^ good comment, I'll probably live another night now.
I don't know how anyone can truly delegitimise the rationality of suicidal thoughts, hence why saying there is so much to live for is just fucking annoying. The way I see it is when you're suicidal, you begin to either acknowledge everything you've had to ignore for your happiness, or stop being complacent about all the things you've had to accept about living.
Personally the only reason why I haven't killed myself thus far is that I have very little regard to my self worth, so to die to not die really makes no difference for me, but I only ever get to this kind if catharsis after an extremely gruelling catatonic phase
@Yolo, First of all I have to comment on the irony of your user name, in connection with what you're writing. Yes, You Only Live Once, and thus it's the most precious gift of all. You know what, you are worth something. I don't want to come here and give you a speech about how everyone is important and stuff, but if you feel that you're not important to anyone, why not make yourself important? At your job? For someone else? For an organisation?
I'm not really much of a touchy feely guy, but one time I was out with a female friend and we were sharing childhood war stories - mine were actually worse than the above, but hers were the stuff of horror movies. We were drunk and laughing as we tried to up each other. We were also a little loud. At one point I looked up to see the people at the surrounding tables staring at us with horror on their faces.
The point is that while the scars remain the wounds have long healed. I have now lived years beyond the age my father was when he killed himself and despite my sardonic Eeyore-like demeanor every day is a blessing.
@Lefty.I can identify with that. I was never a social person, to the point where I only had 1 real friend during my 12 years pf primary education, with A LOT of verbal hazing and related incidents. This lead me to believe that 1. everyone was out to hurt me. The rationale was that whenever I became "friends" with someone, I'd end up getting hurt. So, no friends, no pain.
2. everyone else had these shiny great lives with no problems and parents that are just awesome. Little did I know that every kid has problems and fuck-ups that they have to deal wit, both their own and the ones of their parents.
It was only much later, when due to an absolutely amazing group of people(and later friends) that I'd come to realize that 1. it's okay to let your guard down, 2. Talking about personal things is okay, not everyone is out to screw you over. Some people really are just nice people.
This made life A LOT easier to live, and while I was never seriously suicidal(contemplating it as a hypothetical, yes, quite a bit, actually wanting to do it for real, no), These things did help me to in essence start over in life and become the happy(ish) person that I am now. That's not to say that I'm completely different now, but it's a gargantuan step in the right direction.