Personal Questions time: what is your relationship with your fathers and brother(s) like? - Page 3

Originally Posted by nootje 

no brother, and my father kicked me out of the house at 14. We still have some contact, but none of my parents are allowed into my life. It seems that every time I've tried to make them a part of it they either intentionally or unintentionally fuck it up.
Have one sister, but hardly any contact with her either. She chose for the family money, and now suffers for it.

Originally Posted by MrG 

My relationship with my dad was, for the majority of my life, terrible. My dad is/was an alcoholic womanizer who basically abandoned us when my brother and I were around four and seven, respectively. My mom did her best to foster some type of a relationship between my brother, my father, and me, but, because of my dad's BS, my relationship with him was generally somewhere between strained and nonexistent. Oddly enough, my brother was pretty close with my dad during his teen years, largely, I think, because my dad liked him better than me, and my brother was too young to really remember the horrible shit my dad did before he left.
Recently, however, my dad and I have had a better relationship. I've done my best to get over the shitty stuff he's done, and he has, in his own way, at least tried to apologize somewhat (though he's still in denial about a lot of his shortcomings, both as a man and a father). It also helps that I've changed my expectations of him. We're really good at talking about cooking, music, and sports while telling funny stories over Budweiser, and I'm OK with that being our relationship. That said, I would never trust him as far as I can throw him.
On the brother question, I have one full brother who is three years younger than me, and he is one of my best friends. We often didn't get along well when we were younger (though we were fiercely loyal to one another), but we've gotten very, very close since our late teens/early 20s. I also have, I think, five half brothers through my father. My relationships with them range from "pretty good" to "I've never met him and can't remember his name right now."
I'm very envious of those of you who have fathers who served as mentors and role models. I'm working very hard to do everything I can to have that type of relationship with my son.

Originally Posted by patrickBOOTH 

My hands also look exactly like his.

Originally Posted by Rambo 

You say the weirdest shit Patrick.

Originally Posted by Rambo 


You say the weirdest shit Patrick.

Originally Posted by lasbar 

14???
How did you survive???
Must have been hard..

Originally Posted by nootje 

State sponsored homes, so the surviving part wasnt that hard. Staying of drugs and eventually getting a uni degree however was.
One trick I found usefull was to stop seeing my parents as parents but just as humans. it keeps you from having expectations, and a bit more wary about their intentions.

Originally Posted by whiteslashasian 

My father is a very complex man, which doesn't come across at first glance. He's the strongest person I know, kind, amiable, sacrifice and hard work are his virtues. He's intelligent, inquisitive, always wants to learn new things (even at 62). He's the handiest person I know. His heart knows no bounds.
I'm pretty sure I've been slowly "turning into" him. It's not a bad thing, just not something I saw coming until recently. Hell, I even started to use some of his favorite corny phrases that I made fun of as a kid.
We have a great relationship. I see him several times a month, at least.
I had to play a sort of father role for my younger brothers as my dad took a job in NYC when I was 11. This meant he lived and worked in NYC 4 nights / 5 days a week. I had to do all the yard work, light maintenance around the house, keep an eye on my brothers, make sure they did homework, played nice, made it home in time for dinner, taught them how to play baseball, worked summers so I could buy a video game or new Console and let them play more than me, enforce rules my mom placed on us, etc. Managing them in a father/brother role was difficult, but I managed to pull it off somehow, and grew up very quickly as a result. I still love hanging out and joking around with my brothers. We all have fairly similar interests and senses of humor which makes things natural for us. They still come to me for advice if they feel they can't talk to the parents about it and I still give unsolicited advice when I feel they need it. My mom said the reason we're so similar is because they've looked up to me their whole lives and do what I do because they know it's a good way to do it; which was exactly what I did with my dad.
I'm happy with the relationships I have with my father and brothers.

Originally Posted by Big Pun 

I feel bad for my dad, all he does is work. He never spent time or got to know me or my brothers, I was never taught by him how to tune up cars, play sports, etc like other kids. Maybe the occasional asswhoopin He always makes such poor financial decisions, (for example buying a house in Naples, FL right around the time the housing market was peaking) so they are always and forever will be in debt. We never discuss anything outside of money.
My oldest bro is 10 years my senior, so we never bonded much. But currently I'm renting from him and his woman before I go to basic, so we're starting to become friends over a mutual interest of weightlifting and blackjack.
Next oldest brother is long gone.
My older brother by 3 years is completely estranged from family. Growing up he was always sadistic towards me, and he is the most unbalanced fucked up person ever. I blame all my character flaws on subconsciously emulating his behavior. He dropped out of HS, so he attended an ALC with the pregnant bitches and volcano worshipers, barely passed that so he joined army to straighten out his life. Will potentially never speak to him again. Pretty sure he is a cattle rapist.
I don't know if it's a white people thing, or American thing to have a cold family relationship. Latinos and Asians I know are all tight knit with their kin. I don't know how things are in Europe.

Originally Posted by in stitches 

my father is without a doubt the biggest role model in my life. i cant express how much i love and respect him. i plan on grabbing coffee with him later today.
i have 4 brothers. ages 15,19, 25 and 27. they are all very diferent in nature and where they are headed in their lives. i have a good close relationship with all of them. although it is a very complex relationship, i am definitely closest with the one who is 27. we are less than 2 years apart and have been thick as theives since childhood.
i am very proud and thankful for the family relationships i have, and it is not something i take for granted in the slightest.