is a conservative firm, and she was going to live at my parents house for a bit until she got settled and could get find a good place to live. Would be pretty embarrassing for everyone involved.

Probably best she just not take it.
post #84701 of 85734
So there's a lot of family stuff going on that is weighing me down. Don't want to get too into detail but right now I have to make a decision between being a good son and staying here to help out the folks as much as possible because they are in a bad way. However.... if I do that I have to pass up on what would be some life/career altering moves. Short and long I don't have any good options really.

Which is a long way of saying I started off today just in a mess confused and pretty depressed about everything.

Had a work lunch which left me furious to the point where I have no desire to stay and I mean it isn't like I can just pack up and go.

So I had quite a roller coaster of bullshit today. I can't ignore how much my parents have sacrificed for me and what my mom did for her kids before she met my dad in my my decision. To not sacrifice for them would be a bitch move plain and simple. If I sound beat down and worn out my parents are even more so. As a man of faith too I'm just even more perplexed by it all.

I know there's no right answer and nothing really anyone can say I just need to vent.
post #84702 of 85734
Quote:
Originally Posted by edinatlanta View Post

So there's a lot of family stuff going on that is weighing me down. Don't want to get too into detail but right now I have to make a decision between being a good son and staying here to help out the folks as much as possible because they are in a bad way. However.... if I do that I have to pass up on what would be some life/career altering moves. Short and long I don't have any good options really.

Which is a long way of saying I started off today just in a mess confused and pretty depressed about everything.

Had a work lunch which left me furious to the point where I have no desire to stay and I mean it isn't like I can just pack up and go.

So I had quite a roller coaster of bullshit today. I can't ignore how much my parents have sacrificed for me and what my mom did for her kids before she met my dad in my my decision. To not sacrifice for them would be a bitch move plain and simple. If I sound beat down and worn out my parents are even more so. As a man of faith too I'm just even more perplexed by it all.

I know there's no right answer and nothing really anyone can say I just need to vent.
cheers.gif
post #84703 of 85734
Ed, I'm really starting to worry about you. Go do something fun...like sign up for SS in Mouse's thread.
post #84704 of 85734
Quote:
Originally Posted by Piobaire View Post

SS in Mouse's thread.

NO.
post #84705 of 85734
Quote:
Originally Posted by edinatlanta View Post

So there's a lot of family stuff going on that is weighing me down. Don't want to get too into detail but right now I have to make a decision between being a good son and staying here to help out the folks as much as possible because they are in a bad way. However.... if I do that I have to pass up on what would be some life/career altering moves. Short and long I don't have any good options really.

Which is a long way of saying I started off today just in a mess confused and pretty depressed about everything.

Had a work lunch which left me furious to the point where I have no desire to stay and I mean it isn't like I can just pack up and go.

So I had quite a roller coaster of bullshit today. I can't ignore how much my parents have sacrificed for me and what my mom did for her kids before she met my dad in my my decision. To not sacrifice for them would be a bitch move plain and simple. If I sound beat down and worn out my parents are even more so. As a man of faith too I'm just even more perplexed by it all.

I know there's no right answer and nothing really anyone can say I just need to vent.

 

As someone who has had to support a sibling and a parent for basically my entire adult life and is now looking at a job move across the country, take the job move.  PM me if you want.

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