I have a good friend who used to be late to stuff because he'd get caught up taking a poop.
Seriously, this was years ago, back before I had a real job, and I was night owl. He worked at a restaurant, and he'd call a bit before he was to leave work to see if I wanted to grab a few beers. We'd plan to meet at, say, 10:00, and he'd show up at the bar at 10:40 going, "sorry I"m late, man; I got caught up taking a poop." Eventually, I just started meeting at his house. He'd still have to take a disturbingly long dump, but he'd leave the front door unlocked so I could come in. Instead of spending cash drinking alone at the bar, I'd just chill on the sofa watching TV and drinking his beer