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Anybody feel that they aren't where they want to be at their age?

post #1 of 48
Thread Starter 
I realize that this is probably me being dumb, but lately I've felt like I'm really not where I want to be right now. This is not meant as a brag thread, so don't take it that way, as I'm really wondering if I'm being ridiculous.

I'm 28, good education (mba), decent job in finance with competitive salary and bonus, own a townhouse in Northern NJ, two nice cars, and decent amounts in savings, trading, and 401k, but I swear everywhere I look there are people that seemingly have better jobs, move saved, nicer things (shoes, furniture, clothes, watches, etc), higher quality of life, etc. (I'm talking out about financials right now, not relationships, happiness, intangibles, etc.)

Maybe I have unrealistic expectations, but I'm pretty disappointed with my current situation.

Is this a normal feeling at this age? Am I just not realizing how many people out there that are really struggling?

Any thoughts appreciated.

thanks
post #2 of 48
You should probably try to find happiness in yourself and not base it on comparing yourself to others.
post #3 of 48
Big +1 to what Pilot has said.

Plus it's meaningless to compare your financials to others because you clearly won't get a full picture just by basing on the wealth they outwardly display (loans/debt, savings, retirement portfolio are all bigger factors that you won't really have an idea of)...
Quote:
Originally Posted by Quadcammer View Post

Am I just not realizing how many people out there that are really struggling?

Yes. How about volunteering your time to get some perspective?
post #4 of 48
Thread Starter 
Quote:
Originally Posted by Pilot View Post

You should probably try to find happiness in yourself and not base it on comparing yourself to others.

I'm competitive by nature, so I always strive to be more successful.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Mandrake9072 View Post

Big +1 to what Pilot has said.
Plus it's meaningless to compare your financials to others because you clearly won't get a full picture just by basing on the wealth they outwardly display (loans/debt, savings, retirement portfolio are all bigger factors that you won't really have an idea of)...
Yes. How about volunteering your time to get some perspective?

Definitely true, but I feel like for at least several people, I have a pretty good idea.

As for volunteering, I do. twice a year I spend a few days working for habitat for humanity.
post #5 of 48
Regardless of how competitve you are, this can be a common feeling for 20 somethings and those fresh out of college (post college depression/mini existential crisis)...

I know you mentioned in your post that you weren't including the intangibles like relationships and overall happiness but have you put more emphasis on those? After college, just focusing on the things I'm able to control (relationships, health, free time) has done wonders for me.
post #6 of 48
You're trying to hammer a square peg into a round hole...

This sort of thinking is both vain & shallow.
post #7 of 48
It is perfectly fine. In fact, it is fantastic and I encourage it.

It is this disappointment and hunger that will further drive you to improve yourself. Once you start being content with yourself, you'll never grow, never improve, never become a better person. Just make sure that you don't sit on your ass and say that you want more. If you want more, TAKE ACTION.
post #8 of 48
Quote:
Originally Posted by Verniza View Post

It is perfectly fine. In fact, it is fantastic and I encourage it.
It is this disappointment and hunger that will further drive you to improve yourself. Once you start being content with yourself, you'll never grow, never improve, never become a better person. Just make sure that you don't sit on your ass and say that you want more. If you want more, TAKE ACTION.

+1... well said sir.
post #9 of 48
It's entirely dependent on what field you go into. I won't have an income worth mentioning until age 30, but that is considered quite young in the field I'm in(medicine).
post #10 of 48
Quote:
Originally Posted by Quadcammer 
I'm 28, good education (mba), decent job in finance with competitive salary and bonus, own a townhouse in Northern NJ, two nice cars, and decent amounts in savings, trading, and 401k, but I swear everywhere I look there are people that seemingly have better jobs, move saved, nicer things (shoes, furniture, clothes, watches, etc), higher quality of life

WTF?


I'm six years younger than you and wouldn't mind making that much when I'm 28.
post #11 of 48
+1 on the idea that people may have a lot of possessions that display wealth outwardly, yet be in tons of debt or have very little savings.
post #12 of 48
Quote:
Originally Posted by jrd617 View Post

WTF?
I'm six years younger than you and wouldn't mind making that much when I'm 28.

He didn't say he makes 401k. He was describing his retirement plan.
post #13 of 48
Quote:
Originally Posted by thenanyu View Post

He didn't say he makes 401k. He was describing his retirement plan.

Ummm... I didn't say that I thought 401K referred to his salary. Where did you get that idea?

Own a home + 2 luxury cars at 28 = very decent salary. Unless, of course, he lives beyond his means.
post #14 of 48
Quote:
(I'm talking out about financials right now, not relationships, happiness, intangibles, etc.)

If your definition of success has nothing to do with happiness and other intangibles I think you may have a bigger problem on your hands. Your paradigm for success seems to be far too driven by material desires. Perhaps if you spend more time fostering your personal relationships and especially your happiness, the money will come, and it will become far less important to your own definition of success.

If you weren't working in finance, what would you be doing? What are you passionate about outside of work?
post #15 of 48
Thread Starter 
Quote:
Originally Posted by jrd617 View Post

WTF?
I'm six years younger than you and wouldn't mind making that much when I'm 28.

Look, I have a very comfortable salary and bonus. It affords me a very nice lifestyle, without question. But I feel mediocre...and in my business, that seems to be determined by income.
Quote:
Originally Posted by GreenFrog View Post

+1 on the idea that people may have a lot of possessions that display wealth outwardly, yet be in tons of debt or have very little savings.

Could be, but from what I know of these people, thats not the case.
Quote:
Originally Posted by jrd617 View Post

Ummm... I didn't say that I thought 401K referred to his salary. Where did you get that idea?
Own a home + 2 luxury cars at 28 = very decent salary. Unless, of course, he lives beyond his means.

well I don't have any debt aside form my mortgage and my income covers my expenses. see above.
Quote:
Originally Posted by captainfunk View Post

If your definition of success has nothing to do with happiness and other intangibles I think you may have a bigger problem on your hands. Your paradigm for success seems to be far too driven by material desires. Perhaps if you spend more time fostering your personal relationships and especially your happiness, the money will come, and it will become far less important to your own definition of success.
If you weren't working in finance, what would you be doing? What are you passionate about outside of work?

I'm not saying it doesn't, I'm just saying that i'm happy with my success with respect to relationships. As stated, it seems that in my business, success is defined by title and income. And that is the part of my life where I feel mediocre. Less than $200k in NYC seems very mediocre.
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