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On suicide - Page 10

post #136 of 153
Quote:
Originally Posted by MarkI View Post

Has anyone ever close to you done it?

3 of my friends have taken their lives.
One (19 yrs old) was an alcoholic who drove his car into a telephone pole.
The second one, (22 yrs old) had been diagnosed with HIV and drove his car into a concrete wall.
The third (34 yrs old) hung himself in his parents garage for reasons still unknown, leaving a wife and small son.

A few other of my friends died very young: One (21) in a car accident was decapitated. Another went to his mothers home, layed on her sofa for a nap, and never woke up. He was only 36. And yet another (39) died of cancer, leaving a wife and 2 small daughters. All of these people were very dear to me and it is a terrible loss and the world is lonelier without them, may they all rest in peace.

I myself made 3 attempts at 19, 22 & 29. I won't give details. I am glad I failed. For all of lifes challenges, I am content to be alive.

I would tell anyone who is thinking of ending their life,
to get help. Call a distress Centre. Get a Therapist. Talk to anyone who will isten. Never give up on yourself. There is nothing wrong with you other than you are a beautiful human being trapped in a world of clowns. There are many decent people you will yet meet in your life so just look forward to that.
post #137 of 153
Glad you're still with us MOL. Stay strong.
post #138 of 153
Quote:
Originally Posted by NORE View Post

Glad you're still with us MOL. Stay strong.

Thank you NORE, I appreciate your kind words. Glad you are on the planet too. cheers.gif
post #139 of 153

I describe living with those feelings as sort of like the schizophrenia depicted in the movie a beautiful mind. He learned his companions weren't real and even though he saw them daily, he learned how to live semi-normally and function around it. And thus it is having suicide cross your mind every day of your life.

 

People who haven't felt it just can't understand it, especially when you're a high achieving person. But in the end, the collateral damage to loved ones outweighs whatever demons you're fighting.

post #140 of 153
stumbled on this a tad late. "suicide is a permanent solution to a temporary problem." Its one of those cheesy lines they feed you in the army, but for some reason it sticks with me. I personally know three people who have committed suicide, one i was really close to, the other a soldier assigned to me and the a childhood family friend.

My very good friend who had just returned home from Iraq and apparently (so the story goes) shot himself in his bath tub after discovering that his child was fathered by someone else. His death hit close to home because we had been particularly close in school. Because of distance, we had lost touch and it surprised me that he would even kill himself. Its bizarre, the most happy-go lucky guys out themselves. His mother and I are friends on Facebook and once in a while she emails me to talk about her son, which bizarrely I dont want to do. She posts about him all the time, which is a constant reminder.

A guy who was assigned to me some years back also recently killed himself. I was not particularly close to him, but he was also an Iraq vet and apparently had some issues.

Third individual would be a family friend who killed himself after not receiving the desired grade which would have let him graduate from college.

I have had suicidal thoughts in the past, but after my son was born, I dont think it has ever ONCE crossed my mind. I have too much to live for (his future).
post #141 of 153
My approach to suicide is a slow one; plenty of Scotch & smokes.
post #142 of 153
Quote:
Originally Posted by NORE View Post

My approach to suicide is a slow one; plenty of Scotch & smokes.

Very Churchillian...icon_gu_b_slayer[1].gif
post #143 of 153
Quote:
Originally Posted by NORE View Post

My approach to suicide is a slow one; plenty of Scotch & smokes.

 

Quote:
Originally Posted by lasbar View Post
Very Churchillian...icon_gu_b_slayer[1].gif

 

After two suicide attempts by hanging - with me in the room both times - my father finally decided to withdraw from the world and drink himself to death. It took a few years, but at the end he had swollen to 300 lbs and his liver shut down leaving him the colour of mustard with orange eyes.

 

It was decidedly unromantic.

 

lefty

post #144 of 153
Quote:
Originally Posted by lefty View Post


After two suicide attempts by hanging - with me in the room both times - my father finally decided to withdraw from the world and drink himself to death. It took a few years, but at the end he had swollen to 300 lbs and his liver shut down leaving him the colour of mustard with orange eyes.

It was decidedly unromantic.

lefty

It must have been awful to witness that...frown.gif
post #145 of 153
I had an aunt who did much the same. After many years of being a more or less sober alcoholic, she finally gave up and started binging again. Finally, she started a fire while trying to sneak a cigarette and was so physically disabled that she got stuck in her apartment. Asphyxiation was the result.
post #146 of 153
Quote:
Originally Posted by lasbar View Post

It must have been awful to witness that...frown.gif

 

The second time was hard. I was 15 and he was much too heavy for me to lift so I ran to the next door neighbour and asked his help to cut down my hanging father. Odd request in the middle of the night.

 

The things some fathers do to their sons ... they leave scars.

 

lefty

post #147 of 153
Quote:
Originally Posted by lefty View Post

The second time was hard. I was 15 and he was much too heavy for me to lift so I ran to the next door neighbour and asked his help to cut down my hanging father. Odd request in the middle of the night.

The things some fathers do to their sons ... they leave scars.

lefty

I was not going to comment or hurt your feelings on such sensitive matters but as a father myself, I do not understand how someone wants to traumatize his child by doing such act...

He maybe wanted to be saved in some kind of twisted self-preservation reflex.
post #148 of 153
Quote:
Originally Posted by lefty View Post

The second time was hard. I was 15 and he was much too heavy for me to lift so I ran to the next door neighbour and asked his help to cut down my hanging father. Odd request in the middle of the night.

The things some fathers do to their sons ... they leave scars.

lefty

cry.gif
post #149 of 153

I'm not really much of a touchy feely guy, but one time I was out with a female friend and we were sharing childhood war stories - mine were actually worse than the above, but hers were the stuff of horror movies. We were drunk and laughing as we tried to up each other. We were also a little loud. At one point I looked up to see the people at the surrounding tables staring at us with horror on their faces.

 

The point is that while the scars remain the wounds have long healed. I have now lived years beyond the age my father was when he killed himself and despite my sardonic Eeyore-like demeanor every day is a blessing.

 

lefty

post #150 of 153
^It's kind of amazing and much to your credit, lefty, that you came through such a traumatic childhood and are such a sensible, level-headed guy as you have presented yourself in the course of your years and thousands of good posts in this forum.
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