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Bar-Mitzvah dress code? - Page 3

post #31 of 63
I don't know what groups of Conservative and Reform Jews you hang around with but a suit is definately de rigueur for bar/bat mitzvahs among all those that I have interacted with I'm atlas. I guess, as always, the bottom line is that no one is going to fault you for wearing a suit even if maybe you could get away with something else. Maybe I'd be more inclined to agree if outside of a major metropolitan area.
post #32 of 63
Quote:
Originally Posted by imatlas View Post

Hasidic or Lubavitch: pretty much whatever the fashionably attired gent wore in Krakow circa 1780, as long as it's black. Bonus points if your suit smells like it has never been dry cleaned.

Sounds like they're really serious about it.

Isn't their a bunch of people in the States who live in the 18th century, refuse to use electricity, etc.
post #33 of 63

Has any one brought up the issue of mold? Make sure you avoid any articles with green or red mold. Definitely a jewish faux pas. 

 

Quote: Leviticus 13 
As for any fabric that is spoiled with a defiling mold—any woolen or linen clothing,48 any woven or knitted material of linen or wool, any leather or anything made of leather— 49 if the affected area in the fabric, the leather, the woven or knitted material, or any leather article, is greenish or reddish, it is a defiling mold and must be shown to the priest.

 

 

 

 

post #34 of 63
Quote:
Originally Posted by King Solomon View Post

Has any one brought up the issue of mold? Make sure you avoid any articles with green or red mold. Definitely a jewish faux pas. 




Then Leviticus 13 goes on to say about items spoiled with green or red mold:
Quote:
50 The priest is to examine the affected area and isolate the article for seven days. 51 On the seventh day he is to examine it, and if the mold has spread in the fabric, the woven or knitted material, or the leather, whatever its use, it is a persistent defiling mold; the article is unclean. 52 He must burn the fabric, the woven or knitted material of wool or linen, or any leather article that has been spoiled; because the defiling mold is persistent, the article must be burned.

I have to admit there's some fascinating things in the Old Testament. Would any Jews actually burn their clothes because of the colour of the mold?
post #35 of 63
Quote:
Originally Posted by trigirdbers View Post

Quote:
Originally Posted by imatlas View Post

I don't think that an accurate recommendation can be made without some additional context. It's important to understand that Judaism, especially in the United States, is not a monolithic structure. In fact, there are distinct sects, each of which has developed it's own set of traditions and traditional attire for bar and bat mitzvahs (let's not forget the girls!). Here, then, is a guide to proper attire, relative to each Jewish community:
Haredi / Ultra-Orthodox: black suit, black shoes, white shirt, tassles dangling at the waist (aka tzitzit).
Hasidic or Lubavitch: pretty much whatever the fashionably attired gent wore in Krakow circa 1780, as long as it's black. Bonus points if your suit smells like it has never been dry cleaned.
Modern Orthodox: as CBD as CBD comes. Dark grey sack suit, white shirt, dark tie, black belt and shoes.
Conservative: similar to MO, but blazers or muted sports coats are permissible. "Fun" ties are acceptable, as are ties with little stars of david or chai symbols.
Reform: a much wider range of suits, sportcoats and trousers are allowed, while staying within the realm of tailored menswear. Think Episcopalian wedding attire.
Reconstructionist: similar in appearance to Reform, but with obsessive avoidance of fabrics made from a blend of materials. No Cashco for you!
Humanistic: your cleanest jeans and t-shirt, preferably one that says Peace Now! in Hebrew, with Israeli and Palestinian flags on the back.
Aquarian Minyan (this may be a Berkeley only thing): just go with what feels right, dude, it's all good!

I don't know what groups of Conservative and Reform Jews you hang around with but a suit is definately de rigueur for bar/bat mitzvahs among all those that I have interacted with.

Well, I live in San Francisco now, so all bets are off. However, my sister recently switched from the conservative shul we grew up with in Connecticut to a reform temple, and she bitches about how casually everyone dresses, even for high holiday services.
post #36 of 63
I'd say go traditional, but then again I'm not an expert.

Yitzhak-Kaduri.jpg
post #37 of 63
Quote:
Originally Posted by MikeDT View Post

Isn't their a bunch of people in the States who live in the 18th century, refuse to use electricity, etc.

Yeah, the Amish. No jewish law against electricity outside of actively using it on shabbos. Meaning, if you are orthodox you can't turn lights on and off on shabbos for example, but they can be left on from before shabbos.
post #38 of 63
Certainly interesting gear here:

W_JEWISH-420x0.jpg
post #39 of 63
Check with the family for what to wear, but a conservative suit is a safe bet.
Quote:
Originally Posted by MikeDT View Post

Then Leviticus 13 goes on to say about items spoiled with green or red mold:
I have to admit there's some fascinating things in the Old Testament. Would any Jews actually burn their clothes because of the colour of the mold?
I'm pretty sure this verse concerns tzaraat, a spiritual affliction that manifests itself in various skin discolorations. The disease would effect clothing and buildings first, then skin.
Quote:
Originally Posted by IndianBoyz View Post

Certainly interesting gear here:
W_JEWISH-420x0.jpg
Among the many Hasidic groups there are many variations in dress. On the Sabbath and holidays, all wear a shtreimel, the hat pictured above. Some wear a slightly different one that's taller and black, called a spodek. While most Hasidim wear a bekishe (a long black silk coat), the robes the guys in the picture are wearing are blue and gold striped and indicate that they live in Jerusalem.
post #40 of 63
Quote:
Originally Posted by King Solomon View Post

Has any one brought up the issue of mold? Make sure you avoid any articles with green or red mold. Definitely a jewish faux pas. 
This is incorrect; That is referring to leprosy
Quote:
Originally Posted by MikeDT View Post

Then Leviticus 13 goes on to say about items spoiled with green or red mold:
I have to admit there's some fascinating things in the Old Testament. Would any Jews actually burn their clothes because of the colour of the mold?

Again, it is referring to leprosy not mold.

I wonder when Spoo is converting lol8[1].gif
post #41 of 63
Quote:
Originally Posted by King Solomon View Post

Has any one brought up the issue of mold? Make sure you avoid any articles with green or red mold. Definitely a jewish faux pas. 
Taken somewhat out of context, but that aside -

Your question seems to suggest that you believe it's okay to wear moldy clothing to non-Jewish religious ceremonies. Whereas I would think this to be something of a faux pas across most religious lines.

("Chuck, I'd be honored to serve as your best man. And since you're getting married at the Cathedral of Mary Our Queen, and not at Temple Beth Shalom, I think I'll wear my charcoal suit with the visible green mold.")
--
Michael
post #42 of 63
Quote:
Originally Posted by Man Of Lint View Post

I agree with a suit. Very important day where a boy becomes a young man.
A tip for Gentile guests (if applicable)...
On wearing a Kippah (or Yarmulke), If you are a gentile (non Jew) and the service is in a reformed temple you probably don't need to wear one, but if it is a conservative temple, then wear one. Wearing one in either setting is a sign of respect to God and the hosts. Some services have them available for guests at the door. If you are able to check with the host beforehand, do so. I always wear one myself at such events.

I attended one once

Didnt put the hat on and during the ceremony some woman behind me (say this out loud in a NY accent) said "what, no yamaka?"

So, 12 years old and embarrassed I went to this box where you borrow one and put it on. I lacked experience because after about 10 minutes it fell off the back of my head and dropped into the aisle behind me. Some dude picked it up and handed it to me. I kept it next to me.
post #43 of 63
Quote:
Originally Posted by allaboutshoes View Post

This is incorrect; That is referring to leprosy
Again, it is referring to leprosy not mold.

its not really leprosy that the verse is referring to either. its a spiritual affliction that manifests itself physically. since it sounds similar in description to leprosy it is often referred to as such. however, that too is really a misnomer.
Quote:
Originally Posted by 12345Michael54321 View Post

("Chuck, I'd be honored to serve as your best man. And since you're getting married at the Cathedral of Mary Our Queen, and not at Temple Beth Shalom, I think I'll wear my charcoal suit with the visible green mold.")
--
Michael

laugh.gif
Quote:
Originally Posted by idfnl View Post

I attended one once
Didnt put the hat on and during the ceremony some woman behind me (say this out loud in a NY accent) said "what, no yamaka?"
So, 12 years old and embarrassed I went to this box where you borrow one and put it on. I lacked experience because after about 10 minutes it fell off the back of my head and dropped into the aisle behind me. Some dude picked it up and handed it to me. I kept it next to me.

too bad you had to be embarrassed like that. someone should have quietly and politely helped you out. i hate when things like that happen.
post #44 of 63

Quote:

Originally Posted by in stitches View Post

too bad you had to be embarrassed like that. someone should have quietly and politely helped you out. i hate when things like that happen.


+1. such behavior is not condoned. 

post #45 of 63
Quote:
Originally Posted by davesmith View Post

Quote:


+1. such behavior is not condoned. 

Eh, makes for a decent story today.

She said that shit loooouuuud too, it came from a few rows back. I'm sure people in a 10 row radius heard it.
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