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Merry Christmas from the Family

post #1 of 2
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A hearty Texan Merry Christmas to you all

Mom got drunk and dad got drunk
At our Christmas party
We were drinking champagne punch and
Homemade egg nog

Little sister brought her new boyfriend
He was a Mexican
We didn’t know what to think of him
Til he sang Feliz Navidad, Feliz Navidad.

Brother David brought his kids with him
The three from his first wife Lynn
And the two identical twins
From his second wife Marynell

Of course he brought his new wife Kay
Who talks all about A.A.
Chain-smoking while the stereo plays
Noel, Noel, the first Noel.

Carve the turkey, turn the ballgame on
Make margaritas when the egg nog’s gone
Send somebody to the quick pack store
We need some ice and an extension cord
A can of bean dip and some Diet Rite
A box of tampons and some Marlboro Lights
Hallelujiah! everybody say “Cheese”
Merry Christmas from the Family

Ken and Rita came from Harlingen
I can’t remember how I’m kin to them
But when they tried to plug their motor home in
They blew our Christmas lights

Cousin David knew just what went wrong
So we all waited out on our front lawn
He threw a breaker and the lights came on
And we sang Silent Night, O Holy Night.

Carve the turkey turn the ballgame on,
Make bloody marys, ‘cause we all want one
Send somebody to the stop-and-go
We need some celery and a can of fake snow
A bag of lemons and some diet sprite
A box of tampons and some Salem lights
Hallelujiah! everybody say “Cheese”
Merry Christmas from the Family


(typed from memory, bitches, so I could be wrong in spots)
post #2 of 2

That was beautiful - merry christmas to you, too!

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