Most Sundays I see live jazz at this bar in my neighborhood. A lot of times it is really good, but sometimes it is horrible for many different reasons. The jazz performance is kind of an open jazz performance so any jazz musician that knows standards can sit in for some songs and play. This has made the crowd much larger over the years because all of these nerds show up to play so you have half the bar filled with musicians and half the bar filled with gig bags and other equipment. This is only the preface to what really pisses me off. In no particular order of annoyance:
1. Some musicians just want to show off. There is this one guy, handsome as fuck, who plays alto sax. Whenever he plays he pretty much wants to show off how fast he can play and how many 16th notes he can blow in his 10 minute long solos. Fuck you man, seriously. He doesn't pay attention to the melody of the song at all and furthermore he plays loudly and for too long and then sits there with a shit-eating-grin on his face. Nobody wants to hear you blast through scales all night, eat a dick.
2. Drummers are awful. I love drummers, I respect what they can do, but in a small crowd they just plain play too loudly making all of the other instruments need to turn up in a small space. Calm in down Art Blakey.
3. Keyboards whom are too loud. Similar to number 2, they tend to play through an PA amp too loudly. That shit's gotta be in balance.
4. Guitarists who can't comp. I'm not skilled enough to do it, but you don't see me sitting in a jazz jam.
5. Guitarists similar to number 1. I hate hearing guitarists ignore the underlying melody of a song and just blaze through finger scales (albeit impressively).
6. Tap dancers. There is this one girl who comes in with a traveling board that she tap dances on. People love it because it is Williamsburg and it is quirky, but in reality it is annoying, gimmicky, and well, not that hard. Tap dancers don't know music theory and this is jazz so GTFO.
7. Bass players never bother me. They are generally, imo, the most important and impressive in jazz, so they are all good (and non-annoying on these particular Sunday evenings).