Originally Posted by Texasmade
Not to mention an eye patch makes you look tougher and cooler compared to a monocle which makes you look evil or greedy.
This is actually a common misconception about average monocle wearers, or AMWR’s (pronounced: am-wor’s.) In reality though an AMWR is neither evil nor greedy. Furthermore you might be surprised to find that the AMWR is actually a very caring and giving individual.
On the other hand how many people with eye patches have you seen save a bus load of children? If the answer is zero, you should consider donating to the ANWR Society for a Better Sight Picture of Tomorrow in One Eye. Proceeds go to help down on their luck monocle wearer's who had their pieces slip and fall into the drain puddle while delivering babies roadside in Brooklyn.
I think once AMWR’s become an accepted part of Western culture again can we truly begin to flex our monocle muscles so to speak. Hopefully that day is coming soon, as many of our highly respected and vaulted members have been forced to sell their beloved eyewear (to feed orphan babies) and when they recoup the funds needed to purchase newer pieces (after tax refunds) they are only left with cheap knockoffs which no true AMWR would let grace his or her waxed and perfumed eyebrows.