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On suicide - Page 5

post #61 of 153
I've been through depression and at one or two points I guess I vaguely considered it, looking down over the campus green thinking it'd be a lot easier to jump than go through everything else I was about to go through.

My cure for depression was to basically become a nazi about locus of control. I'm a little more relaxed about it these days but I think everyone, especially me, has the ability to control their own life and their own happiness. Bad shit doesn't just happen to people - they generally have some influence over their environment and most of all how they respond to it. So if I get run over by a bus driven by a drunk driver running a dead red while I was happily walking on the sidewalk - it's my own fault for not paying enough attention. At least I knew and accepted the risks of walking on the sidewalk. It's not to say terrible things don't happen, but the bottom line is that nobody else is responsible for your happiness but yourself. I also learned how to identify some of the negative (usually very self-centered) patterns of thought that had become routine for me and were contributing to the malaise. I can now check those patterns in their infancy.

Cool story, eh bros?

The closest actual suicide to me was this guy I knew in high school. He and I both dated the same extremely poisonous person - I actually "stole" her from him though, truth be told, I think it's more that he dumped her off on me, eager to be through with her. Scarily enough, now that I think about it, she was sort of the catalyst behind a lot of the things that ended up precipitating my own depression - though there was fertile soil there to begin with for other reasons. Anyways, he was also fertile soil for the crazy, having had an extremely fucked upbringing. Sad, as he was one of the most talented and brilliant people I'll ever know. Played D1 lax, could have played D1 football, went to Yale before transferring to UNC for lacrosse (and probably other reasons), a true math savant. Some years after HS, when I was living in Cali, I got this random call from him (I don't recall how the F he tracked me down) asking if he could crash with me for a few days. I allowed it, and this really strange few days ensued where I barely saw him. He'd be out til after I was asleep, he'd be crashed when I left for work, and gone by the time I got home. This went on for a few days until one day he was gone. I never saw him again.

A few years ago, I learned he'd walked in front of a semi on an onramp in Las Vegas at 4 in the morning. Although we were never that close, I feel sort of a strange kinship with him, as though he represents a shared and in some ways similar childhood, spun off in a bad direction. It further underscores my life philosophy.
post #62 of 153
Quote:
Originally Posted by Douglas View Post

Scarily enough, now that I think about it, she was sort of the catalyst behind a lot of the things that ended up precipitating my own depression - though there was fertile soil there to begin with for other reasons. Anyways, he was also fertile soil for the crazy, having had an extremely fucked upbringing. Sad, as he was one of the most talented and brilliant people I'll ever know.

certain people are just emotional black holes that suck the happiness out of people around them and turn the ones more susceptible into miserable fuck ups like them, and left unchecked they are like the catalyst to the crazies. I have close family members that are like that and just stepping into their house you feel that the inside is so fucking dark even if its not, and all you're gonna hear is about how fucking miserable life is. come to think of it, my uncle who hung himself grew up in an environment like that.
post #63 of 153
Quote:
Originally Posted by acidboy View Post

certain people are just emotional black holes that suck the happiness out of people around them and turn the ones more susceptible into miserable fuck ups like them, and left unchecked they are like the catalyst to the crazies. I have close family members that are like that and just stepping into their house you feel that the inside is so fucking dark even if its not, and all you're gonna hear is about how fucking miserable life is. come to think of it, my uncle who hung himself grew up in an environment like that.

Mental illnesses, addictions have an important role to play in suicides...

You will be amazed how many people are going undiagnosed even today in our happy pill popping generation..

I will bet that more than half the population are suffering from obvious personality disorders..
post #64 of 153
Quote:
Originally Posted by MrG View Post

This is a sound approach, medically speaking. Exercise is at least as effective as medication at treating depression and anxiety, and some studies say it's even better than meds.

It's certainly beneficial, but those studies tended to show that the depression and anxiety that was relieved was milder and, usually, situational. I was diagnosed with major depression and generalized anxiety disorder two years ago, and though I exercised regularly, I don't know how well I would have gotten through that period without the SSRI and Benzo that I was on.
Quote:
Originally Posted by bmac11c View Post

My wife's good friend shot herself in the head a few years ago and it's been hard on my wife ever since. She feels guilty; Felt there was something she could have done. The good news is, my wife is coming to terms with it. I can't imagine ever going through that and the guilt she must have felt.

Feelings of guilt are extremely common among survivors of suicide. At the support group I used to attend, every single member had feelings of guilt that I would put into two categories: (1.) survivor's remorse, and (2.) feelings of responsibility. They're terrible and persistent, but you do adjust.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Tck13 View Post

I had an acquaintance who killed himself. He hung himself in his attic on his son's birthday. I really feel terrible for his son having to deal with that every year on his birthday.

Good Lord....
Quote:
Originally Posted by NewYorkRanger View Post

Jesus. This I don't get. I had a student who graduated last year, the weekend of her graduation, her father threw himself off the roof of their 8th floor apartment building, falling past her room. The graduation was Friday, he killed himself Saturday, and the kid came to school on Monday cause she said she felt like she needed to be here, as it was like her home. I had never cried in public (well, aside from the Landon Donovan WC goal against Algeria) except for when I had to tell my colleagues what happened as they didn't know. I can't ever imagine leaving my kids that kind of memory...I still check up on her and her older brother whom I also taught, and they seem to be doing well...poor kids.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Tck13 View Post

+1 It makes me sick. It was such a self centered, sick thing to do.

A lot of times, it's the pressure (social, financial, etc.) of the "happy" event that triggers the suicide. I don't know if this was the case here, but that's fairly common. Think of all the people who commit suicide on or around Christmas. Terrible.
post #65 of 153
Suicide is selfish.
post #66 of 153
Quote:
Originally Posted by patrickBOOTH View Post

Suicide is selfish.

By essence ,it is even if it is a little complex than that...

In people suffering from Bipolar disorder , suicide is quite common due to chemical imbalances in the brain..

It is a litt;e more complex than selfishness..
post #67 of 153
Quote:
Originally Posted by lasbar View Post

By essence ,it is even if it is a little complex than that...
In people suffering from Bipolar disorder , suicide is quite common due to chemical imbalances in the brain..
It is a litt;e more complex than selfishness..

That's different. Somebody offing themselves because they did something stupid and made bad decisions is selfish.
post #68 of 153
Quote:
Originally Posted by patrickBOOTH View Post

That's different. Somebody offing themselves because they did something stupid and made bad decisions is selfish.

Uh....I don't think that quite covers the situation the vast majority of the time.
post #69 of 153
Quote:
Originally Posted by patrickBOOTH View Post

That's different. Somebody offing themselves because they did something stupid and made bad decisions is selfish.

As a father of two , I must admit it will be very very difficult to see suicide as a way out..
post #70 of 153
Quote:
Originally Posted by Teacher View Post

It's certainly beneficial, but those studies tended to show that the depression and anxiety that was relieved was milder and, usually, situational. I was diagnosed with major depression and generalized anxiety disorder two years ago, and though I exercised regularly, I don't know how well I would have gotten through that period without the SSRI and Benzo that I was on.
....

Please don't get me wrong, I didn't mean to advocate against medicine. Medication can be very effective, especially in severe cases, and exercise definitely isn't a panacea. I just thought it was interesting that there's another option out there that can be used both in lieu of, and in conjunction with, med/talk therapy.
Quote:
Originally Posted by patrickBOOTH View Post

Suicide is selfish.

Also, painless. It brings on many changes.
post #71 of 153
Quote:
Originally Posted by MrG View Post

Please don't get me wrong, I didn't mean to advocate against medicine. Medication can be very effective, especially in severe cases, and exercise definitely isn't a panacea. I just thought it was interesting that there's another option out there that can be used both in lieu of, and in conjunction with, med/talk therapy.
Also, painless. It brings on many changes.

As much as I wanted to identify with Hawkeye, I grew up to be Winchester, with a hint of Klinger. frown.gif

...

bipolar runs in my family, some of us take meds, others don't. The black dog visits once in a while, and is part of the reason I run as much as I do.
post #72 of 153
christ, everyone on this forum is fucking nuts
post #73 of 153
^^ FACT
post #74 of 153
It took you 5 years? Really? confused.gif
post #75 of 153
Quote:
Originally Posted by Douglas View Post

christ, everyone on this forum is fucking nuts

Oh hai! Welcome to Styleforvm!
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