Still haven't heard from my friend. I'm assuming that this means he's not coming, but I do think it's funny that he's basically supposed to be here by now, yet I can't even confirm he'll be here at all.
Originally Posted by FLMountainMan
A good excuse to cancel hasn't happened yet. Give it time. We've all got friends like this.
That's the thing. He doesn't even really offer excuses; he's just utterly unreliable. Plus, if he needed an excuse, he had one a couple days ago when he first mentioned not coming.
I'd also like to think we're good enough friends that he could just say, "man, this didn't work out, I'm sorry. I'm hoping to do it another time." I'm a reasonable person, and I get that things can come up and ruin plans. I don't get upset when stuff happens that's beyond someone's control. I even get that this might happen more than once. The thing that's so aggravating about this situation is that it happens over and over and over and over. If it weren't so frustrating, I'd almost be impressed by how reliably it occurs.
Originally Posted by Piobaire
Here's the thing: not everyone takes commitments the way we do. There is quite a bit of literature on the type of people like your friend, the type of people that are late for every meeting, etc. It basically percolates down to insecurity and/or a false sense of worth. So I guess you should cut him some slack but not count on him to be there.
Interesting. Is the research generally in management and the like? The thing that's so strange about this guy is that he's a really, really good guy, and he doesn't exhibit any of the traits you mentioned (insecurity/sense of worth), but he's spectacularly unreliable. It's basically his "thing." I do cut him slack, because I value his friendship to a greater degree than he annoys me, but still...ugh.
Originally Posted by in stitches
i didnt know you were so tight with edina.
Did you not notice I posted this in the "pissed" thread. Why would I do that if Edina weren't coming to my house?
Originally Posted by acidboy
ugh. I've stopped inviting/informing a very close friend of mine who's also my mountain biking buddy because of his tardiness or not showing up at all. I don't want to confront him, and I'm not angry but I find it helps my sanity by just not having to deal with him. he could show up if he wants, or he could text me but I've stopped telling him to join me.
This was my approach when we lived in the same city. Anything I invited him to was planned thinking he'd be late, if he showed up at all. Now that we're in different places, the inconvenience is multiplied, though it happens less frequently.