Went out to dinner to commemorate the day of my birth tonight. There was a couple there who I am fairly sure were "in flagrante." The woman sent back her sandwich because the lettuce was wilted. It was a hot sandwich. The waiter bent over backwards to make it right (probably because the owner, who looked like a young, latino Jack Black, was there). When the second sandwich came out, she didn't touch it (I'm sure because it's a HOT SANDWICH and the lettuce will always be wilted... duh), and refused to have it boxed up because the couple was going away for a romantic getaway, which they were very cagey about revealing. He had long, painted fingernails and wore a printed bowling shirt, wedding ring, and fedora. She had Kool Aid–dyed hair and wore neither wedding ring nor brassiere (despite the fact that she very clearly needed one). She enjoyed the sound of her own voice. I'm not sure he felt the same way, though I am sure he enjoyed the enchiladas on her chest more than she enjoyed her meal.