Originally Posted by RedLantern
The wedding is just an area where our values differ. I realize that part of being married is occasionally having to compromise one's personal values in the interest of preserving the union. Of course if your personal values differ too much, it just might not be a good fit, but in our case the wedding seems to be an exceptional case. Weddings make people crazy.
I didn't read the whole thread about weddings, but I will give you my advice, anyway, because that's the kind of guy I am.
lets start with this - I've been very happily married for 12 years with 3 kids, and I couldn't be happier. my wife and I pretty much never fight, and we get along great.
I had an idea of the kind of wedding I wanted - something a little unconventinal that I could pay for. either a nice sit down dinner for 40-50 friends or a cocktail party for a larger group, without solid food. good liquor, maybe a jazz band. I wanted to be able to pay for it out of the money in my pocket - no loans, credit cards, family help.
my wife, bless her, said "what a great idea, lets tweek the details" and we ended up with 300 people at a sit down dinner with a band and a DJ. and it was a blast. I fought against every detail pretty much, the stress was huge, unbelievable (for a start, her grandfather was going to pay for the larger wedding, and he intended to pay after the wedding, so I had to pay for everything up front, never having met her grandfather and trusting he would pay me back, and I was unemployed for 3 months or so during the preparations for the weddng). but, in the end, it was a blast.
here is what I say to grooms all the time -like it has been said, she has probably been dreaming about this her whole life, as have her mother and, to a lesser extent your mother. ask when you need to be where, maybe stick to one important thing (the bar, the band) and stay out of it, have fun.