good luck, ed, that's rough. she sounds a lot like my sister.
on a seperate note - I got together with my brother and his family for Christmas at a water park. it was fun, and we didn't have any blow ups, but I feel bad at how distant and different I have grown from my brother. my sister in law smokes a lot of pot, and my brother told me about it last year. so now every time she disappears for an hour or so, I know what she is doing. also, she smokes pot with her 17 year old daughter, literally a few times a day. my brother married a not terribly bright woman, and his kids aren't terribly bright, and it is hitting home now that he has not terribly bright kids, and I think it is very hard for him to internalize. anyway, it was a nice enough couple of days, but I feel bad for my brother, and I feel a little bad that I don't identify with my nieces very much. such is life