Looks like the only ones making it to our house this year for Crimmus are the Jews...the Gentiles cannot make it.
(Now I have to hide the Nativity Scene and all other imagery of the Dear 8 pounds 6 ounces... new born infant Jesus, don't even know a word yet). The SO (even though she is a Hallmark Christian) is really only close with the Jewish side of her family (who are generally JINOs) who come with their version of the Feast of the Seven Fishes. [I am not talking oysters here). On Crimmus Morning, her family will come bearing bagels, kugel, lox, herring, whitefish salad, and various other smoked and pickled fishes and salads [would prefer Bitcoins, frankensense and myrhhhhh]. Since I cannot even stand the thought of eating this, I will proceed to make a Bacon Bloody Mary (must remember to go to the Palm for their nuclear horseradish), fire up the grill and make a bacon egg [the bacon and fried egg qualifies it for breakfast] cheeseburger [which was grass fed and free range] on a toasted roll. Then, slightly betrunken and stuffed from the large piece of cow that was consumed, I will distribute the presents to everyone in my festive attire. I will then settle into my chair, with a Crimmus moon pie and an Ale8-One (spiked of course), to open my stocking and presents.