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Big relationship trouble! - Page 6

post #76 of 142
Quote:
Originally Posted by imageWIS
It could be worse, she could have been sleeping 10 hours a day (i.e. has depression), was completely confused as to what she wanted in life (relationship, friends, school, direction, etc…), bi-polar, and chemically imbalanced due to taking a large amount of drugs (ecstasy, a lot, lot of coke, LSD, etc…) from the ages of 15-18 and still occasionally doing drugs and could have gone completely mental on you. Cus it happened to me this week, so trust me, it could be a lot worse. And even in my case, it could have been a lot worse… i.e. at least this didn’t happen a year from now. Just consider yourself lucky that its over and move on, there are another 3 billion fish in the sea, you WILL find someone else, trust me. Jon.
I went through something similar for a long time, I started dating her when I was young (17, she was 22). to the OP You are young dude, find out who you are before you really want to bother with buying girls expensive shit. Trust me the time of when you are 15-21 you learn a lot about yourself (college helps, it opens a world of opportunity) also you will get over the self hating "Im So Ugly" Stage. Hang out here and you will quickly be on track to being a Confident, Well Dressed, Bastard who looks too good for where he is (for me its college, I look out of place and people stare at me every day but I look good and I know I do so I feel good about myself. I could be sooo Knee Deep In Japanese girls if I wanted to... even if I didnt want to, but I prefer to keep with one girl nowadays.) Go out and experience lots of different people, dont limit yourself till you are older and ready to settle down. Its not like there is a huge war that is a threat to your immediate life and you need to bang a girl/get married before you get drafted or anything. Take your Time, Enjoy yourself, and remember American Girls like AssHoles especially HS girls. PS welcome to the boards
post #77 of 142
Quote:
Originally Posted by j


Bitches, man!

I have no idea where the ref is from.

Jon.
post #78 of 142
Quote:
Originally Posted by ratboycom
Take your Time, Enjoy yourself, and remember American Girls like AssHoles especially HS girls.



That says it all.

Jon.
post #79 of 142
Thread Starter 
Sorry for the late reply, my internet took a vacation.

Quote:
At 15, don't look for seriously relationships, just go out and have fun. And what you do with stuck-up materialistic bitches is bang the living daylights out of them.
I will say this once, I AM LOOKING FOR A SERIOUS RELATIONSHIP. I am not going out in search of loose women to take to bed with me for a night. Not only is that shallow, that is disrespectful. I want someone I can actually have something in common with and be able to do other things with, not just have some fun in bed.

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Your regard for women, ladies or in this instance girls is profoundly ingnorant and disgusting.
Agreed. I'll just forget about Jon's comment, we can move on from that

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Yes, a mature man should find a mature woman, but at 15 that's going to be hard to do
Now that is some advice I can work with! The thing is that I have found a very mature girl and that is why I don't want to lose her over one dumbass mistake I made.

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to the outside world I reserve my heart in closed quarters, only to be opened when the time is obviously right, and not a movement too soon.
I do the same. I am an entirely different person when I am alone with someone I trust out of the public view (aka my peers).

Quote:
Ahh come on boys. We were all 15 once and know exactly how amplified everything feels at that age. I dont think that any of us hasnt been in exactly the place he is now.
I know pretty much everyone has been in this same situation but it is obviously hard for every single person that has been through it! It does seem pathetically amplified to me, I know I shouldn't be as worried about it as I am but I can't help it!

Quote:
Hang out here and you will quickly be on track to being a Confident, Well Dressed, Bastard who looks too good for where he is
Sounds good to me I still don't see anyone at my school walking around in a J. Crew sweater except me, I don't see anything wrong with that. I want to produce a more dignified aura around myself

Quote:
I prefer to keep with one girl nowadays
I want to be the same way. One girl is enough for me. That way I can devote myself to her instead of having to go between different people.

Again thanks for the help guys, it is appreciated.

Brian
post #80 of 142
A good book and a solid coffee routine.
post #81 of 142
Quote:
Originally Posted by imageWIS
It could be worse, she could have been sleeping 10 hours a day (i.e. has depression), was completely confused as to what she wanted in life (relationship, friends, school, direction, etc...), bi-polar, and chemically imbalanced due to taking a large amount of drugs (ecstasy, a lot, lot of coke, LSD, etc...) from the ages of 15-18 and still occasionally doing drugs and could have gone completely mental on you.
Do you know my ex?
post #82 of 142
Quote:
Originally Posted by Lucky Strike
Do you know my ex?

We might be talking about the same chick, lol.

Jon.
post #83 of 142
Quote:
Originally Posted by JetBlast
I will say this once, I AM LOOKING FOR A SERIOUS RELATIONSHIP. I am not going out in search of loose women to take to bed with me for a night. Not only is that shallow, that is disrespectful.
I disagree - there's no disrespect inherent in casual sex. Shallowness, yes, but everything in life doesn't have to be profound. Of course, I'm Scandinavian, though.
Quote:
Originally Posted by JetBlast
I want someone I can actually have something in common with and be able to do other things with, not just have some fun in bed.
And you most probably will. I know a very few couples who have stayed together since they were teens, and I cannot help thinking that they've missed out on a lot, even though they seem happy. It's like teenage pregnancies - they basically rob you of your finest years. Serious relationships can be put on hold for the time in your life where you really need them, and where they make sense. Like many of the posters here, I went through the purgatory of unrequited love in my teens. It's a world of shit, but it improves. And regarding this particular girl - sorry but it seems you're done there. Move on, and go sow some oats. I was cured, allright.
post #84 of 142
The following Qs are not facetious:

Not to denigrate anyone or anything, but to clarify terms, what constitutes a "serious relationship" at age 15?

Why do you believe you "have found a very mature girl"?

Quote:
I know pretty much everyone has been in this same situation but it is obviously hard for every single person that has been through it! It does seem pathetically amplified to me, I know I shouldn't be as worried about it as I am but I can't help it!

A little worry isn't a bad thing. Delusion is. I'm not suggesting that you are delusional. But be clear as you can be with regards to what you are seeking. You want one girl. Does she want one guy? Is this intended to be an exclusive relationship? College demands time. You won't see one another every day. Personal horizons and goals typically expand, often quickly.

from another poster:
Quote:
I disagree - there's no disrespect inherent in casual sex. Shallowness, yes, but everything in life doesn't have to be profound.

I agree that "there's no disrespect inherent in casual sex." However, I disagree that there's inherent shallowness. There can be. But that depends on unique individuals' behavior. I agree that all in life needn't be profound.

Quote:
I want someone I can actually have something in common with and be able to do other things with, not just have some fun in bed....

One girl is enough for me. That way I can devote myself to her instead of having to go between different people.

There are many persons with which one will find "something in common." Many will be mature, too. A good number of these will give back what you give. Be introspective and go with your instincts. This is not necessarily what your heart or what your head is telling you, though that obviously figures in. Tempered influence though. What's 'right' for one may or may not be 'right' for another, you know. Is the person you desire able and willing to devote herself to you? If not, how are you benefitting from what then appears to be a very one-sided relationship?

Do you really know yourself? Do you really know her? Do you really know what you want?
post #85 of 142
Thread Starter 
Quote:
Not to denigrate anyone or anything, but to clarify terms, what constitutes a "serious relationship" at age 15?
Good question. For me personally a serious relationship is with someone you can imagine spending the rest of your life with. If you can't imagine that, I think that it is just a temporary fling.

Quote:
Why do you believe you "have found a very mature girl"?
She is caring, compassionate, not materialistic, and overall a very sweet girl. I can talk to her about other stuff than gossip and stuff around school, in fact we like to talk about world news and traveling a lot. She is serious about her work here at the paper and makes sure everything she does is something she can put her name to and not be embarrassed, and to be honest I think she is one of the best writers we have ever had here (no bias intended). I don't know exactly what it is about her, I was just mesmorized by her!

Quote:
A little worry isn't a bad thing. Delusion is. I'm not suggesting that you are delusional. But be clear as you can be with regards to what you are seeking. You want one girl. Does she want one guy? Is this intended to be an exclusive relationship? College demands time. You won't see one another every day. Personal horizons and goals typically expand, often quickly.
She has said that she only wants one guy. I'm not sure what you mean by "exclusive relationship", but if you mean monogamous, than yes. Just the two of us and no one else. We both know what is going to happen through college, and I promised her I would keep in touch, and we both know where we want to go in life so to speak. I want to be a commercial pilot, she wants to be a photojournalist, and she is planning her college around that just as I will be going to an aviation-related school. College is going to be rough

Quote:
There are many persons with which one will find "something in common." Many will be mature, too. A good number of these will give back what you give. Be introspective and go with your instincts. This is not necessarily what your heart or what your head is telling you, though that obviously figures in. Tempered influence though. What's 'right' for one may or may not be 'right' for another, you know. Is the person you desire able and willing to devote herself to you? If not, how are you benefitting from what then appears to be a very one-sided relationship?
For now my instinct is to try and get back together with this girl, I will have to prove to her who I really am and try to start this thing back up again. I feel (not to sound full of myself here) that I am right for her but that is only from what I know. I know I can treat her right and love her, and she said to me that she "likes me more than friends" so I guess I did something right at some point. I remember she also said after I told her that I wasn't honest that "she loves me but is very mad at me right now" which I understand of course. I am benefitting just a little bit by realizing that there may be a little bit of hope left and that I may be with her someday, but if we get back together before she leaves I will truly feel better.

Quote:
Do you really know yourself? Do you really know her? Do you really know what you want?
I know myself and I know her, and I know what I want in a relationship.

Brian
post #86 of 142
Quote:
We both know what is going to happen through college, and I promised her I would keep in touch, and we both know where we want to go in life so to speak.

I don't mean to discourage you but the truth is promises are broken more often than they're kept. At your age, I wouldn't be making any promises because things change a lot when you grow older. Believe it or not, it might just be you who will change your feelings about her. My ex and I were making many promises , we were in our 20's and I can assure you we felt exactly the way you and your girl do now, you know, the feeling of complete trust in each other and such. But then a few months later, she quit it cold, told me in the face that "I'm not a rock, I change." I gotta tell you it fucking hurts, I was never that hurt in my life.

Quote:
She has said that she only wants one guy.

Girls always say that.

Quote:
For now my instinct is to try and get back together with this girl, I will have to prove to her who I really am and try to start this thing back up again.

Girls like her want shelter, can you provide her a shelter later on in her life? Note that she's 3 years older than you, when she graduates from college and got a job, she'll definitely want to settle down. I'm sure you know there're tons of guys who can provide her with the things she needs. How are you going to compete?

Whatever you decide though, good luck
post #87 of 142
Have you laughed so hard you can't sleep for two days yet?
post #88 of 142
Quote:
Originally Posted by JetBlast
Good question. For me personally a serious relationship is with someone you can imagine spending the rest of your life with. If you can't imagine that, I think that it is just a temporary fling.


She is caring, compassionate, not materialistic, and overall a very sweet girl. I can talk to her about other stuff than gossip and stuff around school, in fact we like to talk about world news and traveling a lot. She is serious about her work here at the paper and makes sure everything she does is something she can put her name to and not be embarrassed, and to be honest I think she is one of the best writers we have ever had here (no bias intended). I don't know exactly what it is about her, I was just mesmorized by her!


She has said that she only wants one guy. I'm not sure what you mean by "exclusive relationship", but if you mean monogamous, than yes. Just the two of us and no one else. We both know what is going to happen through college, and I promised her I would keep in touch, and we both know where we want to go in life so to speak. I want to be a commercial pilot, she wants to be a photojournalist, and she is planning her college around that just as I will be going to an aviation-related school. College is going to be rough


For now my instinct is to try and get back together with this girl, I will have to prove to her who I really am and try to start this thing back up again. I feel (not to sound full of myself here) that I am right for her but that is only from what I know. I know I can treat her right and love her, and she said to me that she "likes me more than friends" so I guess I did something right at some point. I remember she also said after I told her that I wasn't honest that "she loves me but is very mad at me right now" which I understand of course. I am benefitting just a little bit by realizing that there may be a little bit of hope left and that I may be with her someday, but if we get back together before she leaves I will truly feel better.


I know myself and I know her, and I know what I want in a relationship.

Brian

Kid, sounds to me like you need a Kickin' Chickin' session. When I was a wee lad, oh about your age, I had a pact with my buddies. Any of us could convoke a Kickin' Chickin' session. That meant we would sit at a kitchen table with a big bottle of Wild Turkey 101 and do shots until we were completely hammered. If someone had something big they were wrestling with, they could convoke a session. Best therapy you could find.
post #89 of 142
Quote:
Originally Posted by Stu
Kid, sounds to me like you need a Kickin' Chickin' session. When I was a wee lad, oh about your age, I had a pact with my buddies. Any of us could convoke a Kickin' Chickin' session. That meant we would sit at a kitchen table with a big bottle of Wild Turkey 101 and do shots until we were completely hammered. If someone had something big they were wrestling with, they could convoke a session. Best therapy you could find.


hey,Stu, that's wierd, I had a similar thing with Wild Turkey shots and decisions with my friends at that age, too.
post #90 of 142
Quote:
Originally Posted by globetrotter
hey,Stu, that's wierd, I had a similar thing with Wild Turkey shots and decisions with my friends at that age, too.

And now we've graduated to cognac and cigars on the veranda overlooking the skyline
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