Desperately Need Some Serious Advice; Life is Slipping Away

Hi all,

I am at a cross road and I need some direction, and as sad as it may be I don't have anyone in my life who I trust to give me a real life advice, so I turn to my fellow SFers.

I graduated 2 years ago with a degree in Architecture and Construction Management (B.S) and I currently work for a NYC gov agency. My job is in my field, but with no real future and the experience I get here doesn't count for much in the real Arch and Const world. I like architecture, but I'm starting to see that it may not be what I want to do with my life, and I don't think I have that "something extra" which any successful architect would need. I will admit I am not the most talented designer and my strengthens lay elsewhere. In order for me to get my arch license I need to accumulate 3-5 years of work experience which will be reflected in credits I must submit before qualifying for the exam. I cant get a job anywhere in Arch right now (not many jobs and competition is INSANE) and the prospect of me sitting for the exam seems farther and farther.

I have no idea if what I want to do as an alternate career; the only thing I see myself do and enjoy is Psychology and Psychiatry, which I like and think I have a knack for, but the former is not any better jobs wise, and the latter is 10 years in Med school, which I don't want to do. My other option is grad school for either Construction Management, Real Estate or MBA, but I fear that my GPA will hinder me, since I had some bad grades in 5 credit Arch courses which brought it down. I have almost all A's and B's in most classes, but 4-5 of these bad grades are killing me. (Its just bellow 3.0 due to this). [Will schools look at my GPA as a whole or will they take into account that it is lower becuase of some classes I wont really be using and look at the positive ones?]

I am 25, and I am starting to see my life slipping away; I don't make much money at my current job and I live alone and have student loans and bills (like most of us I am sure). I don't see myself getting a job in an Arch firm, I don't know if I can get into a good Grad program and the prospect of even more debt is scary. I am very bored with my life right now, and I really need to shake something up before its too late and I end up a depressed 30 something with a dead end job and no flavor for life.

Any suggestions or advice will be very appreciated; most of my family live overseas and are not very connected to today's reality anyway, and I don't think my friends have any true insight or can give me some real advice.

Sorry for the wall of text and thanks in advance.

Looks like you want your cake and you want to eat it too.

You gotta make a choice and none if your options are easy.

Just need to buck up and do the hard things to get what you want (which seems to me like it's psych or what not)



Pinhas said:

(...)
I have no idea if what I want to do as an alternate career; the only thing I see myself do and enjoy is Psychology and Psychiatry, which I like and think I have a knack for, but the former is not any better jobs wise, and the latter is 10 years in Med school, which I dont want to do. My other option is grad school for either Construction Management, Real Estate or MBA, but I fear that my GPA will hinder me, since I had some bad grades in 5 credit Arch courses which brought it down. I have almost all A's and B's in most classes, but 4-5 of these bad grades are killing me. (Its just bellow 3.0 due to this). [Will schools look at my GPA as a whole or will they take into account that it is lower becuase of some classes I wont really be using and look at the positive ones?

I am 25, and I am starting to see my life slipping away; I dont make much money at my current job and I live alone and have student loans and bills (like most of us I am sure). I dont see myself getting a job in an Arch firm, I dont know if I can get into a good Grad program and the prospect of even more debt is scary. I am very bored with my life right now, and I really need to shake something up before its too late and I end up a depressed 30 something with a dead end job and no flavor for life.
(...)

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Despite the downbeat tone, there is a lot of good news in your situation. First, you have a good assessment of where you are and what you're facing - and you're honest about your parameters as far as what you can tolerate in terms of changing things.

All that said, I would advocate small steps here: try volunteer work as a means to network and get a spring back in your step. Find something you can buy into and have skills for - Habitat for Humanity comes to mind, particularly as an architecture grad. Or maybe something else - keep your eyes open and follow the leads that catch your eye.

Be sure to network while volunteering: a job isn't going to come to you from the internet but rather the people you meet. Get known for altruism and work ethic, and your GPA and current position tend to diminish in impact. Good luck!

here's what I'd do - you know how to build **** (at least theoreticlaly) you're single, young and poor. look for a job with an international project company - build buildings on oil wells, or bridges in the middle of africa or **** like that. if you can't get a job like that, look into an NGO and go build **** in haiti or sudan. get a few more years experience and some cool stories under your belt.

plan B, maybe less basass, but pretty good too - look into selling something that arcetects buy, possibly hospital arcetects. learn how to sell, there is good money in that.

good luck



Thomas said:

Find something you can buy into and have skills for - Habitat for Humanity comes to mind, particularly as an architecture grad.

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I actually was looking at things such as Peace Corp, Architects Without Borders and even the NYC teaching fellowship, but with most I stop at the questions: "who will take care of your student loans?"

I know that I need a change, but it all seems so much that I don't know where to start. I guess that somewhere deep down I am afraid of making even more mistakes and choosing another wrong path.

If I do choose Grad school, what are some things that I an do that will overshadow my GPA and bolster my chances of getting in.

globetrotter said:

here's what I'd do - you know how to build **** (at least theoreticlaly) you're single, young and poor. look for a job with an international project company - build buildings on oil wells, or bridges in the middle of africa or **** like that. if you can't get a job like that, look into an NGO and go build **** in haiti or sudan. get a few more years experience and some cool stories under your belt.
plan B, maybe less basass, but pretty good too - look into selling something that arcetects buy, possibly hospital arcetects. learn how to sell, there is good money in that.
good luck

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Another great point which I recently thought a lot about. I want to travel and experience the world, and lately I am leaning to this option more and more. I don't mind living under tough conditions and I truly believe that the stories and experiences one gets by working overseas and in "odd" places are extremely valuable, and give a person a kind of real world understanding, something that many young people today lack. My only fear with this plan is that I will be putting my "career" on hold, but its really all about finding the right job.



Pinhas said:

I actually was looking at things such as Peace Corp, Architects Without Borders and even the NYC teaching fellowship, but with most I stop at the questions: "who will take care of your student loans?"
I know that I need a change, but it all seems so much that I don't know where to start. I guess that somewhere deep down I am afraid of making even more mistakes and choosing another wrong path.
If I do choose Grad school, what are some things that I an do that will overshadow my GPA and bolster my chances of getting in.

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Well, Habitat for Humanity is - as far as I know - not a job, but a volunteer organization who takes people when they get them. Maybe you do a one-week stint with them while you're on vacay from your employer. Perhaps your employer offers time off for this sort of thing (volunteering). After a day or two, if you haven't met at least a few people, then you're doing it wrong.

But the bigger issue is that I would question whether you really need such a drastic change: I think if you get into a better environment, you won't find the need to scrap your degree. At least, start from that premise and build upon what you already have.

As for b-school, I had a 2.8-ish GPA coming out of undergrad (did better on my electives than my major - how's that for a sign to move into something different!), but I had about 10 years' work experience, in three companies, with management experience and letters for the CEO and Sr. VP. And I hammered the GMAT, so getting in was almost a foregone conclusion.

My advice:

Without second thought, move out of New York. Go to a second tier city with lower costs of living, less competition, and booming population. Try to get an architecture job in a larger firm that makes boring architecture to pay the bills. You will have a much easier time getting a job and will have a better idea of whether you have a future in architecture. Big firms are good places to test your abilities. You'll also have an easier time chipping away at your debts. Look at places like these below. If you insist on being in New York, it's just not going to work out, because it would mean you're less concerned about your work than your job (which is fine). It's not for everybody, and second guessing yourself is probably indicative that you should be doing something else. There are too many people willing to go the extra mile for less in return. If you can't get a job in these cities, move on to another career and cut your losses. You may also find yourself really liking these places.

Charlotte
Atlanta
Louisville
Nashville
Houston
Dallas
San Antonio
Kansas City
Milwaukee
Denver
St. Louis
Salt Lake City
Portland
Cincinnati
Columbus

Avoid:

Chicago
Boston
Los Angeles
Detroit
Cleveland
San Francisco
Seattle
Philadelphia
Phoenix
Miami

I can't offer anything constructive, but I will say that you are not alone. I'm only a couple years older than you, but I feel like I've basically wasted my twenties staring at spreadsheets and placating people I couldn't give a **** about.

You're still young, and you're fully conscious of your situation unlike most people in your bling bling wanna-get-laid demographic. There're some smart people on this board, take their advice. But don't be so hard on yourself; things work themselves out in the end.

Good luck!

I second Globetrotter's advice.

**** off. You are 25 and have a job. Meet a girl. fall in love, get drunk etc.



bringusingoodale said:

**** off. You are 25 and have a job. Meet a girl. fall in love, get drunk etc.

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The quarter-life crisis, many people go through it, including myself. You leave university, get a job, a place to live, everything's fun, you're rushed off your feet and the world's your oyster, but then after a couple of years it dawns on you that this is it, your whole life mapped out. Suddenly you think "**** - do I really want to do this for the rest of my life?" The idea maybe sounded fun when you were 17 but now you're actually doing it you realise there's a lot more tough, boring crap than there is cool stuff. Rest assured it's the same in any job. Trouble is there's a myth that every one has some kind of one true vocation that's for them, the one job that they'll actually love doing. Maybe for some, but truth is for the majority a job is just something they do to pay the bills, and that life is the stuff you do outside of office hours. No shame in that. Your life isn't slipping away, you're young, you have time on your side and many options still.

Don't feel guilty if you don't know what you want to do with your life. The most interesting people I know didn't know at 22 what they wanted to do with their lives. Some of the most interesting 40-year-olds I know still don't. - Mary Schmich

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Read the speech by Anna Quindlen here



globetrotter said:

here's what I'd do - you know how to build **** (at least theoreticlaly) you're single, young and poor. look for a job with an international project company - build buildings on oil wells, or bridges in the middle of africa or **** like that. if you can't get a job like that, look into an NGO and go build **** in haiti or sudan. get a few more years experience and some cool stories under your belt.
plan B, maybe less basass, but pretty good too - look into selling something that arcetects buy, possibly hospital arcetects. learn how to sell, there is good money in that.
good luck

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first part of this ticks some of your boxes - travel, use yo quals. Isn't there an 'Architects without borders'?
but don't sweat it- 25 is soooo early in most peeps' life trajectory and I'd be more concerned if really did know where u were going
.. and yes- u have a job and u live in a city where much of the rest of the world would like to live, u not doing too bad



bringusingoodale said:

Meet a girl. fall in love.

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This is one thing I DON'T want to do right now..

StephenHero said:

My advice:
[...]

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Thanks for the info. I was actually thinking of San Diego; where does that fit in your list?

You guys are right; my situation is not grave and there are a lot of positives. I just need to take action soon. At this point I am leaning towards finding job/volunteer abroad and get some life and work experience.

Any advice on where I can find resources that will help me find employers overseas that might be looking for someone like me?

Also, I found a site called www.workaway.info, which offers jobs for room/board all over the world, and some of these locations and jobs seem amazing and interesting.

Depending where you live in San Diego it gets pretty expensive heh. But if you get away from the rich areas it's pretty affordable

I think first and foremost before doing anything life changing is to payoff all current debt, those student loans, and get some savings under your belt.