Subway and Public Transportation Etiquette - The People We Encounter

patrickBOOTH said:

I don't know if I mentioned this, but I had one of the most memorable train rides about a year and a half ago. I was in between renting an apartment and waiting for my closing on a condo and I stayed with my girlfriend for about a month in Midwood, Brooklyn where she lived at the time. The ride is about an hour from Manhattan and I wanted to kill myself for that month, however one Friday night going back on the Q train at about 11pm the ride was much more enjoyable.
When you get on the Q it is initally very crowded and by the time it gets out there in Brooklyn, not so much. I was standing holding the pole talking to my g/f and this kid behind me kept bumping into me. I looked at him and it appeared that he had down's syndrome, or some other disability so it didn't bother me so much. Anyway, the train is emptying out and the only people left standing are my g/f and I and this kid. Only, the kid turned around to face me, but he is not a kid at all. He is about a 4 foot tall Spanish guy wasted beyond belief who is having trouble standing and moving about in the train. I immediately step away from him because I don't want him vomiting all over me.
So, everybody is watching this little homunculus. He is moving slowly and making the weirdest facial expressions that I have ever seen. It is like he was straining to see straight because he was so drunk. So, everybody is still in amusement over him, and he drops his ipod onto the floor by the pole. He had the headphones in his ears still, but he was so short the cord reached the ground no problem and didn't yank the music out of his ears. So he is trying to reach down to pick it up and support his drunken body with the pole and just stays halfway leaning on the pole trying to grab it for a while and drooling all over the floor. I am thinking to myself, "oh no, this guy is going to explode with vomit any second." Nope, he gets it, puts it in his pocket and then walks down the train with his face nearly pressed up to other people's face, all wobbly, googly-eyed, and drooling. Then he gets to this smoking hot chick, skimpy summer outfit, giant ****, and he is just standing in front of her for a while. She's just sort of sitting awkwardly, and then he sticks his hand down his track pants and starts playing with himself. As soon as he starts doing this he falls on top of her and this older lady next to the girl with a push cart in front of her pushes him away and he falls on the floor. He slowly gets up, struggling and starts punching her pushcart, and punching the pole. Too drunk to be strong, or cause damage, so it was just comical. Finally to top off the evening, he takes his dick out and starts pissing all over the floor. I was laughing ****** off. As the train was moving the piss was running everywhere. He finally got off at the stop before ours. Everybody bonded on the train that night and the commute seemed much shorter thanks to him.

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Fang66 said:

TLDNR, sumary please.

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whiteslashasian said:

Kinda long winded but a funny story.
Drunk midget hispanic guy bumps into pB, jerks off while staring at a hot chick with big boobs, and then pisses all over the place.
I really don't like to walk all the way across the island, if I can help it. I take the L from 8th ave to 1st about once a month. I don't see the harm in it. The m14 is GARBAGE. the m23 on the other hand is wonderful.

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whiteslashasian said:

Kinda long winded but a funny story.
Drunk midget hispanic guy bumps into pB, jerks off while staring at a hot chick with big boobs, and then pisses all over the place.
I really don't like to walk all the way across the island, if I can help it. I take the L from 8th ave to 1st about once a month. I don't see the harm in it. The m14 is GARBAGE. the m23 on the other hand is wonderful.

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patrickBOOTH said:

I don't know if I mentioned it in here, but a friend of mine tried to reason with one of these psychos that for no reason was spouting out the most unbelievably racist things you have ever heard. My friend, while he means well, is an idiot for such an attempt. You cannot reason with crazy people. His night ended up in the hospital getting a rabies shot and stitched up from the chunk of flesh that was bitten off of him. Yep, this happened.

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patrickBOOTH said:

I hate buses. They for poor people and cripples.

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Fang66 said:

And bus drivers are arseholes.

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patrickBOOTH said:

I couldn't agree more. I get to my office at about 7:30 and there are these jolly old dickheads who have been in the office greeting the day since like 5:30. **** them.

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patrickBOOTH said:

I hate buses.

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Ty_Webb said:

I had an interesting experience on the shuttle the other day (goes from Times Square to Grand Central and back again - it's also probably the busiest bit of subway in the system). Getting on at track four and there are about 7 or 8 people in front of me. One of them decides that she wants to stand by the door, so she just stands there, blocking half the doorway while dozens of people are trying to get on behind her. I squeeze past her, saying something under my breath. Then I hear some guy saying something like "hey people, move into the middle so everyone can get in" and this other woman says "yeah, about time someone said something" and continued muttering fairly loudly about people not moving into the middle as she squeezed in past the woman in the doorway. At this point, the woman in the doorway pipes up with "maybe I'm not moving into the middle because I don't want to. I want to stand here." I was this close || to pointing out to her that she is everything that is wrong with the world. So unbelievably ******* selfish. Then the woman who was doing the muttering said "I wasn't even talking about you, so you can just shut up". Classic stuff. Rarely do I wish ill on people, but she was a total see you next tuesday.

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Ty_Webb said:

I had an interesting experience on the shuttle the other day (goes from Times Square to Grand Central and back again - it's also probably the busiest bit of subway in the system). Getting on at track four and there are about 7 or 8 people in front of me. One of them decides that she wants to stand by the door, so she just stands there, blocking half the doorway while dozens of people are trying to get on behind her. I squeeze past her, saying something under my breath. Then I hear some guy saying something like "hey people, move into the middle so everyone can get in" and this other woman says "yeah, about time someone said something" and continued muttering fairly loudly about people not moving into the middle as she squeezed in past the woman in the doorway. At this point, the woman in the doorway pipes up with "maybe I'm not moving into the middle because I don't want to. I want to stand here." I was this close || to pointing out to her that she is everything that is wrong with the world. So unbelievably ******* selfish. Then the woman who was doing the muttering said "I wasn't even talking about you, so you can just shut up". Classic stuff. Rarely do I wish ill on people, but she was a total see you next tuesday.

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patrickBOOTH said:

I had an awkward subway ride today. I walk onto the train and I am already out of sorts because of the rain and such and then I see sitting down next to where I am standing this girl I hooked up with once or twice going on 4 years ago. At the time she said she didn't have facebook because it brings out the crazy in her. Two days later she added me on it. Let me tell you. I don't think it was facebook that made her crazy, she was a ******* psycho, plain and simple.

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Fang66 said:

So did you re-tap that?

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