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Would you tell a new girl you had/have HPV? If so, when?

post #1 of 15
Thread Starter 

This is the most mature forum I lurk in, so I'd like to hear your thoughts/experiences..

 

Background: I'm 30 and I just recently got a case of HPV that has the pleasant side effect of genital warts. Its only like 4-5 little flesh/white circles primarly on my scrotum and base of the penis that I'm going to get froze off at the Dr. tomorrow. 

 

 

Virus: Not to trivialize it but it doesnt sound bad - there are over 100 strands of HPV,  80% of the population gets it at some point- most guys never even know since there are no symptoms, no test, can lay dormant for years but the body clears it out in 90% of the cases within 2 years anyways.  CAN cause cancer in girls but its so rare with screening its not really worth worrying about - 7 out of 100k chance.  

 

Just the fact I got one of the strands that leaves a visible sign is upsetting; 10+ years of ignorance was bliss!!!

 

 

Problem 1: I just started dating this girl for a few weeks - 5 or 6 dates but no sex yet.  Usually I'm a 3-4 date rule guy, but Im purposely dragging this out.  Our relationship isnt that strong, but I definetly have to man up and tell her if the warts are still there and we're gonna have sex, but when do I drop this bomb, and how??? 

 

  • Do it now when our relationship isnt that strong and she might cut her losses and not waste her time - but ultimately be bettter in the end if she was gonna do that anyways so it saves me time
  • Tell her when we're closer to having sex (probably 2-5 more dates) when the relationship is a little stronger. If she rejects me then I lose all that time and effort dating someone for nothing.

 

 

Problem 2:  I was planning on calling my ex (still good terms, may date again) tomorrow and tell her.  Anyone have experience with this awesome conversation?

 

 

The anxiety I'm getting about bringing up this topic is not good... Im screwed either way I think.

post #2 of 15
i've only been with 1 girl for 3 years, and have no experience with this stuff, but hypothetically, i think i'd wait to get them removed before i even began to have any sort of intimate relations with another girl.
post #3 of 15
She can get (or already has gotten) the vaccine. Don't even touch her until two weeks after you've been treated. It doesn't spread to the mouth, so you can still have her slob on your knob without concern (after the warts have been burned off).
Edited by willpower - 8/22/11 at 9:26pm
post #4 of 15
Yeah but be sure to tell her why. "Yeah we can't have sex because I just had these genital warts frozen off, but you can still suck on my warty junk."

Nice name, btw.
post #5 of 15
5* threak
post #6 of 15
Quote:
Originally Posted by willpower View Post

She can get (or already has gotten) the vaccine. Don't even touch her until two weeks after you've been treated. It doesn't spread to the mouth, so you can still have her slob on your knob without concern (after the warts have been burned off).

I dont think this is entirely true.

I know for a fact the vaccine is only for young people (Up to 25 or something - ive seen it all over the paper/magazines), so if she's older, OP is SOL.

Second, even after they are burned/froze off, the root virus is still there, right? Warts are just the visible symptom, like he said. So the ones on his sack/shaft base that isnt covered by a condom is exposed even with a condom.

Third, its a virus, so once its in your body you have it, right? Its not isolated like a rash or something. In other words, no matter how it gets in you, if it touches and penetrates thin sensitive skin like your eye or mouth or wang, then the virus will travel the blood stream and attack the gentials.
At least, that is my understanding


EDIT: LOL at mature forum. And Strong User Name :: problem ratio.
post #7 of 15
Thread Starter 

Not have sex or even date for 2 YEARS?   Thats crazy.  If it turns into a serious thing and we both eradicate the virus, no harm no foul.

 

Also, its not about being careless.  Condoms dont protect against it.  Its skin on skin contact, hence the base of my penis is the only part that has the bumps.   And its only cancerous in VERY few (7 out of 100k), and Im sure most of those are women who dont have regular paps.

post #8 of 15
When you tell her, avoid using the word "warts" because that sounds really gross. You have a responsibility to tell your ex ASAP since she might already have it.
post #9 of 15
Dear OP, when considering whether to tell this woman consider this - would you have liked to have been told that the garbage whore you were sleeping with gave you this virus had told you?
post #10 of 15
Ignorance is bliss.
post #11 of 15

Hi, I realize I am addressing you 4 year after the posting date...still...how did it go? How are you managing this issue now? Where are you with dating?

post #12 of 15
I have a female friend who got HPV from her boyfriend. The freezing didn't work and she had to have this painful surgery called Leep that took a layer off her cervix and she was bedridden for a week. Always fess up before sex and wrap it up
post #13 of 15
Quote:
Originally Posted by pravda View Post

I have a female friend who got HPV from her boyfriend. The freezing didn't work and she had to have this painful surgery called Leep that took a layer off her cervix and she was bedridden for a week. Always fess up before sex and wrap it up

Not gonna happen. Most people will tell you when you are months into the relationship. I worked with this guy that didn't tell anyone he was seeing he had HIV. You should always wear a condom, or mess with young chicks you haven't been ran through yet.
post #14 of 15
Quote:
Originally Posted by Dallas View Post

Hi, I realize I am addressing you 4 year after the posting date...still...how did it go? How are you managing this issue now? Where are you with dating?

OP and his gf died of cancer.
post #15 of 15
Quote:
Originally Posted by Reggs View Post

When you tell her, avoid using the word "warts" because that sounds really gross. You have a responsibility to tell your ex ASAP since she might already have it.

Jesus Christ. I was reading this thread, scrolling down every post, and thinking that I would pretty much post the above, only to be surprised by my own comment I made in 2011.
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