From this weekend:
1) Our softball playoff game was against this team of absolute dickholes. There was nothing they wouldn't complain about--even though they've won every game this season by mercy rule. The spoiled rich kids I umpire for and their parents whine less than they did. Even the ump said "I'm trying not to be an a-hole but that's obviously what y'all want to see and I'm running out of patience." By the end of the first inning I was like "one of these dudes needs to be hurt" they were that annoying. Anyway, despite the fact our team was for a church group, I took some satisfaction that the short stop was one of the prime douches and one of my hits smacked him in the jaw and he had to take a knee.
2) As I'm waiting for the light to change, this mosquito was flying right in front of my face. I go to swat it, lift my foot off the brake and tap the car in front. It was a Benz, too. Thankfully, no damage was visible but it gave me start. Oh--and the bug lived