A twink is a young male homosexual with prominent androgynous features.
It is going to take some time, and I will never be the person who I was just several days ago. I really lost a lot in a short amount of time--I am not going to state the specifics, but I realized I am not invincible, and the manner in which this revelation came to me was horrific. I do not believe that I have cried in years, and I've cried like a g-d damn baby the past two days. I never want to lose my freedom again; I never want to experience what I experienced again. I feel as though I am in a bad dream, and I can not wake up--I haven't slept since Thursday night, and I haven't eaten since Friday--I am tired and hungry, but I can not hold food down, and I can not sleep. I just keep reliving the actions, playing the scenes again and again in my head. I just keep asking--who the fuck am I? Who have I become? In this sense, perhaps what happened will ultimately benefit myself in the long run--that is, the reflections I've been forced to ask upon myself have left me realizing what in life is truly important. I have been selfish--I have been arrogant, and now I am paying for it.
My apologies for the rant, and do not ask for specifics as I will not state them.
Hope things get better Bis.