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Anybody feel that they aren't where they want to be at their age? - Page 3

post #31 of 48
Quote:
Originally Posted by Fraiche View Post

Seems like the OP derives his happiness from without rather than within. But as another poster mentioned, that is the double edged sword of ambition.
I don't have as much ambition as I should given my skills but I'm actually quite content. Maybe New Yorkers should do a stint in California cause the lifestyle here is is vastly different and offers a different perspective on life.

There is a real level of truth in this... competing in an environment in which you truly don't desire to belong can be consuming. As I am planning to relocate to Cali with my girlfriend this fall, she is currently finishing her JD/MBA in Hong Kong where she perpetually feels "not good enough" or "not working enough" when surrounded by many students and friends who just work their asses off for the sake of working, chase money and ultimately still not be happy or fulfilled. Balance is the true key to happiness.
post #32 of 48
Thread Starter 
Quote:
Originally Posted by Kid Nickels View Post

There is a real level of truth in this... competing in an environment in which you truly don't desire to belong can be consuming. As I am planning to relocate to Cali with my girlfriend this fall, she is currently finishing her JD/MBA in Hong Kong where she perpetually feels "not good enough" or "not working enough" when surrounded by many students and friends who just work their asses off for the sake of working, chase money and ultimately still not be happy or fulfilled. Balance is the true key to happiness.

well, I actually don't mind what I do at all, and like working, so thats not the problem. Perhaps I need to look more at what I have achieved as opposed to what I haven't?
post #33 of 48
Quote:
Originally Posted by Quadcammer View Post

Quote:
Originally Posted by Kid Nickels View Post

There is a real level of truth in this... competing in an environment in which you truly don't desire to belong can be consuming. As I am planning to relocate to Cali with my girlfriend this fall, she is currently finishing her JD/MBA in Hong Kong where she perpetually feels "not good enough" or "not working enough" when surrounded by many students and friends who just work their asses off for the sake of working, chase money and ultimately still not be happy or fulfilled. Balance is the true key to happiness.

well, I actually don't mind what I do at all, and like working, so thats not the problem. Perhaps I need to look more at what I have achieved as opposed to what I haven't?

Take some advice from someone in his 40s. There is always a bigger swinging dick than you. Always. So do not compare yourself to anyone but yourself in any meaningful way. Also, think about comparitive or ratio metrics. I mean, if I work 40 hours a week and make 250k a year, but you work 80 hours a week and make 300k? I win.
post #34 of 48
Quote:
Originally Posted by Piobaire View Post

Take some advice from someone in his 40s. There is always a bigger swinging dick than you. Always. So do not compare yourself to anyone but yourself in any meaningful way. Also, think about comparitive or ratio metrics. I mean, if I work 40 hours a week and make 250k a year, but you work 80 hours a week and make 300k? I win.

+1

another thing - I didn't really get what I would consider a "good" job till I was 30. 22-30 I was doing interesting things, and having fun, and working hard, and learning, and earning well, but things really burst for me at 31. I know a bunch of guys just like that.
post #35 of 48
I'll be 35 this year and I do own a home (a small one that is over 50 years old) but not 2 luxury cars (I drive a busted ass Toyota) and I think I'm doing pretty well for myself.
post #36 of 48
Quote:
Originally Posted by Piobaire View Post

I mean, if I work 40 hours a week and make 250k a year, but you work 80 hours a week and make 300k? I win.
This obviously disregards the importance of how much one enjoys their work. I'd gladly take X to do what I do rather than X + 50k to do anything else for half the time.
post #37 of 48
Quote:
Originally Posted by globetrotter View Post

Quote:
Originally Posted by Piobaire View Post

Take some advice from someone in his 40s. There is always a bigger swinging dick than you. Always. So do not compare yourself to anyone but yourself in any meaningful way. Also, think about comparitive or ratio metrics. I mean, if I work 40 hours a week and make 250k a year, but you work 80 hours a week and make 300k? I win.

+1

another thing - I didn't really get what I would consider a "good" job till I was 30. 22-30 I was doing interesting things, and having fun, and working hard, and learning, and earning well, but things really burst for me at 31. I know a bunch of guys just like that.

Same here only push it out a few more years. The real cheddar did not start until my late 30s. That and I didn't manage to crack the poverty level until about 24 or so.
Quote:
Originally Posted by hopkins_student View Post

Quote:
Originally Posted by Piobaire View Post

I mean, if I work 40 hours a week and make 250k a year, but you work 80 hours a week and make 300k? I win.
This obviously disregards the importance of how much one enjoys their work. I'd gladly take X to do what I do rather than X + 50k to do anything else for half the time.

I understand what you are saying but I work from the default position that all work sucks. It's why they call it "work" and not "leisure" or "play time." wink.gif
post #38 of 48
Quote:
Originally Posted by Piobaire View Post

Take some advice from someone in his 40s. There is always a bigger swinging dick than you. Always. So do not compare yourself to anyone but yourself in any meaningful way. Also, think about comparitive or ratio metrics. I mean, if I work 40 hours a week and make 250k a year, but you work 80 hours a week and make 300k? I win.

you're right... I hear you. I really am striving to do something I enjoy (no guffaws please!) and am just trying to get my gf to realize she won't always be stuck in HK slaving away at this dual degree. In fact , she'll be done in September...then I can rescue her away to California! smile.gif
post #39 of 48
Quote:
Originally Posted by Quadcammer View Post

Look, I have a very comfortable salary and bonus. It affords me a very nice lifestyle, without question. But I feel mediocre...and in my business, that seems to be determined by income. Could be, but from what I know of these people, thats not the case. well I don't have any debt aside form my mortgage and my income covers my expenses. see above. I'm not saying it doesn't, I'm just saying that i'm happy with my success with respect to relationships. As stated, it seems that in my business, success is defined by title and income. And that is the part of my life where I feel mediocre. Less than $200k in NYC seems very mediocre.

...And once you break the 200k plateau, get married, and start a family, your income will seem very pedestrian. At 28, I was still in the midst of training, so I was jealous of my peers who had already started their 401k, started paying down their school debts, and were saving or purchasing homes. I'm five years older than you, and I'm starting to realize some contentment in my (upper) middle class lifestyle. Not everyone needs a Lexus SUV or C-class Mercedes, a Manhattan address, and/or a vacation home to be happy.
Quote:
Originally Posted by munchausen View Post

I'll be 35 this year and I do own a home (a small one that is over 50 years old) but not 2 luxury cars (I drive a busted ass Toyota) and I think I'm doing pretty well for myself.

If you introduce one or two school age kids into this equation + busted ass Toyota x2 + mortgage payment on a (small/modest) 3-bedroom condo in my neighborhood + fully funded 401k x2 = 275-300k HHI
Edited by norcaltransplant - 3/21/12 at 7:51am
post #40 of 48
ugh @ people who measure their position in life by type/# of cars they drive, money they can save, "nice things" they can afford.

Grow the fuck up.
post #41 of 48
From your own words, one can easily deduce that you'll always be dissatisfied moneywise. Shouldn't you concentrate on intangibles?
post #42 of 48
Thread Starter 
Quote:
Originally Posted by Flambeur View Post

ugh @ people who measure their position in life by type/# of cars they drive, money they can save, "nice things" they can afford.
Grow the fuck up.

settle down chief. I'm not quite sure "growing the fuck up" has anything to do with it.
Quote:
Originally Posted by .Kurtz. View Post

From your own words, one can easily deduce that you'll always be dissatisfied moneywise. Shouldn't you concentrate on intangibles?

not necessarily. I certainly have income targets and when I've hit them I've been pretty pleased with myself
post #43 of 48
Quote:
Originally Posted by Quadcammer View Post

not necessarily. I certainly have income targets and when I've hit them I've been pretty pleased with myself

And yet there is something missing. And you are not quite sure what it is.
post #44 of 48
Quote:
Originally Posted by Quadcammer View Post

settle down chief. I'm not quite sure "growing the fuck up" has anything to do with it.

Maybe not growing up in terms of age, but growing up in the sense of your maturity level. For a single guy you make a hell of a living considering how young you are. Now go find something to make you happy. Whether that's a significant other, a basketball league, or wine tastings every week. Engaging in comparisons where you don't know all the details and are just looking solely at lifestyle/income isn't going to benefit you at all. It's natural for people to envy other lifestyles, but you seem to dwell on them.
post #45 of 48
Stop looking at the few ahead of you, and look at the millions behind.
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