Houses with 'No Shoe' Rules - Page 17

My daughter just pooped on the floor . . . again. I cannot worry about shoes or no shoes at this time in our life.

Just trying to keep my carpets fairly sanitary until she is potty trained is enough worry about for now.

Buy some laminated flooring...

It seems as though this debate is roughly split down the middle in terms of the views of posters. With that in mind, I don't think you can call a no shoes policy a "personal quirk" - it is a preferance that a sizeable number of people who have posted in this thread have. It is no more a "personal quirk" than someone wishing to leave their shoes on.

With regards to the "leave your shoes on if your guests do" approach - not sure I really see the rationale with this. How far do you take the analogy? If someone comes to my house for dinner and starts talking while they have their mouth full, should I start doing the same just to make them feel at ease? I'm sorry, but if a householder has certain basic principles they abide by they should not have to adjust them to accomodate whoever happens to be at their house from time to time.

This thread is essentially - "Someone invited me in to their home the other day, asked me to take off my shoes - I am offended by what this person would like done in their own home because it inconveniences my sartorial delight."

Hard to say there's a funnier thread in the whole forum, a bunch of man-children crying their fetishes aren't being embraced.

It was the thought that counts.

If the Queen passed wind, would it be appropriate for her guests to pass wind too? I feel as not.

What were you instructed to do or say?

But I'll add this ... I've been presented to the Queen on several occasions and one does not remove his shoes. Of course there was that Bavarian princess who asked me to remove my shoes ... and my coat ... and my shirt ... and I best stop before I say too much.
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Was he a doctor?

You feel good walking around someone's house putting the dog shit and scum that is on the bottom of your shoe onto their floors?

Sigh

You could not have made a worse point to support your position. First, what RSS points out is correct. Second, while it is true that many people are coached before meeting the Queen or, indeed, any member of the royal family, the coaching is for their benefit, not the Queen's. Most people, at least in England, want to behave properly in a social situation. They feel more comfortable knowing what is considered correct in what, for them, may be an unusual situation. But if you do not bow correctly or address the Queen incorrectly, I guarantee you that you will not be beaten with pikestaffs by those guys in the big furry hats nor will the Queen acknowledge your faux pas in any way. Queen Elizabeth is extremely gracious and, after a lifetime of public service, thoroughly unflappable. The most cutting public comment she ever allows herself is "How unusual!" And this is usually reserved for behavior that would have sent you to the Tower in an earlier age.

I do admit, however, that if you were to start removing your shoes on being presented to the Queen, you probably would be hustled out of the presence. This is not because you were rude but because you would be viewed as mentally unstable and as a possible security threat.

Thank you for raising a point of total unanimity. I think everyone in this thread agrees that we will all wear shoes at your house.

I need to return to this. We have reached a sad pass when even iGents are confusing social invitations with concert tickets. "THIS CONTRACT LIMITS OUR LIABILITY. READ IT."

A social invitation is not a business transaction. Because the host is the host, and, if you want to be crude about it, has all the power, it is the host that is ultimately responsible for the guest's comfort. Guests, in turn, are obligated to be as agreeable as possible so that the host does not have to unreasonable exert himself on the guest's behalf. When everyone involved is focussed on ensuring that everyone around them enjoys themselves, an extraordinarily good time is had by all. Sadly, as evidenced in this thread -- as if we needed any more evidence -- this social convention is rarely understood and even more rarely practiced.

The "My House, My Rules" people are essentially viewing an invitation to their house as a business transaction. When leasing out a property, it is perfectly respectable to negotiate all sorts of specific terms and conditions about how the property is to be used. But it is extremely rude to meet a "guest" at the door of your house with a contract and waiver of liability for him to sign outlining the agreed uses of the premises. If you think a guest has behaved rudely in your house, do not invite him back, even if your definition of "rude" is completely eccentric. But trying to impose your specific list of "Do's and Dont's" as a condition of entry is -- and Miss Manners says so, so there is just no arguing about it -- rude.

I have not read this thread, but I find it irritating having to take off my shoes in people's houses. Especially when their place doesn't have great flooring, or is messy/dirty to begin with. I just don't like not having trees in my shoes and also when they take the shoes and put them in a pile somewhere. It scuffs them up and such. Then, I don't have my shoe horn to get them back on. Frankly, I take better care of my shoes than most people do with their homes. Not to mention I feel that leather soles stay pretty darn clean. A lot cleaner than shoes with rubber treads of some sort.

My girlfriend has this policy and I always roll my eyes at her when I walk into her place. I found it ironic that one day she was at my place and commented on how the bottoms of her feet never get dirty at my place like they do at hers.

Patrick you're cheating. Misery loves company. Just you go back to page 1. Some amusing posts along the way.