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In this thread you ask how to behave in restaurants and other locations, and people who have been... - Page 6

post #76 of 481
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Originally Posted by LA Guy View Post


It's your icecream. You should grab it with your mouth for next level effect.

Or anus for next, next level effect.
post #77 of 481
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Originally Posted by Fuuma View Post


Dude, just assume I said Eastern Europe or something.

i assumed, you were talking about the u.s.
post #78 of 481
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Originally Posted by LA Guy View Post


You just look at the guy, fix the square, and say "Man, I don't even know you. Don't touch me. It's not cool. " and leave it at that. wtf are you going to do? Challenge him to kumite? Make your point, and let it go. Most likely, he will be uncomfortable, and make another douchey comment, but the likelihood of his actually escalating the situation when you are calm, not making aggressive gestures or using aggressive language, and you make him seem lame and immature, is pretty low. This from someone who used to work a door, and is about 165 lbs when lean and muscled out. It's all about putting people in their place without provoking them.

Those situations are so dynamic I really don't know what I would do. I can list some scenarios, like I did, but you really just never know the outcome. Sometimes friendships have been made from those moments and sometimes people end up in the hospital. I'm sure you've been in similar stuations as I have where the right comment diffuses things and drinks get bought and other times the donnybrook happens. I think the douche might have targetted Nay for his size (if I'm correct about his stature) and that's super douchey. I've always subscribed to the thought that if you're looking for a fight be a man and make it a challenge.
post #79 of 481
Quote:
Originally Posted by NorCal View Post

I'd look at it like this, your are the master of your own home and can enforce any rule you like. To some degree this extends outside the home, at my own table I'd tell my brother or my kids to get their feet off the chair, but the manager/owner is the one who decides what goes in their establishment. If they are comfortable with feet on chairs, it's really their call. The insult is not so egregious that needs must you take action.

That said, the world is full of the ignorant and savage so next time keep a Best Made close at hand to lend proper gravitas to your meaningful stares.

I'd agree normally, but due to the postion of the tables his feet were about 1 metre from my wife and directly in her view.  I could have asked the hostess to deal with it but it appeared that she wouldn't so I chose to be polite and ask him to take his feet off the chair.  

 

Could have gone for the axe that I keep in my truck, but as I said it was kind of a nice place and a blood letting seemed unwarranted.

 

lefty

post #80 of 481
Quote:
Originally Posted by lefty View Post

I tend to subscribe to the Tony Soprano school of fine dining, but I think I would let a dick swinger be.
I'm surprised he didn't tell you to go fuck yourself. Only problem with being from the Tony Soprano school is eventually you'll have to break some legs.
post #81 of 481
Quote:
Originally Posted by lefty View Post

I'd agree normally, but due to the postion of the tables his feet were about 1 metre from my wife and directly in her view.  I could have asked the hostess to deal with it but it appeared that she wouldn't so I chose to be polite and ask him to take his feet off the chair.  

 

Could have gone for the axe that I keep in my truck, but as I said it was kind of a nice place and a blood letting seemed unwarranted.

 

lefty


well at least you asked right away.

the dick move would have been to finish eating then mention passive aggressively while walking away that having his foot up on the chair was rude.

by asking right away you minimized the stress.
post #82 of 481
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Originally Posted by freedom_fries View Post


you need to go to restaurants where the waiters aren't idiots.

if he is an idiot, tell him you're not finished.

Maybe they're just clearing space for your mothers elbows?

Thing is, not all people want you to leave a plate. I've worked as a waiter and there are those who will act like you just offered to drown their dog if you ask to take their plate too soon. There are also those that will rather pointedly bitch if their plate is not gone the second they are finished. One of the horrible things about food service is that everyone wants it their way, are sure that their way is the best way, and are often unaware that there might be another school of thought.
That and expectations far beyond what they are willing to pay for.

I could go on but it has all been said before.
post #83 of 481
The Tony Soprano school is funny, but I go by it. Lefty, I would have did the same thing.

I remember the scene when Finn (Meadow bf) was out with the Soprano family where he sneaked around and paid for the meal. Tony let him know afterward that when it is his family, he pays.


Here is one....Waiter comes up to you mid meal and ask everyone how their food is. Everyone else is really enjoying the meal and they let the waiter know everything is great. However, you have already eaten 1/4 of the food and it sucks. Do you let the waiter know your honest opinion perhaps ruining the 'vibe' for everyone else. Do you bite your tongue and say its great, but only eat another 1/4?

If you do tell the waiter it sucks, do you expect to be allowed to order something else (similar price) at no costs even though you have already eaten 1/4 of it?

This happened to me recently. I ordered something and it tasted like food from a 3rd grade cafeteria in the ghetto. Everyone else thoroughly enjoyed what they ordered. I had only eaten a tiny amount of the meat, but had already eaten most the vegetables that came with it. I let the waiter know the entree was nasty.

I could tell it through him off guard and he agreed that they restaurant never got it right, but it ended right there, I requested that he take it back and bring back a hamburger w/ no sides. Something safe, cheaper than what I ordered, and was polite about it.

I was with family and close friends. Would this situation change if you were with people you did not know well such as meeting your g/f parents for the first time, a boss you do not know, etc? In my case, I would have done the same thing. My food even looked nasty.

What is the proper thing to do at a top restaurant in NYC? I am not talking about a 'cool scene with ok food' that is expensive, but a real fine dining place with a dedicated chef.
post #84 of 481

Quote:
Originally Posted by HomerJ View Post

I'm surprised he didn't tell you to go fuck yourself. Only problem with being from the Tony Soprano school is eventually you'll have to break some legs.

I carry an axe in my truck.  

 

lefty

 

post #85 of 481
Quote:
Originally Posted by mafoofan View Post

Yes. Not so simple when you are talking about old friend who you are very close with. I'd rather continue eating where they'd like than stop seeing them.
I'd push back a little and say that you booked the place long in advance and heart it's great (ie you won't be disappointed) and really want to go there (ie I'm your friend so try to make me happy for once), plus the wife is really looking forward to it (ie hey you know what women are like, don't make me piss off my wife), and so you're going to go there, but of course you still want to see them so it would be great if they can join you two, plus the reservation was for 4 anyway...
or maybe mention how the last time you went to the place they wanted, so fair is fair, it's your turn now.
Quote:
Originally Posted by lefty View Post

 


I tend to subscribe to the Tony Soprano school of fine dining, but I think I would let a dick swinger be.

 

Here's another: you have finished eating and your cutlery is in the off position but your companion is still eating.  Waiter reaches for your plate.  Stop him or not?

 

lefty

I was going to ask this one too. Personally I always try to sort of time finishing my meal so others end around the same time too but it's not always practical since some people eat slowly or get meals later, etc. This also happens to me if for even a second I put down the cutlery and take a breather to chat instead of just shovelling in food and the waiter rushes over. I generally just keep talking and wave and hold my hand over the plate and look at them then keep talking to the other person. Even with an empty place in front of me I put my hand clearly over the plate and say 'that's ok thanks'.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Fuuma View Post

Let’s say you are travelling to a country (maybe third world where there’s a huge range of salaries) where you have never been before, how do you ascertain how much you should tip the bellman? Do you use regional standards? Always tip the same? Maybe use some sort of product as a guideline? Go with instinct? Use the price of the room as a gauge? I know what I do but I’m curious about what you do.
I'd say just tip whatever's normal for where you're from, ie like $5-10. if that happens to be a huge amount in their currency, then good for them. it's the same you would have paid in your local zone so give whatever you're comfortable with and if it's 3rd world then your same buck goes further, it doens't mean you should spend less to get the same.
Quote:
Originally Posted by LawrenceMD View Post

also what do you do when your friends are out and you're in your work clothes/specific uniform? - specifically in my case I'll be in scrubs and running late and do want to hang out, but I don't want to commute back and forth just to change into regular clothes (i'm already late as is - and don't want to meet up with a group in the middle/finishing eating dinner or when they already have 2-4 drinks in them). I'm married and don't really care about looking good for other women, so when I have old friends who want to meet up in a casual restaurant/bar I'll just go straight in in scrubs and at least say hi.
dressing appropriately is the most important thing. even though you're not there to pickup girls, you're still meeting up with friends and while they want to see you, even if it's late, out of respect for THEM, change into some non-scrubs.



here's one, let's say you're out somewhere and people want to split the bill, but nobody mentions taht up front. So you want to just order a main, and something inexpensive, but everybody else orders apps, desert, wine, so splitting is like double your bill. This just pisses me off. I want to hang out with the folks and go to a nice place but just even on principle (don't say I'm being cheap), it doesn't seem fair.
post #86 of 481
Quote:
Originally Posted by Master-Classter View Post

here's one, let's say you're out somewhere and people want to split the bill, but nobody mentions taht up front. So you want to just order a main, and something inexpensive, but everybody else orders apps, desert, wine, so splitting is like double your bill. This just pisses me off. I want to hang out with the folks and go to a nice place but just even on principle (don't say I'm being cheap), it doesn't seem fair.

People who put others in those positions are kind of dicks but sometimes you need to take one for the team. In a just world, one of them should at least offer to buy you a drink later.
post #87 of 481
Quote:
Originally Posted by mordecai View Post

tl;dr/Colin Powell warning:

Did I make too big of a deal out of this? The following chain led to some friction afterwards.
Warning: Spoiler! (Click to show)
Quote:
From: Rebecca
Sent: Wednesday, July 27, 2011 2:21 PM
To: employees
Subject: RE: Kitchen
[attachments]

Operation CLEAN THE FRIDGE took place this afternoon. Trays and shelves were removed and washed. Many items were discarded, container and all. If you are missing any items, they either were expired, moldy, liquefied, dried out or had no name. I am unable to comprehend why the “adults” in this office continue to let this happen. It is disgusting and unsanitary to leave your rotting food in the fridge for others to clean and discard for you.

From: Maxwell
Sent: Wednesday, July 27, 2011 2:24 PM
To: Rebecca; employees
Subject: RE: Kitchen

Did those disgusting adults also leave rotting food in your email? Just curious, and thank you for sending the lovely photos right after lunch.


From: Rebecca
Sent: Wednesday, July 27, 2011 2:25 PM
To: employees
Subject: RE: Kitchen

Yes they did. My pleasure.



From: Maxwell
Sent: Wednesday, July 27, 2011 2:34 PM
To: Rebecca
Subject: RE: Kitchen

Please don’t send me an email like that again. If you want the culprits to know who they are then perhaps just list what was in there.


From: Rebecca
Sent: Wednesday, July 27, 2011 2:39 PM
To: Maxwell
Subject: RE: Kitchen

If you use the fridge, which I know you do, then you are not exempt from receiving email about the fridge. If you don’t want to look at the photos, don’t open them.


From: Maxwell
Sent: Wednesday, July 27, 2011 2:49 PM
To: Rebecca
Subject: RE: Kitchen

Yeah that wasn’t my point at all. Don’t send me photos of rotting food again.


From: Rebecca
Sent: Wednesday, July 27, 2011 3:16 PM
To: Maxwell
Subject: RE: Kitchen

First of all Maxwell don’t tell me what to do and check the tone your email.

The email was meant to be informative to let everybody know what is sitting next to the food they plan to eat. If I knew who the owners of the food was I would leave the container on their desk. I’m not creating a “list” of crap I can’t identify because you have a weak stomach.

If you have a problem with it, you should take it up with management.


From: Maxwell
Sent: Wednesday, July 27, 2011 3:20 PM
To: Rebecca
Subject: RE: Kitchen

My stomach also isn't the point. I'm amazed that the notion of courtesy has eluded you all of these years of working in a professional environment and that it would require scolding from management. I am also amazed that you don't see the irony of your emails. You think it is somehow more "adult" to intentionally inflict nausea on the entire office because a couple of co-workers accidentally left some food in the fridge?


Rebecca sounds like uptight and probably difficult to deal with on a regular basis, but you also come off like a sissy complaining about a few attached photos in an email.
post #88 of 481
Great thread here. Useful but entertaining. Tipping and other restaurant etiquette always makes me so nervous if it's an unfamiliar situation.
post #89 of 481
"Hey that's a nice (piece of clothing). Where did you get it?"

I never know how to answer this question and tend to just brush it off. Do you usually tell them the actual name of the store you bought it from? Or just the name of the brand?
post #90 of 481
Quote:
Originally Posted by lefty View Post

Here's another: you have finished eating and your cutlery is in the off position but your companion is still eating.  Waiter reaches for your plate.  Stop him or not?

lefty

If your companion is still eating, don't put your cutlery in the off postion.
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Styleforum › Forums › Culture › Social Life, Food & Drink, Travel › In this thread you ask how to behave in restaurants and other locations, and people who have been out in public answer.