So, I went ahead and got one of the bumpers from Amazon, because they were only being sold for a penny plus shipping. It did the job, but has a horrible plasticky look to it, so I dumped it today. I went to the Apple store and got one of these:
It's kind of Pocket Day-Timer looking, but it does the job better, adds grip to the phone, as well as weight. I could do without the card slots, I'm not really into putting all my assets together like this. Although putting all your most important items into one grab and go item does have its advantages, say, if you're in a bordello and it gets raided.
The gas can looking case I bought from Fab.com has yet to arrive.