Things That Are Bothering You, Got You All Hibbeldy-Jibbeldy, or just downright pissed, RIGHT NOW!

munchausen said:

tl;dr warning, I'm going to lay down some heavy burdens here, so stop reading right now if you don't want to know about them.
I've never really talked about this one the board before, but 10 years ago I had a daughter with a woman that, in my youthful naivete, I thought was the love of my life. Our love didn't last but my daughter turned out amazing, inheriting the best characteristics of her mother and me with almost none of our flaws. Her mother, on the other hand, has always caused me grief. She can be completely unreasonable and has always been erratic and difficult to count on. However, in the past year her erratic behavior has spiked. She never keeps appointments, never does what she says she will do. She insists on me taking care of our daughter in her house because she has an irrational dislike of my girlfriend, and I go along with it (yes I know better) because it's more pleasant than fighting over it or not seeing my daughter. When she asks me to watch her for a few hours in the evening, I have taken to bringing an overnight bag because almost every time she shows up much later than she promised. Often after 3 AM on weekday.
This behavior has coincided with her making friends with a recently divorced woman who is, I will make no bones about it, a drug addict. My daughter's mother denies using any drugs regularly and other than smoking pot (which I do as well) I have no direct evidence that she is using.
Last night I was at her house until about 7:30 PM, at which point I had to leave to keep an appointment. I called her and she told me she was on the way home and that I could leave my daughter there for the 30 minutes or so it would take her to get home. This morning at 7:30 I get a call from my daughter saying that she had not seen her mother before going to bed last night and that she was not there this morning. I threw on some clothes, thinking about my terrified daughter at home all alone.
We were planning on having Thanksgiving together anyway, and I felt that the best way to soothe my daughter's fear this morning was to get working on Thanksgiving until her mother decided to call. We went shopping (her mother was supposed to have done this the night before and I had even given her money to do it), bought everything and around 10 AM started the turkey. 30 minutes later her mother finally called. My first response was "At least we know you are ok." From that point on, she released a nonstop string of abuse, especially after she discovered that we had already started cooking. She accused me of trying to exploit her mistake for some kind of personal gain. She insisted that I leave her house, and when I refused because I was not going to leave my daughter alone on Thanksgiving she said that she was not coming home.
I've finally calmed my daughter down and we have continued cooking dinner. Haven't seen hide nor hair of the mother since then. I'm just trying to save Thanksgiving here. Apparently that makes me an asshole.

Click to expand...

munchausen said:

tl;dr warning, I'm going to lay down some heavy burdens here, so stop reading right now if you don't want to know about them.
I've never really talked about this one the board before, but 10 years ago I had a daughter with a woman that, in my youthful naivete, I thought was the love of my life. Our love didn't last but my daughter turned out amazing, inheriting the best characteristics of her mother and me with almost none of our flaws. Her mother, on the other hand, has always caused me grief. She can be completely unreasonable and has always been erratic and difficult to count on. However, in the past year her erratic behavior has spiked. She never keeps appointments, never does what she says she will do. She insists on me taking care of our daughter in her house because she has an irrational dislike of my girlfriend, and I go along with it (yes I know better) because it's more pleasant than fighting over it or not seeing my daughter. When she asks me to watch her for a few hours in the evening, I have taken to bringing an overnight bag because almost every time she shows up much later than she promised. Often after 3 AM on weekday.
This behavior has coincided with her making friends with a recently divorced woman who is, I will make no bones about it, a drug addict. My daughter's mother denies using any drugs regularly and other than smoking pot (which I do as well) I have no direct evidence that she is using.
Last night I was at her house until about 7:30 PM, at which point I had to leave to keep an appointment. I called her and she told me she was on the way home and that I could leave my daughter there for the 30 minutes or so it would take her to get home. This morning at 7:30 I get a call from my daughter saying that she had not seen her mother before going to bed last night and that she was not there this morning. I threw on some clothes, thinking about my terrified daughter at home all alone.
We were planning on having Thanksgiving together anyway, and I felt that the best way to soothe my daughter's fear this morning was to get working on Thanksgiving until her mother decided to call. We went shopping (her mother was supposed to have done this the night before and I had even given her money to do it), bought everything and around 10 AM started the turkey. 30 minutes later her mother finally called. My first response was "At least we know you are ok." From that point on, she released a nonstop string of abuse, especially after she discovered that we had already started cooking. She accused me of trying to exploit her mistake for some kind of personal gain. She insisted that I leave her house, and when I refused because I was not going to leave my daughter alone on Thanksgiving she said that she was not coming home.
I've finally calmed my daughter down and we have continued cooking dinner. Haven't seen hide nor hair of the mother since then. I'm just trying to save Thanksgiving here. Apparently that makes me an asshole.

Click to expand...