or Connect
Styleforum › Forums › Culture › Social Life, Food & Drink, Travel › Out of your league?
New Posts  All Forums:Forum Nav:

Out of your league?

post #1 of 67
Thread Starter 
Have you ever met a woman who you felt was clearly "out of your league"? I haven't really had this experience since high school when I was a lot less confident and more socially awkward.

Keep in mind here that I have a serious relationship with a beautiful girl- so this reflection is merely speculation based on a recent encounter.

My employers and I were recently having a meeting with one of our clients, a large developer in our city. The gentleman who is the developer actually employs his daughter as on of the top managers at the actual site of the particular development in our city. The daughter is generally the contact person when my employers are called in for something, so when we have gone in for meeting we generally meet with her. My bosses, two italian guys, always remark as we are leaving, "Oh man, that is nice to look at!" Generally followed by how MUCH nicer to look at this girl is than, Joey Carbone, or whoever we met with right before her. After seeing her a few more times-- I seriously have begun to think she is probably one of the most attractive women I have ever met in person. She is very well proportioned with a beautiful, but not overly done-up face.

The whole experience has gotten me to thinking that given the girls beauty and wealth-- she is clearly "out of my league". It's a strange experience and I am wondering what people think.
post #2 of 67
I'd say it depends on her upbringing. Ignoring physical attractiveness for a second, what girls want is really all over the map, and is going to be based in part on past experiences. You never know, so you shouldn't rule anyone out with that type of thinking.

For example, the girl i'm dating's father was a rich french aristocrat that met her mother in mexico. The mother married the father for money, even though she couldn't stand the guy and got pregnant to keep him. He lost all his money and they're both miserable now. So even though the woman I'm dating has a place in montreal and manhattan, has lived all over the world, has a great career and more money than I do, she told me that as long as a guy is gainfully employed, she's not so concerned about how much money he has as long as he shows some potential. She really doesn't want to follow in her mother's footsteps. Similarly, she's dated rich men that have lost it all, so money really isn't something she looks for.

Then again, the woman you're talking about might have had parents that brought her up as a total snob and led her to believe that anyone without a 7-figure bank account isn't worth looking in the general direction of. And if she's very attractive and very rich, she may have spent most of her time dating very attractive and very rich men that cheat like crazy and/or treat her as disposable. You'll never know unless you try.

Besides, I think that anyone that goes in to a relationship thinking like that would be doomed to failure. It would manifest itself one way or ther other. I think it's probably a common problem for couples in which the woman makes significantly more than the man. You really shouldn't let wealth be something that makes you feel inferior.
post #3 of 67
all the time.

seriously, I am of the belief that there is only so much you can do to move up the atractivness ladder. if you are basically not that atrtractive, you can dress better, get an interesting job, get a lot of money, buff up your body, and each will give you a certain amount of "points". when you accept where you fall on the ladder, you have better chance of happiness. I dated women who were way out of my league for too long. it didn't make me happy. my wife is just barely in my league, and that is only just because she happens to like things about me that not everyone would. otherwise she would have been way out of my league.
post #4 of 67
Quote:
Originally Posted by globetrotter
all the time.

seriously, I am of the belief that there is only so much you can do to move up the atractivness ladder. if you are basically not that atrtractive, you can dress better, get an interesting job, get a lot of money, buff up your body, and each will give you a certain amount of "points". when you accept where you fall on the ladder, you have better chance of happiness. I dated women who were way out of my league for too long. it didn't make me happy. my wife is just barely in my league, and that is only just because she happens to like things about me that not everyone would. otherwise she would have been way out of my league.

EDIT: for really bad english...

If they were dating you, how can you really say they were out of your league? Isn't that up to them? I think that if you limit yourself to only dating people that have similar succes, money and looks, then you're cutting yourself off from a lot of great potential partners.

Nobody would be making an argument about a man dating a woman with less money than he, but for a woman to make more than the man is unthinkable. It's out-dated thinking imo.
post #5 of 67
Quote:
Originally Posted by GQgeek
if they were dating you, how can you really say they were out of your league then? Isn't that up to them? I think that if you limit yourself to only dating people that have similar succes, money and looks, then you're limiting yourself.

Nobody would be making an argument about a man dating a woman with less money than he, but for a woman to make more than the man is unthinkable. It's out-dated thinking imo.

this is my belief, and you may agree with me in 10 years, or you may not. but, for instance, i dated a truly gorgeous woman once, and she was very high maintainance, and I think she was so because she knew she could be, taht I would work hard to keep her, as she was "out of my league". I dated another, extremly atractive girl, at one point, who gave me minor reason to be jealous (that was a long time ago - I told her exaclty how easy it would be for me to make her ex-boyfriend disappear in the dessert never to be found again, and made it clear that this wasn't idle talk). again, I think that was because she knew she could. I think, and this is my opinion, that I would have had a great deal better, more stable and happier relationships if I had settled for less attractive women 20 years ago.

but, by keeping my standards up, i did find my wife, eventually. so, all's well that ends well.
post #6 of 67
Quote:
Originally Posted by globetrotter
but, by keeping my standards up, i did find my wife, eventually. so, all's well that ends well.

Hopefully that's how it'll end up for me. Letting your standards erode is just a bad way to go. How long have you been married btw?
post #7 of 67
Quote:
Originally Posted by GQgeek
You'll never know unless you try.

QFT
post #8 of 67
Personally, I've met very few people in my life where I have thought, "We run in very different worlds and yours is a lot bigger than mine." Then again I like going to parties where I don't know anyone and make connections easily. When I was younger I used to be very intimidated by attractive girls. Then I realized that a lot of extremely attractive women are as boring as watching paint dry or have unrealistic expectations about relationships because no one challenges them. They think they can get by on looks alone.

I've also grown a lot as a person since I was younger and not to blow my own horn but I'm a bit of a catch. I've been fortunate enough to date some extremely attractive, intelligent, and witty women a couple of whom come from very wealthy families. The common thread with the ones I've really connected with is that, like me, they were awkward dorks when they were younger and had to develop social skills, smarts, and a good personality to become noticed. They weren't superhuman either and have insecurities, strengths, and weaknesses like everyone else. Like GQ Geek I'm of the belief that you never know until you try. That being said if a women is intelligent, attractive, and clearly of a high calibre you have to bring a lot to the table as well for the relationship to work.

A
post #9 of 67
Quote:
Originally Posted by globetrotter
I told her exaclty how easy it would be for me to make her ex-boyfriend disappear in the dessert never to be found again, and made it clear that this wasn't idle talk).
Hahahahaha
post #10 of 67
I think the reverse can also be true in the sense that it can be difficult to find women that have all of the qualities that you want for a serious relationship. I've dated some wonderful women over the years but have yet to find one that has what I consider "the complete package"...

Oh well, the search continues
post #11 of 67
Quote:
Originally Posted by drizzt3117
I think the reverse can also be true in the sense that it can be difficult to find women that have all of the qualities that you want for a serious relationship. I've dated some wonderful women over the years but have yet to find one that has what I consider "the complete package"...

Oh well, the search continues

The most true quote from seinfeld is that 95% of the population is un-dateable. Of the 5% that's left, it's still very difficult to find one that's really got what you're looking for.
post #12 of 67
Quote:
Originally Posted by GQgeek
Hopefully that's how it'll end up for me. Letting your standards erode is just a bad way to go. How long have you been married btw?


8 years
post #13 of 67
harmony is attained when water seeks its own level
post #14 of 67
Theres some interesting in evolutionary psychology on this subject of which person in the couple is percieved as more / less attractive.
It sets up a dynamic for sure.

Author is David Buss
post #15 of 67
Quote:
Originally Posted by designprofessor
Theres some interesting in evolutionary psychology on this subject of which person in the couple is percieved as more / less attractive.
It sets up a dynamic for sure.

Author is David Buss
give us the essentials ;p
New Posts  All Forums:Forum Nav:
  Return Home
Styleforum › Forums › Culture › Social Life, Food & Drink, Travel › Out of your league?