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Impending Fatherhood - Sartorial Emergency Kit

post #1 of 42
Thread Starter 
So. I'm apparently going to be a father in the next few weeks. Not sure how this happened, but I blame TV. Or possibly the internet.

As indicated by a raft of gratuitous daddy pics on the site, some of you have gone through this already. Since both my wife and I work, it will be up to me, typically, to deal with the daycare/school issues (both will be near my office). So here's the question: What do I stock in my office to deal with the inevitable baby-related clothing mishap?

Here's my current list:

1) White shirt.
2) Appropriate undershirt.
3) A couple of generic ties. Possibly knit.
4) Pair of grey slacks.
5) Tide stick (or something)

Any other suggestions? or is this pretty complete?
post #2 of 42
269
post #3 of 42
Thread Starter 
ouch.
post #4 of 42
Condoms. So it never happens again.
post #5 of 42
Quote:
Originally Posted by black_umbrella View Post

ouch.

I mean.... well, theres really no hope for your clothes. They sort of take a (gasp) back seat for a little bit after the bugger is born.

Im also coming off my 7th day of watching my daughter alone while my wife is on a business trip, so Im just bitter.
post #6 of 42
Thread Starter 
Quote:
Originally Posted by acridsheep View Post

Condoms. So it never happens again.

see, now this is the reasoning that will get us straight to idiocracy.

Acrid, you seem like a generally intelligent person, go out, procreate. There's always the option to be "Father to Many, Dad to None."
Quote:
Originally Posted by SpooPoker View Post

I mean.... well, theres really no hope for your clothes. They sort of take a (gasp) back seat for a little bit after the bugger is born.
Im also coming off my 7th day of watching my daughter alone while my wife is on a business trip, so Im just bitter.

Yeah, I figured as much, but I was hoping there was some ninja-style inside information. Teflon spray?
post #7 of 42
Quote:
Originally Posted by black_umbrella View Post

Yeah, I figured as much, but I was hoping there was some ninja-style inside information. Teflon spray?

Case in point - this morning, I had on my shearling coat ready to go outside for a walk with her after her lunch of deliciously bland buttered macaroni. Stupid me forgets to wash her hands, and she bear hugs me with butter soaked hands. This is not only 4 days after she flung a spoonful of pureed carrots on a Cucinelli sweater.

Best I can tell you is avoid direct contact with hands unless they have been declassified first, keep an extra pouch of wet wipes accessible at all times, and wear your shittiest possible clothing around the house.
post #8 of 42
Thread Starter 
this is where you're supposed to tell me it's worth it.
post #9 of 42
Quote:
Originally Posted by SpooPoker View Post

Wear your shittiest possible clothing around the house.


Too many dads apply this logic to life outside the house. Make sure you do not make the same mistake!

 

And black_umbrella, congratulations in advance on the birth of your first child!

post #10 of 42
^ sage advise
post #11 of 42
You wont care about this stuff and/or you will just figure out what you need to do when the time comes. My boy is 10 months now, gets better and better. My tip, you think you have enough diapers? you need more.
post #12 of 42
Quote:
Originally Posted by black_umbrella View Post

see, now this is the reasoning that will get us straight to idiocracy.
Acrid, you seem like a generally intelligent person, go out, procreate. There's always the option to be "Father to Many, Dad to None."

It is not disputed my son will be a conqueror of many lands and peoples, whose domain will stretch from the shores of many a great sea to the tops of the highest mountains. But, in the rarified words of the mighty Highlander, "There can be only one."
post #13 of 42
Quote:
Originally Posted by SpooPoker View Post

I mean.... well, theres really no hope for your clothes. They sort of take a (gasp) back seat for a little bit after the bugger is born.
Im also coming off my 7th day of watching my daughter alone while my wife is on a business trip, so Im just bitter.

Yep shitty clothes round the house is a must.
post #14 of 42

^ That Put This On guy Adam Lisagor wears that blue jumpsuit for a reason.

post #15 of 42
Thread Starter 
Quote:
Originally Posted by acridsheep View Post

It is not disputed my son will be a conqueror of many lands and peoples, whose domain will stretch from the shores of many a great sea to the tops of the highest mountains. But, in the rarified words of the mighty Highlander, "There can be only one."

also shit I used to say.

Instead I'm having a daughter. Be wary of the unborn son boast....
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