I'd never wear a flower to a wedding these days unless in the wedding party and instructed. Whether we like it or not, it is a signifier of things and I don't want to break protocol.
The State of Black Tie: Your Observations - Page 82
Styleforum Top Picks
After the ceremony I pluck one from the ceremony arrangements or from the table centerpieces. I am sure that is bad taste, but no one has ever stopped me or complained (to my face).
Hmm...just went to an event hosted by my fraternity. The dress code was black tie, although knowing them, I didn't think they knew what they were talking about. But I didn't give a duck and attended in black tie anyway, and as expected, was the only one wearing what could be considered black tie. Not even the guy who set the dress code.
Yes, I'm still in college, in the fraternity. The others mostly wore suits. I might have seen a few odd jackets; wasn't paying much attention, although one guy had a tux, but with a not-white shirt, not-black vest (not a waistcoat), and a patterned not-black bowtie.
Berate them for looking like assholes. That usually works with my friends.
If I understand button-up shirt to mean a standard white dress shirt, I'd say never. Wear a shirt that takes cufflinks and studs. Either the french cuff or link cuff variety. No barrel cuffs. A tuxedo shirt should be different from a plain white dress shirt.
Are you referring to the marcella style front by "stiff-front?" If so, a shirt in that style is perfectly fine to wear with black tie as is a shirt with tasteful pleats.
I wear a shirt with a fly front, meaning the buttons are covered. It takes cufflinks, but not studs, and the front is smooth with no pleats and nothing but the fly front placket covering the buttons. I would urge you not wear barrel cuffs - links are really required - and to avoid showing regular buttons (either studs or hidden buttons).
Stiff fronts are not only for white tie, but make black-tie even more formal. And would probably look silly with a DB tux, though I won't swear to it. If you are using a single button peak lapel DJ, stiff front with a detachable wing collar can look great.
My Oxxford DB (6 x 2) does not have covered buttons. Af first, I was a bit put off by that, as my prior dinner jackets all had covered buttons, but I've learned to live with it . . . .