I dumped it in the middle of the subway car, sat in it, changed my job to performance artist, and am currently awaiting for the National Endowment for the Arts to throw money at me.
(I discretely left it near a trash can)
On another note, I'm either a hero or an asshole depending which side of my shoulder you are on.
From now on, any time someone tries to get on a crowded train as people are beginning to exit (10+ people trying to get out minimum), I am slamming them with my shoulder. The degree of slam will depend on age, gender, and generally how much I dislike the way they look. Women over the age of 65 are exempt from my shoulder, as are men over 70. I've done this on accident in the past (incidental contact, then added a bit of emphasis). Today, I actually went after the guy. It felt good. It felt REEEAAAALLLL good.
This is my new policy. Can anyone think of a reason to abandon it?