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Is it rude to tell someone the label is still on their suit jacket sleeve?

post #1 of 61
9/25/11 at 1:59pm
Thread Starter 
We were at a pretty fancy Charleston, SC wedding last week. Most everyone got the hint that it was black tie, but some people wore other style jackets, suits, etc.

We were at the reception and my wife and I were talking to a group of people. We had spent the previous night partying with them and going to a couple of bars, although we had never met before.

I noticed that one gentlemen still had the label on his sleeve and to him that he had forgotten to remove it.

I thought I was pretty subtle and did not make fun of him or draw attention to it within the group.

My wife told me it was rude to tell him. I think it is something he would have liked to know.

What does the collective think?
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post #2 of 61
9/25/11 at 2:04pm
take a group picture.....and tell him.
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post #3 of 61
9/25/11 at 2:08pm
If you do not know the person - ignore it
If you know the person - depends how well you know them

At the work xmas party last year, a colleague was wearing a new jacket. I told him, he should take the label off but he said he will have to do it when he goes home - I pulled the label off.

Complimenting a stranger is one thing, criticising them is just damn rude.
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post #4 of 61
9/25/11 at 2:10pm
Just quietly take him aside, and tell him to remove it. Show him how if he doesn't know how (which he probably doesn't). You were right not to bring it up in a large group, it would have been very rude.
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post #5 of 61
9/25/11 at 2:31pm
Quote:
Originally Posted by landshark View Post

Just quietly take him aside, and tell him to remove it. Show him how if he doesn't know how (which he probably doesn't). You were right not to bring it up in a large group, it would have been very rude.

+1 If it is someone I know, I will remark about it in private. Odds are, they would like to know.

If I don't know them, I generally ignore it. I'm sure they'll get through the night fine and the world will continue spinning. Any embarrassment they feel afterwards is better than the immediate embarrassment when you call them out at the function IMO.
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post #6 of 61
9/25/11 at 3:38pm
Quote:
Originally Posted by Macallan View Post

If you do not know the person - ignore it
If you know the person - depends how well you know them



Complimenting a stranger is one thing, criticising them is just damn rude.

+1

In my experience you never know how people will react....unless you know thema bit.

Mim
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post #7 of 61
9/25/11 at 4:29pm
The problem is that the person may think it's supposed to be left on. Like the neck label inside a shirt.
You don't want to start debating that with a stranger.
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post #8 of 61
9/25/11 at 4:40pm
I recently read about a study that linked empathy to others' embarrassing moments. Basically it implied that the more empathetic you were the more likely you would be to point out a potentially embarrassing situation to someone. Of course, an empathetic person would try to be discreet about it.

Personally I would appreciate someone telling me about something embarrassing, regardless of how well I know them. And I'd think more of them for speaking up.
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post #9 of 61
9/25/11 at 5:02pm
In my circles, I guess nobody knows ANYTHING about clothes or they're just not willing to tell the guy.. I met a friend wearing the label on the sleeve of his (black) suit, with the (red) thread still intact along the seams of the shoulders and sleeves . I pulled him aside and told him, you know, I think you're supposed to remove those.

"No, I think it's just fashion, like a red-on-black thing. My other suit is blue-on-black."

At the time I wasn't 100% sure myself... So I checked styleforum on my iPhone, and as we were leaving the conference, I told him that I was really sure its not fashion, it's something that suit stores do before they sell a jacket to help the fitting. Check it out yourself, I said, and see if that's right.

I felt that because he was in fact a year old than me, this was verging on very rude. We are pretty friendly, so I tried. I don't know if he followed up on this: i'll see him at the conference again in a couple months!

As we all know, the most basic, stupid "rules" of men's clothing are something that are not necessarily known or appreciated in the real world.
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post #10 of 61
9/25/11 at 5:09pm
Quote:
Originally Posted by Reevolving View Post

Like the neck label inside a shirt.
You don't want to start debating that with a stranger.

234
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post #11 of 61
9/25/11 at 5:24pm
My first thought was "Is he a Chinese from Mainland China?" (I'm Chinese BTW)

My mother was a seamstress, so she taught me most of the basic rules. I guess if you go and buy a $500 suit, you want to baby it and leave everything intact.
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post #12 of 61
9/25/11 at 5:29pm

carry some scissors around and just chop it off, if they react in a pleasant way you got lucky.

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post #13 of 61
9/25/11 at 5:33pm

You're all dolts - clearly HermesMan has moved onto suits.

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post #14 of 61
9/25/11 at 5:48pm
Quote:
Originally Posted by graymerica View Post

I noticed that one gentlemen still had the label on his sleeve and told him that he had forgotten to remove it.
I thought I was pretty subtle and did not make fun of him or draw attention to it within the group.
My wife told me it was rude to tell him. I think it is something he would have liked to know.
What does the collective think?

It is never rude to help someone. The guy either forgot or was ignorant. Sorry, but your wife is even dumber than him to suggest helping someone is rude. Introduce them to one another, then file for divorce. They belong together and you belong in better circles.
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post #15 of 61
9/25/11 at 7:15pm
Thread Starter 
"Sorry, but your wife is even dumber than him to suggest helping someone is rude."

Awesome. She is actually pretty smart, but my wife is the "queen" of protocol for things. She is very southern from an old southern family and they have an opinion about the way to just about everything. I am from CT, so I am always getting called out for doing things like a "yankee". Planning our wedding took three different books on etiquette. She thought that people would know our wedding was black tie because of what time it was, and that it was rude to put "Black Tie" on the invitation.

That is why I love this forum.
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