Old sport, do not drift into manhood with the insert, "could have done better had he tried."
Deep in your soul, you know what to do.
You know what makes romantic heroes and valiant crusaders.
Be that as it may, first things first... you must move out of your parents house (whether literal or metaphor).
Be a man, not a parasite.
Give yourself that birthday gift.
Buon Compleanno !