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Houses with 'No Shoe' Rules - Page 11

post #151 of 541
Quote:
Originally Posted by caxt View Post

Quote:
Originally Posted by cptjeff View Post

I generally hate people who are so afraid of ruining things that they can't bear to use them. People who make you afraid to walk around in a house qualify as assholes, IMO. It's supposed to be a place to live in. If you can't relax there, what's the fucking point?

I'll remove shoes if you ask me to, but unless you're from an asian culture, I consider it a bit of a rude request. The way I was raised, you make an effort for guests- which means cleaning up, even if not to an absurd degree, and understanding that the house will need to be cleaned after any party. Expecting your home to stay pristine all of the time is moronic, and enforcing that on others is rude.

Cleaning is a fact of life. Germs aren't as horrible as you think they are. Come to terms with those, and your life will be much less stressful, and your guests will like you more.

I’m noticing a theme throughout many of these posts. It seems Southerners are much less concerned then Northerners and/or foreigners about shoe removal in houses.

Some hypotheses:
1.Northern States which have a larger influx of inclement “dirty” weather and higher concentrations of immigrants more deeply focus this cultural norm.
2.Southern hospitality places the position of the guest above the host.
3.Being in a hotter climate and being less prone to wear socks, Southerners understand that removing shoes is not always a pleasant experience for bystanders.

Living in the South and having visited several other Southern States, I will share what others will think of you as in several situations:

-If as a host you instruct your guests to remove their shoes before entering your house your request would be complied with, but you would have offended your guests unless you had a very good explanation or were obviously of Asian heritage. Furthermore if this occurred during a party event several people would leave after a short period of time.
(This rule does not apply to mothers addressing their son’s young friends under the age of twelve, because they are too young to know better. Adults are expected to be clean and would never think of entering a house in a soiled condition.)

-If as a host you greeted and entertained guests barefoot, you would be seen at best as a novelty.

-As a guest, if you entered someone’s home and immediately removed your shoes, you would be seen as an oddity. It would be similar to what how I expect Asians react when an American goes inside with their shoes donned or showing up in a t-shirt and shorts to.

-Lastly, if you threw a black tie party and indicated that shoe removal was necessary you would be committing a deadly social offense and could expect to lose some friends. (Pretty much can not imagine someone actually demanding this though.)

- Your guests will curse you to hell for the mortal sin of offending their precious sensibilities.

smile.gif
post #152 of 541
Quote:
Originally Posted by Bounder View Post

Quote:
Originally Posted by Dib View Post

I spend most of my time in London and it is second nature for me, and most people I know, to instinctively remove our shoes when entering someone's house. The vast majority of households I know remove their shoes before walking around the house (and to be honest, the thought of wearing outdoor shoes around the house seems to me to be a little bit disgusting).

This has certainly not been my experience. Do you live in an ethnic enclave?
I had the same experience as Dib visiting friends in England; I believe it was the same in Germany, although my memory fails me here. All were of non-immigrant, caucasian descent.
post #153 of 541
Quote:
Originally Posted by Bounder View Post

Quote:
Originally Posted by juniper 

On the shoes-off thing, I'm happy to accept people of other cultures or nationalities doing it, but when someone of my culture and geography does it, it's almost inevitably turns out that they're bland, parochial fucks who you wouldn't want to spend time with anyway. I spit on their Kinkades.
I am not sure that I really agree with this but it is so funny that I want to.

I missed this the first time around- it's great.

The model fails for mixed households though, like many of the folks here. Then you just get to decide they are "bland, parochial fucks" because thats what you want to think of them anyway.
post #154 of 541
Quote:
Originally Posted by cptjeff View Post


So the host is now more important than the guest? Good to know. Here I was thinking that hospitality demanded that the guest take precedence.

But maybe you're onto something. My clothes have touched walls in buildings that are never cleaned. My ass touches chairs that are sweated in, puked on, or what have you on a regular basis. My elbows go against things covered in all sorts of crazy microbes. Clearly, I should remove my pants and shirt before I sit on your furniture. And since my underwear have been sitting against my ass all day, I should remove those so you only get the current contamination rather than an entire day's worth.

This literally had me rolling on the floor.
post #155 of 541
Quote:
Originally Posted by caxt View Post


I’m noticing a theme throughout many of these posts. It seems Southerners are much less concerned then Northerners and/or foreigners about shoe removal in houses.

Some hypotheses:
1.Northern States which have a larger influx of inclement “dirty” weather and higher concentrations of immigrants more deeply focus this cultural norm.
2.Southern hospitality places the position of the guest above the host.
3.Being in a hotter climate and being less prone to wear socks, Southerners understand that removing shoes is not always a pleasant experience for bystanders.


4) In some countries owning shoes is so unusual you don't want to take them off. You risk the strange leather goods being stolen to be turned into flower pots.
post #156 of 541
Quote:
Originally Posted by CharlesAlexander View Post


This literally had me rolling on the floor.

Be careful. Those things are filthy.
post #157 of 541
Quote:
Originally Posted by caxt View Post


I’m noticing a theme throughout many of these posts. It seems Southerners are much less concerned then Northerners and/or foreigners about shoe removal in houses.

Some hypotheses:
1.Northern States which have a larger influx of inclement “dirty” weather and higher concentrations of immigrants more deeply focus this cultural norm.
2.Southern hospitality places the position of the guest above the host.
3.Being in a hotter climate and being less prone to wear socks, Southerners understand that removing shoes is not always a pleasant experience for bystanders.

I point to the southernmost state in the Union is not Southern.

I point to removing shoes in that state is more or less the norm.

That is all.
post #158 of 541
Eleven pages?

I'd like to point out that it seems to be very much a part of our culture to remove one's shoes in a guests house. However, this is a courtesy thing. Few people would take offense if someone wore shoes in the house or if they were asked to remove them at an others. I don't think this extends to parties with the exception of winter where guest will pile their shoes on the porch. This also does not extend to formal functions.

For those not from the colder climates: One of the things that shoes do in the winter is collect snow and dirt and ice. Shoes left on the foot produce water and mud puddles from the ice melting.... and for those unlucky individuals in stockings who step in these puddles:a nice ice cold wet foot. I think this is why the tradition exists.
post #159 of 541
Thread Starter 
Quote:
Originally Posted by caxt View Post

I’m noticing a theme throughout many of these posts. It seems Southerners are much less concerned then Northerners and/or foreigners about shoe removal in houses.
I spend a fair amount of time in Washington (San Juan Islands), California (Bay Area), New York (New York), Louisiana (New Orleans), Missouri (St. Louis), and England (London). Moreover I travel extensively and visit people in their homes. Except in in a few cultures where removing shoes has long been the norm, I have very rarely been asked to remove my shoes. That said, the two occurences that lead to this thread both occurred in suburban Orinda, California.

There is something more at play here than location.
post #160 of 541
If somebody asks you to take off their shoes in Orinda, and they are caucasian, then they're probably pretentious little shits.
post #161 of 541
tounge.gif
post #162 of 541
Quote:
Originally Posted by RSS View Post

I spend a fair amount of time in Washington (San Juan Islands), California (Bay Area), New York (New York), Louisiana (New Orleans), Missouri (St. Louis), and England (London). Moreover I travel extensively and visit people in their homes. Except in in a few cultures where removing shoes has long been the norm, I have very rarely been asked to remove my shoes. That said, the two occurences that lead to this thread both occurred in suburban Orinda, California.

There is something more at play here than location.

Same here. I've visited people in lots of states and countries and except for Asian countries, I've never, ever been asked to remove my shoes.
post #163 of 541
Quote:
Originally Posted by james_timothy View Post


I point to the southernmost state in the Union is not Southern.

I point to removing shoes in that state is more or less the norm.

That is all.

Perhaps this is true South of Ocala, but ironically I happen to reside in North Florida.
(Almost South Georgia but still.)
And it is to that region I am referencing - where it is certainly not the “norm.”
post #164 of 541
Quote:
Originally Posted by JLibourel View Post


If I went to a party and were told to take off my shoes (unless I had been informed it was a "sock hop"--if they still have those things), I would turn right around, go my way and cross those people off my social list. I would make an exception in the Far East or some other region where it is customary, likewise if I had to trek through mud or icy slush to their door, but if my hosts were Americans, irrespective of ethnic background, and asked me to take off my shoes, they could go to Hell as far as I am concerned.

I wonder how well this would have gone over on Christmas Eve going to my gf-at-the-time's aunt and uncle's fairly new house (who have always been nice and kind to me) for dinner and holiday celebration. Yah I was wearing my Chan suit. While I didn't prefer the idea of taking off my shoes considering my get up. I quickly got over it. Thinking that they should go to hell was the farthest thing from my mind. I mean, really?
post #165 of 541
Quote:
Originally Posted by RSS View Post

There is something more at play here than location.

Perhaps there is. What shoes were you wearing when you were in Orinda? Your bespoke joints or some offensive rtw JLP beaters?
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